Papayas, Monkeys, and Hilary Duff!

Disclaimer!!! Lizzie McGuire does not belong to me...or the flying monkeys from the Wizard of Oz. And the Cardinals don't belong to me...I don't know who they belong to but they're for St. Louis so ya know what? They belong to St. Louis :P. Peter Pan doesn't belong to me either...that's Disney' I'm smart! ^_^

A/N This fanfic is about how Hilary...okay I'll just say it involves man- eating papayas, blimps, and the flying monkeys from the Wizard of Oz. Thank you Danica for the suggestion of papayas! ^_^ Danica's awesome...she's poopeatingmonkey on here so check her out ;). And I'll say to you flamers...yes you guys. No matter how many flames I get I'm still going to write because you guys are stupid. :P I hate you. I know it's harsh...but hey you guys are annoying me and usually your comments are retarded. LOL for you people who like to laugh at flamers, I have some pretty good ones for my other stories on and I'll probably get even more for this one there b/c that's where all the flamers check out those flames because they're so stupid lol ^_-. we've got that taken care of...LET'S GO! ^_^

One lovely day, Hilary Duff walks into the studio for another really stupid day! She wasn't supposed to be at the studio, since the show fell off a cliff...but that's a different story.

Well...anyway...she walked into the studio and Judy Garland was there.

"Hey like, Judy! You know like, I'm a popstar now? I think that we should totally like...have a singing contest!"


"Ummm...EXCUSE MAY! Like, I said, like we should totally have a singing contest!"

"Way up highhhhh...sorry I only got up until the second 'like'."


"We should."

Judy pushes Hilary out of a window.


Hilary is falling singing, "Why not? Fall out a window!"

Miraculously, a flying monkey from the Wizard of Oz comes out of nowhere and picks Hilary up.

"Yay! I'm saved!"

Or so she thinks...MHWAHAHA!

The flying monkey sweeps Hilary off into a dark, gloomy, and OBVIOUSLY evil forest.

"Wow! This looks like...a forest!"

"No dip Sherlock."

"Wow! You can! And by the name is like...Hilary! It's not Sherlock!"

"*Sigh* You see, us flying monkeys are amazing creatures...we can talk, fly, and sniff our butts at the same time."

"! I wish I could do that!"

Then, the flying monkey could take it no longer! This girl was annoying him, and he knew he had to drop her somewhere...but where? They were right above the most evil villan in all the evil woods...the evil, man-eating papaya! That's it! He would drop her there and he knew exactly how to do it...

"You can talk and sniff your butt can't you?"

"Like...YAH! But I can't fly!"

"I sprinkled pixie dust on you...just in case you doubt," the monkey said. Right then, they soared right over the enormous papaya. "Ciao!" the monkey said, and with that, he let go of her and Hilary dropped...a lot of feet...down to the mouth of the giant papaya.

"WHEE! I can fly! Look Tink! I can fly!" With her eyes closed, she soared right into the mouth of the man-eating papaya...


High above...some stalkers of Hilary Duff were watching her...yes...they were watching her...from a blimp for the Cardinals.

Inside the blimp, they are watching Hilary's every move...Adam Lamberg just spilled his cappuccino all over his pants.

"CRAP! Hilary's going to fall into the mouth of a man-eating papaya!" Then he looked down. "Aw crap! My pants!"

"Got all excited there...didn't you?" Character of Miranda said.

"Aw shut up girly."

"COUGH COUGH!" said Character of Miranda.

"I'm taking you out missy!"

Character of Miranda humored Adam...he gets really touchy sometimes. She laughed and even though she didn't care, she said,

"Let's get back to saving Hilary!"

"You're right...we should set our differences aside and save Hilary from the man-eating papaya. Truce?"

"Yea, sure," then Character of Miranda took Adam's hand...and they pulled together to save Hilary from the man-eating papaya...who was already half digested by now.

In the meantime, Hilary is in the stomach of the massive papaya...doing some make-up and hair touch-ups to maintain the 'perfect complexion' and a 'perfect hairdo' in her great time of stress.

Then she feels a RUMBLE GRUMBLE!

"Ahh! Like, I don't like rumble grumbles!" and the man-eating papaya spoke...just like the flying monkey.

"I am Papa, the evil man-eating papaya of the evil forest. I am an amazing creature."

"Can you, fly, and sniff your butt at the same time, Papa?"

"No, but I can talk and eat people."

"That's like, good enough for me."

"Well...does it bother you that you are in the stomach of a giant papaya? Because I can get you out," the papaya said, being very annoyed with her calmness...because screaming gave him satisfaction.

"That's with me I guess as long as my mascara doesn't smear..."

"Stop it right there Hook! Ahem...Papa?" Adam Lamberg jumps down from the big, red and white blimp with a bird and a bat on it.

"For crissakes is this Peter Pan?" said Papa...VERY confused.

"I'm afraid not Mr. Smee!"

"Good grief..."

"I've got the dame! And the pixie dust!" and with that, Adam jumped into the mouth of the massive fruit, pulled out Hilary and flew back up to the blimp.

"LIKE, STOP MESSING UP MY HAIR! I just combed it you know!" Hilary said, frustrated with the fact Adam brushed his hand over the top of her head.

"It's either your hair or your lucky I saved you!" Adam said, in a very heroic manner.

"Like, Uh!" Hilary exclaimed...lost for words.


Back in the blimp, Adam and Hilary stood, with Character of Miranda in the other room.

"Oh Hilary, last time I declared my love to you, I got a red butt and got otter crap all over me...but this time, I think I'll be safe."

"Go for it bucko."

"" Adam said, who was completely speechless. He was so speechless that he jumped out of the blimp and into the giant papaya.

"Adam! No! I love you!" Hilary said, and with that, flew off into a golden sunset...with the help of a flying monkey of course.