Magic

If I say I am a fool
yes, a fool to feel this way
will the magic make the feelings
go away?

If I say that this is stupid
and I'm cowardly and weak
can that be an incantation
to ward off the black beast?

You say to me
a pill might set me free
but pills fix when there's nothing wrong.
You say to me
"have you considered therapy?"
but that's for when there's something wrong.
There's something that is nothing wrong
No child abuse, no twist of chemistry,
no beatings
or cancer
nothing that matters.
There's people in this world whose suffering is real
and I'm just a little whiner
and I don't deserve to feel

All I really need is sleep.
All I cannot have is sleep.
All I want to do is sleep
and sleep and sleep and sleep and sleep

You tell me that you love me
I know that it is true
And you say you want to help me
And I'd never disbelieve you
And you say you're going to fix it
And it's going to happen soon--
But I've learned that soon means never
So it doesn't help my mood

the universe is out to get me
two steps forward three steps back
and it never will get better
ever ever ever ever

But I cannot be a coward
or a weakling or a fool
And I cannot be a whiner
Or a juvenile drama queen
This thing I feel is trivial
There's nothing wrong with me
And if I tell that to myself
I might start to believe
If I tell myself I'm foolish
to grieve such a little thing
such a stupid thing to to cry for
and I've everything to live for
And I repeat it like a mantra
things are slowly getting better
I just need to wait and see
If I tell myself I won't be weak and let the black beast swallow me

then maybe I won't wrap my car around a tree