Title: Loss

Author: Spaz Kusho

Genre: Angst

Rating: PG

Summary: It's when you lose something that you think isn't worth that much, that's when you know how much it really meant to you. Two girls cope with a family tragedy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The house was quiet and nothing stirred. My sister was asleep in her room after a long exhausting day in the sun. I sat on my parents' bed, clutching the phone. I faced the window, where the curtains were still open. The sun had just set and everything in the room was dark, tinted in only dark blue, gray, and black. The phone beeped constantly, still left on from the call I had earlier. Tears rolled down my cheeks, as I thought about what to say to my little sister when she woke up. My mind scattered around, imagining what's to come now, then thinking what I could've done.

During the arguments we've had, I've never had one single pang of regret of what I said. But now, all I feel is repentance. I wished that I could go back in time to change everything, to show them that I really cared. I've never felt the need to apologize, until now, when it's all too late. They're gone now, gone for good. I remembered the last words I said to them before they left for their trip. "I hope you never come back." I've said those exact words to them many times, but I never thought it would actually come true. Somehow, I feel responsible for what's happened, and the guilt in me seems like it would never go away.

"What are you doing in mommy and daddy's room?" my sister asked, her silhouette standing in the doorway.

I wiped my tears away and smiled weakly. "Come here and sit down." I turned the phone off and set it beside me.

My seven-year old sister rubbed her eye and climbed up on the bed, next to me. "Why were you crying? I thought you were a big girl, like mommy said." I chuckled, wiping some more tears off my face.

There was silence between us as we sat there in the dark. I continued thinking how I would go about telling her the tragic news. I ran my hand through my hair, shaking my head, as nothing came to mind. She would figure it out someday anyway, I thought.

"Remember when mom and dad said that they would be back in two days from their business trip?" My sister nodded in return. "Well, they may not be back for a while, a long while." My eyes saddened and I could feel the tears forcing their way out.

"Why? Do they have a lot more work to do over there?"

I looked at her, and sighed. "There was an accident."

"Are they okay?"

"No, they're not," I whispered. "Their car got hit by a truck. The driver was drunk. The hospital called a few minutes ago saying that they died instantly."

My sister sat there, motionless. She looked up at me, dazed and confused. "Died?"

I nodded. "Yes, died. Do you know what that means?"

"Goneā€¦forever?" I saw the outline of her face and glimmer of tears.

"Mm-hmm. Gone forever and never to come back," I whispered again.

I heard my sister sob, quietly, as I embraced her in a hug. I was just as helpless as her, not knowing what to do or say. We both sat there, grieving for the loss of our parents. In my mind, I thought over again, the fact that my parents left thinking I hated them, but inside, I really did care. I just wish I could've told them that before it was too late.