CHOKING ON MY FEARS

So things are wrong again
I've become the person I never thought I could be again
And the same old thoughts are running through my mind
And the same old blade running over the old scars inside

But this time I hate myself
Maybe hate isn't strong enough, I despise myself
Every thought and every sound, every inch and every move
Everything I ever wanted I had, but I lost it when I lost you

I cannot see a thing
I'm blinded by my infected tears and I can't see a thing
I gave the same attitude out as I did before, I never seem to learn
I gave the same illusions out as I always did, touch the fire without the burns

And I'm breaking down again
I've sunk back to the depths of before, I'm drowning here again
In my own self pitty from my own stupid mistakes, I'm all alone with my tears
In my own dirty blood from broken wounds, I'm choking on my own stupid fears.