Written during one of my 2 major breakdowns. i don't know what to think of it...

doom, gloom, hatred, guilt
that's all i've ever known
that and childhood naivety
i was sick of trying to be happy
when none of it's for me
recently i began to smile
realized what this life was all about
found someone to love
someone to trust
and someone to joke around
but they've yanked it all out from under me
i don't know what to believe
i wanna run to my friends
i wanna be happy
there's nothing left for me now
and my wounds won't stop bleeding
can't even make myself believe
that it's all a dream
i've cried myself to sleep lately
wondered if i'd be missed
guess i'll find out now
they've decided i have to be shipped
maybe it is all my fault
i can't do anything right
i can't control my temper
maybe i start the fights
i don't mean to hurt anyone
even though i don't love a one
but you know what?
they don't really care
just want something to bitch about
and try to make my life a living hell
well, this is it.
put an end to the trying.
i guess i'll just go kill myself
put an end to the crying
it'll all be okay
and i won't have to feel
this life was just one big pain
now it's time for it to end.

shattered snow