I CAN FINALLY TALK YOU PEOPLE! Thank you incredibly for anyone who did/will read this story. I apologize incredibly for the length (around 75 pages!), but I tried to keep it slightly entertaining or emotional pulling. I'm sorry that the first person was so limiting. I wanted to talk about what happened to Chase, what happened to Jak, what happened at Jess's funeral…but that doesn't really work when the main character who you're seeing everything through dies, now does it? Yeah…that was kind of a bummer, but I assure you that the first person was essential to the story, so it's not like I'm trying to take something away from you. Most of my other stories will be in third-person-omniscient because you need more information than the main character knows or thinks about. That'd get kind of boring, no?
I want to talk a little about some of my chapters…so if you're kind of confused, this is a good place for you to skip around. I'm really sorry I couldn't be more clear, but like I said, that's one of the bummers of first person; it doesn't work out that way!
PROLOGUE: Yeah, so as you can tell, I wrote the prologue with a different kind of story in mind. I was thinking of the dark side of the moon in a more general matter instead of directed towards love and whatnot, but that's obviously the direction it fell in after I got caught up with our mystery man Chase. One of my possible endings was actually having him be a murderer and the phrase, "the dark side of the moon," being his death phrase. Kind of like an urban legend or something, but then I turned it into love instead of mass murdering…I apologize if you were looking forward to more of a philosophical story that didn't get all mushy on you, but it kind of strayed.
CHAPTER ONE: This chapter was pretty straight-forward, but it's not extremely good writing because I wasn't quite sure what things I wanted to point out since I wasn't quite sure where I was taking the story. I had some people sketched out, but I wasn't sure of relations and whatnot towards Jess. Oh, and J-T was supposed to be like Jess-Tyler action, but it was kind of weird…
CHAPTER TWO: Okay, this one was just odd because she's incredibly obsessed with this guy she just met, right? I tried to reason that out in her diary entries and make her fight with herself. I know the crying is kind of absurd, but the tears throughout the story are much more forced and most of the time they're taken lighter. When Jess's hurt she usually has much more harsh physical problems like the burning and tearing inside? I tried to use the glass exploding analogy later on, but I'm not sure how will I got across that she cries a lot so it doesn't mean she's going to die or anything.
CHAPTER THREE: I tried to bring in some of Jess's history and whatnot into this mixed up first-love concoction. These first few chapters were kind of rushed, so I apologize for awkwardness and confusion!
CHAPTER FOUR: This was just a funky twist I wanted to set in to mix up the pot a little more, give a picture of what a "normal" high school relationship is like for Jess and give some comparison for later on when she gets with Chase…uhoh, did I give away the ending? *gasps* I tried to give her some basis by talking about how he made her think of the sun, which is just an analogy for something the universe centers on when the world's first impression was that the Earth was the center.
CHAPTER FIVE: More controversy between Jess choosing between AJ and Chase. The end was just more tension…pretty easy to understand.
CHAPTER SIX: This chapter was just two heart breakers in a row. This is also when I finally plotted out the rest of the story…which is probably why I decided to break so many things at the same time. Otherwise, this story might be even longer! Apologies if I freaked you out with way too much heavy stuff, but it was necessary for the story's effect.
CHAPTER SEVEN: I was trying to take Jess away from Chase-thoughts because those were getting a little thick. I wanted to show that she could still feel, even though she didn't notice, and not be thinking of Chase. I'm not sure if you caught this chapter and realized the significance, but later on Chuck brings it up and makes her see it for herself and she feels a lot more independent and a lot better, though it doesn't really cure her of this "obsession" with Chase.
CHAPTER EIGHT: I started getting really annoyed that I had never brought up any sufficient information since Jess always wanted to avoid things (I made her kind of wimpy and like a stereotypical girl…apologies), so I thought that she may as well have these incredible dreams that were of things she had been through and things that troubled her. A lot of them were also answers to questions I wanted both you and her to see.
CHAPTER NINE: Like I said earlier, I wanted to make sure you understood the difference between real pain and Jess being wimpy. The fainting was for emphasis that this is something big, something that hurts her incredibly. There was just way too much for her to handle and then there's a dream, which just piles on more so she wakes up emotionally drained…and then there's Chase to blur her judgment.
CHAPTER TEN: This was just another plot twist.
CHAPTER ELEVEN: I was playing with human natures here—Jess is one of those sucky characters who cries a lot because she has no reason to keep it in. She needs, she wants, and she leans on people incredibly easily and without needing to be pushed so hard. Then there's Alana, who's greedy. The contrast between those who need but choose to give and then those who want and don't give up.
CHAPTER TWELVE: More pain, but more revelation. Brings up the question of whether true love is better than true friendship.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN: This is pretty much Jess being confused with what love is and how it feels. I scattered diary entries to show time passing and then took the instances that meant the most (dreams, special moments) and wrote them at present so you could get more of a feel.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN: Another twist and this is where I started trying to figure out if Jak would like her or not in more than a friendly manner. Yes, at the moment he likes Alana the most, but it's *like* and not *love* so in this case, his little crush can end and could like her. I wasn't sure…
CHAPTER FIFTEEN: I think this was one of my most powerful chapters (at least I tried to make it that way) because she starts to think she hates Chase. I mean, it's like a hate because you love them so much and can't think of anything else. Then of course there's her brother and then there's a jumble of other things. Another throwing together of a whole bunch of painful stuff.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN: Another realization chapter!
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN: I had to bring in Kaili because I wanted to show what Jess's family life is like. Yes, I promised one of my friend's that she would have a nice life and she would just think way too much, but that kind of changed after Chuck got cancer…so Kaili's sister is kind of the prep of the family, though they're all pretty much unnaturally attractive people, and she is representation of denial of the truth. In this case, it's not trying to deny love, it's trying to deny not loving someone. Oh yeah, and more "I love you"s. If you're getting annoyed with them at this point, that's good because that's how it's meant to be.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN: Major breaking point for Jess because her brother passes away and Chase isn't there to keep his promise. This chapter was kind of for the impact of the letter. No, no, I didn't kill her brother to make him write a letter, I had that planned, but the letter is the key focus of this chapter because of what it has to say about the dark side of the moon. Again, Jess's heart is "broken."
CHAPTER NINETEEN: This chapter was mainly to point out different levels of love: brothers, friends, and then I guess boyfriends.
CHAPTER TWENTY: Basically time pass chapter. I'm sure I could've made it longer and talked more specifically about her college life and whatever (Proms and whatnot) but there was really no point since the whole story is emphasizing the only thing she thought about: Chase.
CHAPTER TWENTY ONE: College life, re-entrance of Chase, broken heart, mended heart, drunken love, admittance. That is pretty much the chapter and the point.
CHAPTER TWENTY TWO: This was pretty much myself revisiting things that I had kind of left out for a really long time (Jak and Ty mostly) and wanted to bring back. This is also the beginning of a "cure" for Jess which she desperately needs.
CHAPTER TWENTY THREE: I thought it'd be interesting and evil (I'm always evil to my characters. ALWAYS. Even in romances.) to have Jess bump into Chase again even after sixteen years! I picked a teaching profession because she's always wanted to help people understand emotions, but she thinks children are where to start. Heh, and my evilness shines through as I torture her with Chase some more.
CHAPTER TWENTY FOUR: The final chapter and the wrap up of the whole story. This is where she looks back on her life and contemplates the things she's learned. This is pretty much me lecturing on and on some important pointers I wanted to extend and didn't get to. If the chapter sounds choppy and confused, that's how it's meant to be—it's the express the way people gradually have shorter attention spans as they age.
EPILOGUE: These were the last words of Jess that I thought were…powerful? I guess. I'm really sorry if I didn't do a good job…
Yup, and this is the last cementation of the story that took about…two months to write! Yeah, this was one of my faster and not so well written stories. Thanks again for bearing with me and not killing me for writing something so long and tortuous. The next novel…if you can bear another excessively long story…is "Touched By An Angel," which has some similar characters, but then again, all of my character's have the worst lives…and this one has murder instead of love.
THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!