Rap Intellectualized: MC Hammer "U Can't Touch This"
~~~~

You shall not come into contact with this
You shall not come into contact with this
You shall not come into contact with this
You shall not come into contact with this

My, my, my, my compositions hit me with such force
That I must exclaim to my savior "Lord, I thank you for the blessings you
have bestowed upon me
Such as my intellect which searches out rhymes and my dual feet which are
good at dancing"
It is a pleasurable sensation
When you understand that you have reaped upon yourself
The reputation as a popular man from Oakland, California
Well, I say that I am recognized as such
And this is a rhythm
You shall not come into contact with this

I have previously explained it to you, my friend
You shall not come into contact with this
Affirmative, this is our lifestyle, and now you are acquainted with the
fact that
You shall not come into contact with this
Gaze into my eyes, sir
You shall not come into contact with this
Excuse me, allow me to cry out likeable verses
You shall not come into contact with this

With new foot apparel and pantaloons
You acquired it as such and now you realize that you wish to dance
So arise from your present seating
Find a beautiful woman and dance to this song
While it still resounds
Pardon me for a minute
Gyrate for a second to allow them to realize that you are, indeed, funky
Much the same
Much the same
Your recent attempts failed, so retreat
Give the impression that they were not good enough for your rhythmic
movements
And that this is a melody
That they are not permitted to handle

Excuse me, for I have already made it known unto you
You shall not come into contact with this
Why do you remain in this place, sir of small stature?
You shall not come into contact with this
Let the alarms ring out, the time to educate is now, simpleton
You shall not come into contact with this
Provide me either a song or a melody
Which people may perspire whilst dancing to
And I will say that this is what I bestow to them
So that they currently understand
When you speak of me, you speak of a performance
That is equally well talked-of as it is well-presented
Other vocalists are nervously perspiring so hand them a towel
Or a cassette to ascertain
The measures one must take in this decade of the 1990's
To set the billboards ablaze
Legitimate, so either better yourself relentlessly or give up

That is the current buzzword, so now I believe that you understand that
You shall not come into contact with this
You shall not come into contact with this

Fracture it downwards

Halt---- Time for hammering

Do what others are doing at present
For it has been decreed
If you find you are unable to harmonize with this
Then it is likely that you are deceased
So gesticulate your limbs in midair
Demonstrate some popular dance moves, thrust your digits through your
tresses
This song was meant to be played during the colder months of the year
Dance alongside this and you shall shed pounds
Be in motion, drop your buttocks
If only for a brief period, let us all partake in a walloping motion
Wallop, wallop, wallop

Yes, you shall not come into contact with this
See my point of view sir, you shall not come into contact with this
I advise that you attempt to make a name for yourself
For young man, you are aware that you are unable to
You shall not come into contact with this
Sound the alarms a second time, the education has restarted
Fracture it downwards

Halt---- Time for hammering

You shall not come into contact with this
You shall not come into contact with this
You shall not come into contact with this
You shall not come into contact with this
Fracture it downwards

Halt---- Time for hammering

All the times that you notice me
I am so well talked-of
I possess above-average dancing skills
And I am enchanting on the microphone
Is there a single reason for me to conceivably
Discontinue this line of work?
There are others who churn out meaningless albums
Which just do not possess the same soul
I have traveled around the globe
Every from London to San Francisco
And every where, my fans shout "It is Mr. Hammer! Stretch, Mr. Hammer! MC
Hammer! How do you fare, Mr. Hammer?"
And then I realize that others can simply be flippant
For they may not handle this

You shall not come into contact with this
You shall not come into contact with this
You shall not come into contact with this
Ay, you shall not come into contact with this
I have made it known to you, you shall not come into contact with this
I am too well known for you to handle this
Pardon us, for we will now take our leave, you shall not come into contact
with this