This is a small part of my testimony; for the full thing, check out "I'll Never Be As Good As You."


I sat on a hilltop, which directly overlooked the sea. The sky was a gorgeous blue, and it got darker as it met the sea. The only clouds around were small and white, and flecked across the sky as though someone had switched on the electric fan and blown them all apart from each other. All weekend I had been angry, sad. So much of it I had spent crying out for God, in tears on the floor... and found nothing. But now something else was happening altogether. I had asked God again and again in the space of two days to reveal himself to me. And now He had. In the huge, sweeping beach with golden sand, in the wide ocean, which stretched as far as my eyes could see, and in the perfect sky- the first time that weekend it hadn't been raining. I saw everything He had created, and I knew that He had made it all for me, regardless of my sins, regardless of my shame and self-hatred. I was so overwhelmed, all I could do was silently thank Him, again and again inside my head, as I looked in awe at everything He had made.

Sometimes we tend to take things for granted, but we have to remember that God doesn't work in the same way that we do. Sometimes when we want a clear answer or a clear sign, He will give us one- but we have to stop and listen, stop and think, before we can really see it. It is only when we are willing to put God first that He will reveal Himself to us.