Rating: R for frequent swearing, sexual themes and adult situations.

Pairings:  Slash all over, more in later chapters (and some hetero)

Summary:  Two teenage boys are about to learn the true pain of finding something only to lose them.

Note:  At some points in the story there are related quotes.  To the best of my knowledge I have accredited these to the right people.

Please no 'this is an evil slash story' flames though.  You have been warned it is slash already.  If you are homophobic or for other reasons would like to keep a closed mind, don't read this.  Click that button on your browser which says 'Back'.  It's very useful.  And if you are homophobic and do decide to ignore all my advice, then don't then complain about what you could have easily avoided.

Enjoy, please review and constructive criticism is welcomed. 


"True friendship is never serene."
- Mariede Svign


'Now arriving at Platform Seven, the 10:43 train to London Waterloo.  Stopping at –'

'Bloody everywhere except where we want to go,' moaned the youth, flicking a brown curl out of his eyes with an impatient movement of his head.  'Seth, I thought you said these trains ran on time?'

Do you have to get everyone looking at us?  Seth put a calming hand on his best friend's shoulder, desperately trying to stop him jumping around and knocking over another innocent bystander.  'Casey, it'll be here.'

'Yeah, in the next fucking millennium,' muttered the boy darkly.  He was quiet for a little while before pulling a packet of gum out from the front pocket of his jeans.  Need a smoke.  Or the nearest thing.  Nimble fingers opened it and drew out two strips of cream-coloured gum, which were quickly unwrapped and – oops, I wonder who did that? – dropped on the floor.  The packet was replaced quickly with one hand while the other held out one of the strips to Seth.

Seth eyed the gum that was being waved in front of his face warily.  He knew what it meant when Casey ate gum.  'You're still having trouble with not smoking?'  How long will it take to stop you thinking about cigarettes?

'My mouth needs something to do, alright?' was the retort.  'Can't help it.  Want some?  At least be grateful.'

An express train whipped past the station, tousling Casey's hair; whipping away the wrappers he had dropped.

'Please,' Seth said as soon as the rattling and humming of the rails had died down.  If it'll make you happy.

'Good.'  And then Casey, being Casey, the most shameless flirt that Seth had ever met, pressed the strip of gum to his friend's lips.  Seth's eyes flitted over the watching crowd – how could anyone present not be watching? – as he reluctantly opened his mouth and accepted the gum.  Casey always attracts attention.  And he enjoys it.

Casey grinned, slipping one finger fleetingly into the other boy's mouth teasingly before stepping away.  He couldn't care less that people were watching, whispering, disapproving of two teenage boys flirting.  Well, one of them anyway.  He even enjoyed the attention, and not least because of how awkward it made Seth, his best friend, who should know better than to be embarrassed by it.  Casey grinned devilishly, popping his own gum into his mouth, his tongue darting out to caress his finger while his lustrous cerulean eyes stayed locked with Seth's brown ones.  You know you want it, the look plainly said, tempting in its wantonness.

And most infuriating to Seth, who was blushing obviously now and unable to tear his gaze away or better yet crawl into a hole and die, he knew that Casey meant nothing by it.  Nothing at all.  Casey flirted with every guy who looked even remotely good.  Even his best – and decidedly straight – friend.  Casey doesn't fancy me.  He's just playing.  It's only a game.

'Now arriving at Platform Seven, the 10:54 train to –'

'This is our train.'  An excuse to stop him flirting.  Thank God.  Seth glanced furtively about, wishing that everyone would stop staring.  Casey had finished being an exhibitionist now, it seemed, and was happily chewing away on his gum, a look of pure innocence in his eyes.

'About bloody time.'  The shorter, brown-haired boy jumped in as soon as the doors opened, and using his considerable charm managed to barge past half the other people there without insulting any of them, and grab two seats.

Seth followed, slower, careful not to knock over anyone.  And even more careful not to make eye contact with anyone who had seen them on the station –

Just messing around.


'Switch the bloody channel, please.  I can't stand any more of this,' Casey moaned, while casually beating his friend's head with a pillow.  How can you watch this stuff?

Seth sighed, and twisted his head back to look up at the boy on the sofa behind him.  Another blow  from the pillow caught him on the face, but he didn't flinch.  'What do you want to watch then, your Highness?'  He held out the remote control.  'I'm very sorry, but I don't subscribe to the gay porno channels…'  He grinned a little mischievously.

You cheeky little bastard…  Casey thought, but he couldn't stop a smile curving his lips, and his eyes lit up behind thick lashes which were enhanced by the most tastefully applied mascara Seth had ever seen on a man or woman.  And Casey had beautiful blue eyes to enhance the whole sex-bomb look even more.  Seth tried not to dwell on that.

Casey replied quickly: 'What makes you think I'd want to watch them, ay?' he asked, almost as if hurt.  The pillow stopped midway to a collision with Seth's head, and fell down onto Casey's thigh.  'I'm not that sick, though you straights might be…  Ah well, whatever turns you on, I suppose.  There's no accounting for taste.'  Especially taste which makes you like women in that way.

Seth turned fully around to face Casey, who was by now lying full-length across the sofa, legs spread wantonly in a way that only he could get away with – or have the confidence to assume.  Oh God, please don't lie like that, Casey.  Please'You forget, mate, that you're the… How shall I phrase this…  Queer one here.'  They joked together like this all the time; and they were both comfortable with it.  Seth was well aware of how much he could get away with saying, and this was safely within the limit.

Casey rolled his eyes.  'As you keep on reminding me.  But if you were gay too then there would be no need for me even to think about gay porno.  I could start making out with you instead and not have to watch these fucking pop-music channels.'  If you were gay, so much more would happen.  He started fiddling with the buttons on his shirt almost innocently, but he was obviously aware of the affect this would have on anyone in the room.  'Are you sure you don't swing both ways, Seth?  I mean, I've seen the way you look at me…'  He winked playfully.  They had covered this ground many times before.

God, Casey, everyone looks at you.  You're living, walking sex-appeal.  Every time you look at a guy your eyes scream "fuck me".  There are girls who would pay you to forget you're gay for a night.  He feigned nonchalance.  'Sorry, mate, but I'm interested in people with breasts.  No go with guys.  Sorry to disappoint you.'  He began to turn back to the TV, and safe ground, perhaps a simpler conversation on music might start if he was quiet enough.

Though apparently Casey wasn't too keen on letting that happen.

'Ah,' reminded Casey, tipping his head a little, 'you may not be interested in me but you do look at me.'  And it would be very nice if you would explain why Mr. I'm So Straight You Could Use Me As A Ruler can't resist his male friend's flirting.

Seth shrugged, and tried to keep his eyes on the scantily clad (and decidedly female) dancers gyrating on the screen before him.  'You're my friend.  Is it illegal to look at you?'

'No.  It's just odd that you look at me like straight guys look at girls.'  I am not letting this go till you give me a straight answer.  He grinned a little to himself at the thought.  Well, maybe a gay one would be better.

'I'm one of those straight guys, Casey, and you need to reconsider how I'm looking at you, because as sure as anything it's not like that.'  Can we leave this conversation?  Please?

'You don't know what you're missing out on, mate…'

And I don't want to.  Why's this worse today than any other day?  'Give me a break, Casey, I'm not gay, or bi, and there's nothing –'

From his pocket came a muffled and electronic rendition of The Great Escape.  Thank God.  Glad of the distraction, he pulled out the phone, and answered the incoming call.  'Emma!  Great to hear from you…'

Casey scowled and pulled the pillow over his head, closing his eyes tightly.  Why a call from your bloody girlfriend now?


'Yeah, I'd love to.  Tarnished Pulse?  Sounds good.'

Oh, and bloody-fucking-great, a straight club.  Today just keeps on getting better.  And I can't even smoke anymore.

'I have Casey over here now.  In three hours?  I'll pick you up at eight-thirty in the car?  No, don't worry, I won't drink too much.'

You never do, you're such a bloody good boy.  Which is exactly the problem.

Seth put his hand over the receiver and turned to look at his best friend, or rather the large blue pillow under which he was hiding.  'Casey?  You want to come to Tarnished Pulse tonight?'

'Straight club,' came the muffled reply.  Seth could tell just by Casey's voice that the other boy was pouting and annoyed.

'Modern club.  Straight in theory, but no one would really mind if you danced with a guy.  Well, most people wouldn't.'  Not openly.  And whispers have never bothered you before.

'I think I'll give it a miss.'  Leave you two lovers alone to make out on a dance floor.

Seth tried pleading.  'Aaaww, come on, Casey, it'll be fun, and music is music after all…'

Don't do that fucking voice!

'Come on, Casey…'

I'm the one who's meant to be irresistible.  It's unfair.  He peeked out from under the pillow, looking incredibly cute.  'Fine.  But only because you want me to.  And I'm not promising I won't tell any girl who looks at me to bugger off.'

Seth rolled his eyes, but he was smiling happily.  '"Bugger off".  So typical of you, Casey.'  He ducked quickly to avoid another blow of the pillow, and then lifted the phone back to his mouth.  'Emma?  He'll come.'

I can't believe I agreed to go to a hetero club with him.  Again.

Seth hung up, and smiled a little at Casey.  'I know you love to dance, Casey.  You'll have a great time, even if you don't find any cute guys.'

Casey snorted to show what exactly he thought of that idea, and resumed his attack with the pillow.