A/N: *name has been changed to prevent scary stalker people My friend sam & I wrote this about our sub one day. its not well written but its kinda funny considering we made it all up & my step-dad is getting a new computer so I needed somewhere to save it! Enjoy!

Mr. Devin Baccon*
He's a science substitute on 2-26 for Mr. Salsa*. He was randomly chosen off the street when the real sub couldn't make it. Although he did go to college, it was only his football skills that kept him there finically. Also he had to cheat just to get Ds.
Since he is reading a book on the history of Spain, we figured out that he just recently got married to a Spanish woman. They are planning to visit her family as part of their honeymoon. He has decided to research Spain & learn Spanish to impress her parents.
Before he got married though, he lived with his mother and she bought all his clothes. This is why he is wearing really ugly shoes with buckles. Now that he isn't living with his mother he has a problem getting dressed. He can't fix his collar. Also his mother bought a backpack for her baby boy & he carries it around to remind him of his mother's love. ::tear::
In high school he was a jock. He played baseball among other sports. While playing baseball he became addicted to chewing tobacco. Because he can't spit it out in school he carries a water bottle to rinse out the taste. He has to be very careful because if his mother found out she'd kill him.
Another thing his mother passed on to him is her knack for neatness. Even though its Mr. Somers's desk, he is rearranging the papers neatly. Also he doesn't like chaos because he keeps telling us to be quiet. But this neatness causes problems at home because his wife is messy and loud. Just goes to prove opposites attract.
Since he was randomly picked off the street he's very nervous that he might blow his cover. He is fidgeting with a pen. Hiding in his book is a sign of sneakiness. Another nervous habit he has is that he is jiggling his leg a lot. Because he's never dealt with kids in a class he reads and thinks a lot. He stares out into space trying to escape the awful noise of children.
We feel bad for his mother because no matter how hard she tried to raise her youngest son to be perfect, he is rude. He chews his gum very obviously to the poor students who can't have gum. His eyes seem to be mocking all the kids with braces because they can't eat gum. Smirking meanly seems to be the only facial expression he shows. When he yawns he flexes his muscles as to say I can beat the crap out of all you measly kids.
Untrusting he talks only to himself. He will only nod at you and occasionally yell. Normally he (literally) talks to himself. This is because he is the only person he can really trust.
Uh oh... he heard me laughing to loudly. He's on to us. He's coming our way. NO! But before he can get the papers the bell rings and we dash out of the classroom saving our story and us.