BITTERSWEET

By: Painful Innocence

AN: Okay, incase you didn't read the whole summary... this has INCEST in it, and if you don't know what it means, go to www.dictionary.com and look it up. And it has light yaoi. If you don't know what yaoi is... DO NOT READ THIS! And, oh yes, I own everything in this story! EVERYTHING! _;; Even the little phrases after each chapter title! YES! I MADE THEM UP ON MY OWN! *waves little flag* You use any of my ideas/phrases without asking (if you ask I'll let you...maybe!), I'll hunt you down and beat you into the ground with a big BANANA LEAF! *tic* ...Thank you. +PI

Since his parent's death, Arekku had been living with a stranger-his brother he never knew. And no matter how long they've been apart, they're still brothers, and they care for each other. But neither knew brotherly love could go so far/INCEST/YAOI.

~*~

Chapter 1 :: For Wilting Roses

-Every time your roses die, I will die a little death for you-

From his spot on the stairs, legs hanging over the other side through the beams and under the banister, Arekku saw the strangers – all in black – that had been at the funeral say some more of their sad and sorry words to his grandmother and uncle. His grandmother had tears in her eyes; his uncle looked forlorn and tired. Most of them had said their respects to him, Arekku, and he was glad. All their words had made him miss his parents even more, and there were only so many times he could cry in one setting before he ran out of tears!

He stayed there for a while, looking down at the floor beneath him and swinging his feet lazily, and he guessed it had been a long while, because when he looked back up most people were gone.. His grandmother, uncle, and another man who hadn't said anything Arekku were making there way toward him. The elderly woman and his father's brother sat on either side of him on the stairs, leaving the man to stand in front of him a bit uncomfortably.

"Arekku Togiyachi I'm presuming," he said, and the boy looked up at him and nodded slowly. The man had dark brown hair a bit longer than most people, just long enough to make a ponytail; and his eyes were the same color if not a few shades darker. He shifted, looking a bit flustered, and outstretched a hand. Arekku took it, letting him lift his hand limply up and down – like a rag doll's limb. "I...I'm sorry for your loss, Arekku...and...well..." He looked around the room, then produced a bouquet of yellow roses from behind his back. "I brought these...for you. I don't think yellow flowers depict sadness and loneliness, but I did think...you might...appreciate them a little..." Smiled then, but it didn't reach his saddened eyes.

Arekku took the flowers with slow, shaking hands, and gripped them to his chest. "...thank you," you said numbly after his grandmother poked him. "A-Arigatou..."

That seemed to give the boy a bit of confidence. "Well then, if there's anything you need help with other than me—"

"There's nothing," said Arekku sharply. He looked away, feeling tears come to his eyes. "There's nothing you can do to help," he said angrily and wiping his tears away. Boys shouldn't cry – much less 18-year-old ones...even if he looked like he was 14! "Leave me alone."

The man looked up at the grandmother, as if asking for help, and a wrinkled hand placed itself on Arekku's shoulder, squeezing it. "This young man is going to house you from now on," she said softly. "I want you to pay close attention to what he says."

"But I thought you were going to!" he said suddenly, looking at his uncle. "You're the person my parents said I'd stay with if anything happened to them!" He looked at the man before him. "I don't even know you – why am I going to be staying with you? This isn't what otou-san and okaa-san wanted at all!" His ocean-blue eyes glittered and trembled with tears, and he wiped them away with his sleeve.

"Actually, you're wrong about that, Arekku..." said the man suddenly. Arekku looked up at him, his eyes wide and wondering but his jaw clenched in anger. He wanted to ask "How would you know? You don't know my parents – you weren't their kid!" or something, and hit him, but he couldn't will his legs or mouth to move. There was an uneasy silence, which the stranger broke. "Arekku.." he said, a sigh mixing with his voice. He pulled up a chair, and sat down in front of the boy – though the 18-year-old youth was still taller than him, seeing as he was sitting on the stairs. "This is going to become a shock to you, and—"

"Otou-san and okaa-san's death was a surprise to me," Arekku said numbly. Looked back at the man fiercely, though most of the angry glint in his eye was washed away by his tears falling down his sharp cheekbones. "Nothing else can be worse."

"I didn't say it was bad," said the man quickly. "Arekku, my name is Asuka Togiyachi.." He took a deep breath, and continued before Arekku could even blink or say something about him having the same last name as he did. "...I'm you're older brother." The man's hand that had been gripped together suddenly came apart, falling to his sides, as if he were revealing himself naked. There was an almost shameful look on his face, as if he were trying not to apologize.

Arekku looked at him, his emotions unreadable. "What...?" he asked, his voice so tiny it was lost amongst his uncle and grandmother's breathing – and the lack of the man's – Asuka's. But Asuka could read his lips, and he nodded slowly.

"I'm your...'long-lost'—" he made quotation marks with his fingers at that—"brother, Asuka Togiyachi. Otou-san and okaa-san just didn't tell you...you were too young to understand why I had to leave..."

Arekku looked around his house, not wanting to look at this stranger who claimed to be his older brother. Saw the pictures of him and his mother and father everywhere, candles surrounding each of them. In the presumed shock, his tears had been forgotten, the last of them drying on his eyelashes and the pools of his cheekbones. He had lost weight with the loss of his parents – it was his way of silently suffering.

Suddenly, the room seemed to be captured in a kaleidoscope – colors among colors exploded in front of his eyes in clips of shattered glass, and then it all started merging together from the edges that were turning a dark purple-black. It all seemed to soften, like a vignette around a painting. He reached for his temple, to rub it to get rid of the sudden headache he had come across that seemed to split his head open, but a firm grip kept his hand away from him. It was his uncle's hand, that was for sure – he could recognize the scar down the index finger gotten from a carpentry accident.

"Arekku?" That was his grandmother, and he could feel her elderly hands feeling his forehead, cheeks, and neck. "Arekku...-an? Are...all right? Come...say.." Her hands slapped his cheeks then, and he moaned. Her voice sounded like it was coming from a long, cardboard tube like the ones paper-towels wrapped around. Most of it got lost among the way; he couldn't' decipher what she was asking...

~*~

"Oh Asuka, take him!" cried the grandmother, as Arekku began to fall forward onto his knees from the stairs. His older brother caught the boy's chest in his arms, and pulled him gently out of the nook of the stairwell. Gods, he was light. 18 years old? From pictures he had seen before their parents' death, he had always been skinny like the rest of their family. But this was frighteningly different from just being genes – he looked like a 12-year-old!

Asuka let his fingers fall over his brother's wrists and neck, almost like a caress, but he was looking for a pulse. He found one – surprisingly not hard because his heart was beating so fast. Lifted the boy's eyelids, glancing quickly at the upturned orbs beneath before letting them fall back down. "He fainted," he said. "He'll wake up in a few hours, but he'll be fine." It paid to be a nurse's best friend sometimes!

His grandmother, on the verge of more sobbing, breathed a sigh of relief. Their uncle held her tightly, telling his mother not to worry (Yeah...uncle = grandmother's child!). "Good," he said. "Asuka, you might as well take him. He's arrogant when he doesn't like something, and there most likely won't be another chance near this time period."

Asuka laughed at his uncle's feeble attempt at a joke, and nodded. "All right..." Looked once more over the limp, almost-anorexic form of his younger brother. "Is he...not eating?" he asked carefully.

His grandmother shook her head fervently. "No no! He eats, Asuka-dear; don't worry. He just lost a bit of weight from moping around all the time; and he wasn't that big to begin with, so..." She smiled a bit, and brushed Asuka's hair from his eyes, doing the same to Arekku. "So get going," she said, kissing both of the boys on their foreheads. "We'll drop by to visit tomorrow or the next day at your apartment. 68XX Mamotte Ageru, ora?"

Asuka nodded. "Hai..." He turned to leave, stopping once to kiss each of his parents' coffin and then continued his trek to the door. He was about to step outside when his grandmother stopped him.

"Nani, 'jiji-bijin?" he asked, smiling and tilting his head. Shifted his shoulders to get a better grip on the boy so he wouldn't hit his head on the doorway.

His grandmother was holding the bouquet of yellow roses. "You gave these to him, remember?" she said.

"Ah," said Asuka, nodding. He took them, holding them limply in his hand. "Arigatou, 'jiji." Then he stepped outside and to his car. Laid Arekku in the backseat carefully, then settled himself in the front seat before driving away.

~*~

Arekku woke up with a start, his forehead creased and dotted with sweat. His jaw hurt from clenching it in his fitful, but dreamless, sleep, and he rubbed it thoughtfully as he looked around, not recognizing where he was. "Where...am I?" he mumbled to himself. He was clearly in a bed, stationed in a small room that was quite clean – everything either in its proper place or stacked neatly against the wall. But he glanced at the floor, finding a few business suits, t-shirts, and a black suit-jacket, and realized it was a man's room. And he was in an apartment or flat of sorts, by the look of how small the place seemed to be. But whose was it? He remembered the room at his grandmother's house swirling like a vortex, and the splitting headache, but nothing else. And it wasn't the elderly woman's house, that was for sure. Hers was a mansion compared to this place.

Arekku shifted in the bed, his legs hanging down the side, and slowly eased himself on the floor. Wandered around the room for a bit before he peeked out of the doorway. It led to a small hallway, a closet storing the air-conditioner and such on his right, and the bathroom at his left. The corridor was 7 feet at best length, then led to a small kitchen that was basically an opening at the left holding small counter space, a microwave, toaster, coffee machine, a few cabinets, stove (but no oven), and a refrigerator. It had an opening next to the fridge and behind the stove, overlooking the living room that led to the front-door; it was the biggest area of the whole apartment, holding a couch, an easy chair (with two folded blankets and a pillow lying on it), a coffee table, and a side-table with a TV sitting on it. Plenty of empty space in between each item of furniture.

And the carpet felt wonderful beneath his toes, which was pretty stupid seeing as he didn't know where the hell he was, and he stood there for a moment just feeling the plush carpet run in between his toes. It was then he realized that he had bare-feet, and no shirt on besides the tank-top-ish shirt he wore underneath. He hadn't seen his shoes, shirt, and jacket in the bedroom – the jacket that had been there was much too big for him; easy to tell since he wore sizes girls that had not yet hit puberty would find fitting.

Looked around again, and his eyebrows creased together in worry. He remembered that Asuka guy, claiming to be his brother, and his grandmother telling him he would be living with him. Once again he wondered where he was aloud. That was when the front door opened, after a few jiggles of the handle, and said "Asuka-guy" entered holding a load of clothes. He could see his "lost clothes" on top.

"You're awake!" said Asuka, dropping the basket on the coffee table and walking over to him. Arekku took a step back, and his 'brother' stopped. "I'm not going to hurt you," he said. "You don't know me, and I hardly know anything about you, Arekku, and that's reasonable to be...scared?...of me. But I'm your brother  - I'm not going to hurt you."

"You're not my brother," Arekku said. "And if you are, prove it. What was okaa-san's first married name?" Only immediate family knew she had been married twice; her first husband having died.

"Yoshinari," said Asuka. "See? I know. Gods, Arekku, you don't have to believe I'm you're brother right now but at least know I'm not going to hurt you." He stepped towards him again, and the younger boy didn't move away. Finally his hands reached him, and he looked over his head for a moment, then felt for a fever. Sighed. "Well, you're not sick as far as I can tell...not going to school tomorrow, though; that's for sure." Backed away, and entered the kitchen. "You've got to eat something, but I've got limited food-groups," he said, and reached into the refrigerator. "Pasta okay? That's the only thing I have that doesn't take more than thirty minutes to make."

Arekku wanted to say 'Didn't your parents ever teach you how to cook?', but didn't. Either it was because it made him miss his parents (or theirs?), or because he was starting to believe that Asuka *was* his older brother. "It's fine," he said. He picked a blanket from the chair and curled up in it on the couch. "I need clothes. Warm ones," he said idly.

"Yeah, I know. Ojiji is bringing them tomorrow." He was pouring the noodles in a pot of boiling water. "But you can't wear that to bed.." He left to disappear in his room for a moment before coming back holding athletic pants and a long-sleeved shirt. "They're going to be too big for you, obviously, but you'll have to make do." He turned then, and watched over the food. "You can change in my room or the bathroom. I'm presuming you've seen where they are."

Arekku nodded, and disappeared into the bathroom. He didn't dress right away though. He wanted to snoop around, see if he could find anything that would prove the Asuka-guy wasn't his older brother, but otou-san and okaa-san always told him not to look in other peoples' medicine cabinets – or they'd fall. So he didn't want to do that. As far as he knew, he was going to be staying with this guy, but since he *was* practically a stranger, he didn't know how'd he react to an 18-year-old's snooping.

Arekku seated himself on the toilet seat, his head cradled in his hands. He sat there, thinking back on any clues his parents would've gave him that he had an older brother. Well, other than the fact that it was only until recently that they said he might not be able to stay with his uncle if something had happened to them. But then, he was a senior in highschool, he hadn't planned on worrying about that. They had a trust-fund built up for him, everything he had needed for schooling had been sent – a private academy, that a friend of theirs headed. His grandmother lived near it, so that would work for a while until he found an apartment...or something..

That then led Arekku to thinking about how small the apartment was, which led to his "brother", and then the roses he gave him. He remembered seeing them in the kitchen – lying on the counter behind the toaster.

The boy must've been in there for a while, because Asuka knocked at the door suddenly. "You okay in there, Arekku?" he asked. "The pasta's done."

"Huh? Oh, I'm fine. Had to go to the bathroom," Arekku said quickly. Flushed the toilet to reinforce it. "I'll be out in a minute..." He dressed fast, and stepped out. Asuka was already eating at the coffee table, having pushed the laundry basket over towards the door. Another plate was set across from him, a pillow on the floor to represent a chair or something. Arekku took it, walking in slowly however; his eyes were drawn to something yellow lying on the counter that overlooked the living room from the kitchen. They were the roses that he had given him.

He looked back at Asuka, who was smiling at him from behind his spoon – not because he had done something that amused him, like Arekku first thought, but because he was just...happy, he guessed. Happy Arekku was there with him, possibly.

"I...er...arigatou..." Arekku said softly, reaching for his spoon. "For the food, and the housing I guess...and the flowers." A thin hand pointed the vase. "I'm guessing those are mine.."

"Yeah," said Asuka, nodding. "They are. And it's no problem." Grinned again, and kept eating.

Arekku smiled also, faintly, and took a bite.

~*~

AN: My GOD, if you can't tell this'll be incest in a few chapters, I feel sorry for your oblivious-ness! *hands you a plushie* Have fun sucking your thumb! XD But anyway, didja guys like it? If not,I've another incest fanfic you'd like! XD It's by LanLan, and it's called "Aniki's Star". READ IT! NOW!!! Find it @

Yep.