The Darkness within
The Darkness seeps up
through the earth as
it entangles around me.
The struggles are rather
pointless as it tightens its
grip on my legs pulling
down as it does.
I scream into the
deaf silence for help
crying all the while.
I try to pull
free from the endless
darkness and scramble away
from the madness within.
I fail once again
when it comes to
preserving myself. Falling into
the wet leaves and
cold night. It hurts.
It pains me knowing
that I am being
taken into the depths
of the darkness and
away from everything I
loved. away from life.
As I struggle to
regain the light I
wonder what I am
fighting for. life? Ha,
adults who choose to
hurt children and other
such tremendously vicious crimes?
I think about all
the people who have
ever hurt me and
the ones that never would.
The numbers of those
who hurt me, far
out number those who
never would. Yet some
reason I feel that
I must keep fighting
for those who would
never ever hurt me.
I fight to breath
while the darkness strangles
me. I start to
black out seeping into
sleep knowing only that
"those" dreams would be
there and I would
not sleep! I can't.
I can not sleep.
I fight sleep harder
than I was the
darkness. I was scared.
I fight the darkness
and the sleep. Struggling
and screaming into the
night. Fighting against it.
I thrash and jerk
as the darkness tightens
its grip around my
neck. Thoughts of "those"
men flash as if
they are here with
me. I cry and
thrash some more. I
do not know how
to get away but
I know that I
must or I will
surely die or worse.
I awake in a
flash with the sheets
wrapped tightly around me
and my face is soaked
in cold sweat and
tears. I struggle with
the sheets trying to
free myself from my
confines. Finally I break
free and just huddle
in the corner of
my bed crying. The
images continue to flash.
I know that I
will eventually fall asleep
again and fall right
back into the same
dream. But not yet,
I can not sleep
right now. I cry
and realize that I
am shaking very hard.
I need to get
away run go somewhere
where I will feel
safe. I hug myself
as I know that
there is no where
that is safe from
these nightmares. I lay
there crying and shaking
looking for the freedom.
I find it as
I squeeze the teddy
bear that a friend
left there. I always
feel safe in his
arms and in the
memory of him that
stays with his bear.
I fall back into
a restless sleep this
time thinking about him.
I never thought I
would ever feel safe
in a man's arms
again but in his
I do. I know
that he would never
hurt me and that
I can remain safe.
He would protect me.
I love him dearly.
He is a true friend.
I know I am
safe within his
arms. Only his arms.