Life is hard.
It's cruel and unusual punishment for people who are kind or trusting or even truthful. Because no one thinks the same way. Kind people get stepped on, as do the trusting. And truthful people are left to shut their mouths and hide in shadow because no one wants to hear the truth for the most part.
I've held my tongue on many occasions because if I told the truth, I'd lose friends. Having a shallow friend is the worst, though. They want complements and, when hanging out at the mall with you, they expect the good looking males to all flock to them. At first it's hard to sit there and be quiet, but after awhile it gets easier.
Don't get me wrong. I don't expect the men to flock to me either. I've never considered myself very pretty or anything special. I've only known that someday I'd have some kind of purpose. And, most likely, I thought it would be some starving artist who died lonely and poor. I never really thought that my body was very appealing to the opposite sex when there were so many other girls out there who looked like super models.
Sometimes I was told that I had a nice hourglass figure, good child bearing hips, and a nice rack, which was put out very plainly by a stuck up jock who then tried to grope me. Boy did he learn something. I may be quiet but if I'm touched in a way that I don't feel comfortable with I'll make sure that that particular male will walk funny for the rest of his life.
Freshman year of high school was pretty uneventful. I was still the class artist with the top artistic competitors as one of my friends and the other a jokester boy with artistic skill. I didn't really like either of them but I could deal. No one really noticed me; I was just not there to them. I wasn't even placed in any grouping. I was not considered a part of the Goths, not the preps (defiantly not them), not the losers and definitely not the whores.
I was simply not there.
This was good in most cases because I'm sure I wouldn't have fit in no matter what group I was placed in. Wanna know why? Because not only did I feel detached from everyone but for some reason I just felt different. It was like there was something else that I was part of but didn't fully realize. But that's a whole other story.
Sophomore year was okay. I drifted among different groups, hearing what they had to say about others but I didn't get much attention. That's probably why they spoke so openly around me. I connected from time to time with some girls but for some reason I couldn't form a lasting bond. It was like I was in Middle school again, after my mothers death, sitting in class wishing everyone would just leave me alone. My wish came true. Since that time people have left me alone. Very alone.
Now I could ramble on and on about how bad my life is, and who I have an utter loathing for, or anything else. Instead I'm gonna skip to the chase. My high school life took a drastic change in about the span of a week. It was fun…really I'm not lying. Just ignore the sarcastic tone in my voice.
I really wished during those days that I could have been a witch and cursed them all. I was at my breaking point, but as I said before, the truth hurts.
I found out for the second time in my life, aside from my mothers death, that life can throw a killer curve ball.
And I mean that almost literally.