Hurt

The end came with winter's first frost
Is it okay with you that friendship was the cost?
The December snow fell and the heart I won got lost
Remember your hearted I's and hearts criss crossed?
We all trip up but not all of us grow soft
The same heart you ripped up, spit at trust and walked it off
And it's true I used my words as my weapons
but I'm still rendered helpless against your swords of deception
I surrendered to neglected moments of affection
The communication's cease holds up my chords when they mention
Your name... this blame game, shit its all same with misguided conceptions
Self-made inventions without verbal intervention
I see myself fade from all known convention
So I thought to myself should I ignore her or choose confrontation
Knowing either way we would lose our safe stations
Like black holes in space I feel like I'm falling from grace
And the only way to save face disapates my patience
Knowing the significance of hate's connotations
Feeling it seems to emancipate my hurt mind's emotional abrasions
All this time I've been running I don't know what towards
I think now I was running away but time forced me to spring fowards
I don't know what I was thinking the day I spoke those three words
Because when I saw you laugh I thought it would last
Just how were you able to catch me in your grasp?
I latched on to you and I guess I got to attached
OH! that night we danced
then you told me that "friend" was a new romance
I can't... I won't do this bitch, I already gave you a second chance
So look at me now and say what you want to say because when I walk away
I'm not going to give you a second glance
Some stories need to be told and just can't be summerized
Stolen glances you stole from my soul with those summer eyes
I guess I'll see you around, round like your deep brown iris
I still feel your affect, the side effect of my love was blindness
When I went home that night I said to myself "Would I risk?"
Knowing the truth or get left hunting the youth missed
What the fuck was in you that I couldn't resist
I don't want to reminisce on the kiss
I wish I didn't know what it was like because they say "ignorance is bliss"
And as the pain became deep
I let myself sink beneath
I'll never forget how the light faded to white
The night you made my sky turn black
Seems we said words we didn't mean but we can never have this time took back
This is not a dream, I told you once leave I'll never have my eyes look back
I just thought you lay inside me when you sat beside my side
Do you know what it's like to be filled with cries
That just can't subside because you placed contrived lies where my soul resides
Apart from ties new guises arise
The sunsets survive but their constant tries to rise
I've just about given up, I just don't give a fuck
Don't believe in all that mushy stuff or luck
In essense the blessing of fate's testing atrophied my faith in relying and guessing,
Loving not lusting, on it and stressing I was honest and trusting
Looking above I see white doves regressing
I confess for the longest time I was supressing
Obsessing over what I would say to you and distressing
Over and over sequentially, consequentially it was played in my head
Eloquently spoken but silence was the only thing actually said
Funny how at one time your love to me was essential
You were quintessential;
But love like hate has the potential to grow exponential
Maybe she'll think about me one day and then she'll...
Fuck it, I don't know what I what her to say or know how she'll feel
I just want to find someone to carry me away and show me love thats real
I long for the day when this flame fades away like the sun into the shade
Because soon we'll go our seperate ways, the price being paid, I will not be the one afraid
So deep we were into, and despite all the shit we've been through
I want to live... and yes I want you to live too
And I want you to be happy.. I just don't think I can ever forgive you.