~Tears of a Memory

Chapter 1~

December, the crisp cold month of so called "happiness". The children and adults all bear happy smiles. Is it because of this soft falling snow? Possibly.it's more likely because Christmas is coming. Yes, Christmas IS coming.but the thought of it makes me sick to my stomach. Christmas, the worst time of every god-forsaken year. I suppose it could be all because 3 years ago on my thirteenth year, Christmas day.I was raped. I lost my precious virginity to a complete stranger who just happened to be "in the mood". Ever since that day I've never been really able to trust a man. That's all they think about anyway.getting some "action" from the female side of life.

I've never been able to feel like everything would be ok. Whenever I see a "happy couple" I start crying. Normally the come up to me to see if everything is ok. If the guy ever touches me in any way.just on the shoulder I end up hurting them.what is wrong with me?

I've never told anyone about my rape. Maybe I'm just too scared to say a thing. Or I'm just too afraid of what people will think of me or say about me. Its not like I forgot his face. Who could? I was 13.how could I forget? A scared lil girl never forgets anything such as that. I've learned not to fight the nightly visions of his face in my dreams.even if I do wake up screaming and crying. I know that they wont go away.

I look at all the people passing by.they all smile because they've never seen the dark side of the light. In the light there will always be darkness, but they choose not to see it, so they live their lives as if nothing is wrong. But, if you cut to the point, everything is wrong.

"Well, I better head home now." I said to myself aloud. I had been walking around in the snow for hours.just thinking.I just wanted to be alone.

As I turned around to go home I ran into someone. I fell backwards on my butt into the snow. "Aye aye.. its cold!" I leaned forward to roll out of the snow when a hand came towards my face. I looked up at who was coming to my aid. It was a man. His dark hair all spiky but still covering his eyes a lil bit. His jacket was black and gray and he had a dark colored shirt underneath. I couldn't tell what color it was because his jacket covered most of it. He also wore a pair of jeans and some black converse. He looked right into my face with his green eyes and asked me if I was ok. I went to push him away like I had done with every other man but, I slipped. I fell forward and he caught me.

"You should be more careful." he started. "There's ice here." He helped me to my feet and wiped me off a bit. "Ok, there. Your ok now." He smiled at me and started turning around to leave, when I collapsed. My ankle had given out. 'I must have hurt it when I slipped on the ice.' I thought. He must have heard me fall because he came back.

"You clumsy lil girl." he said to me. "You must have hurt yourself on the ice."

I thought to myself about what a sarcastic genius he was. He picked me up off of the icy snow.

"Where do you live?" he asked me calmly. "I guess I could carry you home."

I looked right into his face and cried. It wasn't that my ankle was throbbing, actually it was almost as if the pain was gone. He stood in the snow, holding me while I cried as passerbies were looking at us, but I didn't care. It felt strange to me though. Not once did he put me down. After the beating I had given him, he didn't put me down. He told me that I should be moving because of my ankle. I questioned the fact that maybe that wasn't his intension, that he probably wanted to get into my pants. He walked around for a while holding me until I gave into him. I gave him my address and he carried me all the way home.

He opened my door and walked in. He took off his shoes so as to not get the floor dirty. I showed him when the living room was. He walked there and set me down on the couch.

"Wait here." He said. "I'm going to go get you some ice." The kitchen was next to our living room so it wasn't hard to find. He grabbed some ice and put it in a bag, grabbed a small hand towel then walked back into the living room. He gave me the ice and told me to put in on my ankle to keep it from swelling. I did as he told me.

"You should be ok, now." He looked into my face as I stared back into his. I told him to leave or I would start crying again. He backed off a bit and then said ok. He walked out of the room back into the doorway. He put his shoe back on and opened the door. The door then shut. I thought he had left so I started talking to myself aloud.

"What was that? He didn't do anything to me? What is going on?!"

He walked back into the room. He said that he forgot his jacket. He did leave it on the couch when he put me down. He said that he was sorry and that he was leaving. Before he left the room though, he turned and faced me.

"I don't want to do anything bad to you. I was just trying to help." He left the room and out of my house. I even got up to check. As I limped back to the couch I cried. That was the first guy to be that nice to me since that day. My heart was beating fast and hard. What was this feeling? It was something I hadn't felt before with anyone. I lied down on the couch and cried until my mother came back 2 hours later. What was happening to me?

End of Chapter 1~

Like it or not, review it or email me. It's my first romance so bear with me some. If I don't get reviews then I wont do anymore of this.