Chapter Two

In Which Me Leads his Army into the Forest, and the Destruction Begins ******

Yes, I've done chapter two. I'm just not as satisfied with it as I was with the prologue and chapter one.... Mweh. I AM satisfied with the croquet part- yes, there is a croquet part- and for those who didn't figure it out, it's from Alice in Wonderland. I learned through default that tab suddenly works with FictionPress, and I plan to use this. Enjoy, and continue to review, for it makes Ember smile.

Unfortuantly, I'm not in a very comic mood right now. It's my last day of freedom before I am trapped in the steel chains of conformidy, and the keys to these bindings are thrown away, fed to a monster named Bob, who will, in due course, shit them out, when they will be fed to a bigger, far scarier monster named Society. My freedom is being torn away from me by faceless people with black masks, faceless people who call themselves my peers, who conform themselves to the patterns of life and the expectations of those who live beside us in this intricate dance. My wings are being torn off, feather by feather, by the harrowing process heralded 'growing up.'

But never fear! For I will continue to write! They who rip me limb from limb cannot touch my soul as society had touched their's! They cannot hurt my true self, the gryphon that dwells inside of me! And when I break out of these chains, and free Bob, who didn't mean it, really- you might see me flying away..... ****

Now, I'm certain the reader understands why we must return to the catacombs instead of simply telling you what happened in the forest in which we met our heroes and the first chapter began. You must know what tempted Me, who, the reader will remember, is the leader of the Oompa Loompas, into striking the forest, and capturing Volt.
It happened that the leader of those vile little dwarves had been planning an attack on the said forest for some time, in fact- for in order to defeat the humans that held the Oompa Loompas in the bondage of slavery, he needed warriors who could fight better than the short, fat little Oompa Loompas who had no natural weaponry. Thus, he had set his sights of the fairies of the forest, who DID have natural weaponry- or at least, those who weren't all the good, quaint little fairies you may be used to did.
Now, Me had come to abhor and despise slavery- however, he was rather like a man in some aspects, only a very, very stupid man, and he saw a great gap between this person enslaving him and he enslaving someone who has nothing to do with the picture. Moreover, he thought the fairies rather vile creatures for the very fact that they DID have nothing to do with it- how could they stand by while their brothers, the creatures who they should have protected with a vengeance, were forced to toil in the human's nasty, slimy, cavity-forming death factory?
Now, one may be wondering, if the Oompa Loompas had no weapons, how they overcame the dragon-wolf Volt. It so happened that they managed to get their hands on slingshots, or at least, make them out of rubber bands and forked twigs, which those few Oompa Loompas lucky enough to escape from the dark, dank Chocolate Factory to run errands on the ground, where no moral activist would see them, collected. With these, they were confident they could overcome anything- and so they waited for word to come.
Now, Me was a very ambitious Oompa Loompa, but while he made plans almost constantly, very rarely did he ever set any of them into motion. However, the others never questioned his future efforts to set this one in motion, and they may have been very disappointed had Me not been crushed by the fact that one of his right-hand men, You- all of Me's right hand men were named You, for they called themselves what Me called them, as well- stupid, lazy, slacking, and You- had been killed in a most terrible Runts accident. The details never reached the catacombs under Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory, but one thing was for certain- one of Me's trusted associates was dead, and the humans would pay.
Thus, the Oompa Loompas set to work, gathering their weapons. Those lucky enough to get slingshots stole Gobstoppers to load them with. Those who were not lucky grabbed the longest Nerd's Ropes they could find, swinging them experimentally and grinning at the effect. The time would come soon where they would have their army- and then, they would win their freedom from the evil, vile, stupid humans.
And therefore, we return to the forest, begging our reader's forgiveness if we stall for a small amount of time before rushing into battle. This time, instead of sitting and trying to find buttons, we are marching along with the Oompa Loompas, who are going towards Pawscliffs, at the far end of the forest. This is where they begin their search for warrior-slaves, in the winged-cat portion of the woods, which happens to sit very close to the honeycombed mountains and the gryphon city of Fuzzbeak, the eyries overlooking Light, to the distress of the unicorns who live there. Me had drawn many maps, most inaccurate but sufferable, fused together many Nerds Ropes to make Super Nerds Ropes, most still rather sticky but far from not working, and eaten may Gobstoppers, which, of course, wasn't commented on. Now, he was riding in a gold-dressed liter, his neck draped with three fine, silver chains, and he was looking forward to battle. Of course, for him, battle would be sitting up on his liter and having to move a little to cheer on his subjects, but then, we all must exert ourselves for the greater good.
And so the Oompa Loompas marched, Ember, Madoka and Kain searched, and for a moment, like the calm before the storm, the world was silent.
Now, there was one of the winged cats, named Shade, who was world- renowned for her inventions, machanitions, and all around knowlege, and who was, at the time that we have been relating to you, the reader, was sitting on the cliff outside of her nook home and basking in the warm sunlight, her bat-wings spread out to catch the golden rays. This is notable because Shade, despite her intelligence, shared a common trait with Ember- her inability to sit still unless something greatly interested her. And something did greatly interest Shade, but this had little relavence to the story as we are relating it, and so we shall continue.
As it happened, Shade was the first cat to hear the warning call of the scouts, winging back in. One of them, a gold-and-red male, cried out in a loud, screeching voice- "Get away! Fly away! They're coming! They're coming! The Oompa Loompas!"
The result of this simple, panicking, slightly ridiculous statement was instaneous- panic swept like a virus through the winged cats. As one, with a sound like dull thunder, they left their cliffs and nooks and took to the sky, winging through the air like frightened crows. Shade tried to make herself heard above the storm of wingbeats, but it was useless- already, the Gobstoppers were whizzing by her friends, felling them right from the air. Shade watched the whole scene, horrified by the carnage as her kin were smashed with soaring jawbreakers and cascaded to the earth below.
Unable to stay out to try and herd in her family any longer, Shade bolted for her nook, burrowing as far into the heart of the mountain as she could. Even as she coiled in the dark caves, however, the shreiks were heard as the winged cats were shot out of the air.
Luckily, the Oompa Loompas didn't think to try and flush out the caves- they weren't terribly bright, you understand, and the winged cats wore jewelry that was awfully shiny, which distracted them efficiently to keep them from thinking too much. Moreover, Me, who perhaps, on a good day, would have ordered them to flush out the caves likewise, was preoccupied in unfolding the rest of his plan. Today, the little, defenceless kitties. Tommorrow, the world!
And indeed, they had quite a few warrior-slaves among the winged cats. Enough, perhaps, to attack the gryphons, when their new pets recovered themselves. Could the warrior-burds defend themselves against their own kin?
Me leaned his head back, and laughed.
Then he turned around, gesturing to his crew, who took their eyes off the shineys in order to haul the winged cats back towards the catacombs under the chocolate factory. Through the fairy forest they trudged, unaware of hostile eyes watching from the trees, unaware of the winged cat left behind, plotting their demise, unaware of the shaking trio of gryphon, kitsune and dragon who were already brainstorming ways to win back their friend. They simply walked, leaving the shadows of the forest to brood.
Now, once more thanking our reader's diligence, we at last approach Volt, the dragon-wolf, as he plays croquet. Now, this is perhaps not the sport one would expect a dragon-wolf to play, given that, for one thing, he had no opposable thumbs, and for another, he was all alone at the given time. However, Volt had awoken that day with the insatiable urge to play croquet, and so, all alone though he was, he played it- and, to his great shock, for he had never played it before, he was winning, when Me and the Oompa Loompas attacked.
Volt turned around to meet Me, and at once recognized him- for Me was an Oompa Loompa, and slaved away in a chocolate factory, and Volt was a chocolate-obsessed dragon-wolf with an unprecedented knack for stealing when it came to his odd, passionate addiction.
Me approached Volt with a sneer on his face, slingshot in one hand, with a bag of Gobstoppers hanging from his belt, Nerds Rope in the other, eyes narrowed to slits. He had seen the wolf's tracks and followed them, wanting the powerful creature for his own, as one of his evil warrior- slaves. Volt snarled, showing glistening white fangs dancing with lightning, and the Oompa Loompa lord backed away a step, before seeing the croquet racket in Volt's paw.
"Do you play croquet?" he inquired nastily, a plan forming on the fringes of his vile, evil little mind.
Volt shook his head. "Not at all," he replied, his snarl vanishing.
This, of course, confused Me. "You're holding a racket, right there- and there happens to be a croquet court, right behind you, and the wooden balls nessisary for such a sport."
Volt looked down, slowly- and seeing he was, indeed, holding the said racket, he dropped it as if it were a venemous snake and stepped back with a oath.
Things were not going as Me had planned. "Do you or do you not play croquet?" he asked, looking over the set-up court behind Volt. The wolf considered, then slowly nodded.
"Evidence seems to point that way, yes."
Finnally! Me grinned, his evil, beady little eyes twinkling in a most un-merry way. "I will make a deal with you, wolf. We will play croquet. If you win, you can go safely on your way. If I win, you will be forced to stay here forever, as my warrior-slave!"
Temporarily, Volt forgot it was his home. He was snarling again, all spark and bristle. "And if I refuse?" he challenged, his eyes glowing darkly.
The Oompa Loompa lord smiled. "Then my warriors on either side of you will pelt you with various candies until you concede to be our slave."
Volt was still snarling, but the light in his eyes dimmed a shade. "Very well," he growled, and picked up his racket- and another one, which he had kept near at hand in case he found someone else willing to play, or he lost the old one, or grew tired of it and wanted to change. He handed the spare to Me, and gathered the croquet balls, glaring darkly at each one he picked up.
The evil mind of Me was singing in delight. Of course, he hardly meant for Volt to go on his way when he was finished, should the dragon- wolf win; he simply meant for his warriors to shoot the vulnerable wolf when he was distracted. Quite unfortuatly for the Oompa Loompa lord, he failed to communicate this to his subjects, and so the croquet battle went relatively undisturbed.
Me went first, sending his yellow ball through several little hoops. Then went Volt, sending Me's yellow ball through several more hoops- then replacing it and selecting the green ball, as he was instructed, and hitting it to hit Me's yellow ball through several more hoops. Quite fortuantly for the dragon-wolf, he was abnormally talented in the obscure sport, for he knew about as much of it as I do. In the end, the Oompa Loompa keeping score, who also knew very little of how to play croquet, wound up with a bunch of scribbles and play-by-play sketches of each shot, labeled with where each ball was the shot before, whose turn it was and where each one started. They were very impressive sketches, and he would have made an excellant sports journalist, but unfortuantly, he could not desipher these sketches and tell who won, so he was forced to attempt to decide by harder and more strenuous means.
"Heads is the wolf, tails is Me," he muttered, dropping the coin onto the ground, for he didn't want the Oompa Loompa lord to see him flipping coins when he was supposed to be figuring out who had won. "And... Volt is the winner!" he announced, slipping the coin back into his pocket for safekeeping, in case anyone wanted proof on the decision.
Luckily for the scorekeeper, there was no need to resort to that. "Fire!" cried out Me, and a moment later, while Volt was walking into the forest, he and the Oompa Loompas figured out what the lord was saying. The demon-wolf spun around, snarling and sparking, and Gobstoppers flew, pelting and stinging poor Volt. Lightning sprang from the bristles of Volt's fur, but he was panicked and injured, several nerds having dug deep into his flesh, and so his attacks failed. In a moment, he was caged in steel, and being hauled to the catacombs under Willy Wonka's Chocolate factory.
As Me walked along- his liter had cracked along the way- gazing back at the lightning-wolf with an evil gleam in his beady eye, he stepped on something hard underfoot. Drawing back, he peered at the mud- and found, to his surprise, the perfect pendant to claim his rule. With shaking fingers, he lifted it from the earth, and threaded it onto one of the fine silver chains he hung around his neck, using two of the three holes it had in the middle. Then he let it fall onto his chest and marched after his army, smiling at the navy-blue button that served as his pendant and declared his rank.