Watching the emerging skyline at dawn must be one of my favourite activities.
Around 4.30am, I slip out of my window and sit on the rooftops just so I can watch from closer. I'm sure the tip of my nose actually brushes against the horizon. It just won't admit it.
My mother says I'm a dreamer but really, I think I'm too passive for my own good.
And insomniac. I've always had problems sleeping and I can't bother taking those stupid pills each night. If my body decided I would see every hour of the day, so be it.
Today, it's pouring. I still took place on my perch, there's this broken tile near my sill and it's the perfect size for my bum. I think I'm soaked but I don't care. I'm pissed at my stupid country for having deprived me of my daily sunrise.
I miss yesterday's wondrous vastness of colors, a brilliant tan mixed with dashes of blue. City pollution can come out as something beautiful.
- Hola amigo!
I irk an eyebrow at the rain-coat clad silhouette that just hopped on my roof.
Sari is my neighbour, we barely talk. I guess she took a liking to me because she keeps coming for a short chat whenever I'm out.
- Nice weather, huh? She continues in a chirpy voice.
- Don't you see it's cloudy as a bitch..
- Chill, man. Doesn't this rain make you want to sing? I swear, the Earth needs this salutary cleaning.
I watch her as she takes in several deep breaths while skipping around me. She shouldn't. I don't feel like picking her off her own blood when she'll go crashing down the ten floors of the building.
I turn my eyes back to the dull grey. For once, it seems threatening.
- Why so sullen?
I shrug. The hell I know. I guess the lack of sleep makes me feel kind of quaky or something. If only she'd leave me to my thoughts.
Sari finally stops twirling and plops down besides me. I keep staring intently at the sky, as if it would suddenly break in half by my own powerful will.
No such luck.
I jerk my head around when I feel her hand smoothing my bangs out of my eyes.
- There. I can see their color now.
- It's not fantastic, I shrug (yet again).
- Are you kidding me?! I can see far past your soul, even more than you can imagine, she replies in a serious tone. If I go beyond the black with those weird tinges of purple, there's a bright, clear blue. You don't see it because you're blind.
- I don't care.
- You pretend you don't.
I'd like to run away from her. I hate when she starts such conversations. Lately, she's been trying to convince me she's a witch and that she gets premonitions about me. But then, she also wanted me to think she was a notorious porn star.
I don't really believe her, whatever she says. I think she's a magician who just lost his way in a girl's body.
- You smell, Sari remarks after having laid her head on my shoulder.
I look to the other side of the town, without bothering to reply. She starts musing and poking me to get a reaction but I won't move, just to annoy her.
- Don't stay so far away from me. This weather has me wanting love more tangible. Something I can hold because it's getting cold..
- Stop singing that.
- Your lips are blue. Cold, aren't you?
She leans over and quickly brushes them with her own. I stay where I am to prove whatever I have to prove (what do I have to prove?) but I feel something warm fill me from the inside.
Damn my hormones.
- Do you know what I like about you?
I shrug because I suppose I want to know but won't try caring about it.
- I like.. she whispers softly in my neck, your wet eyelashes. I like how you pretend you don't bother about anything, how you shrug off all your worries. I like the way you look at me, even when I annoy you.. I like how your hair droops in your eyes. I like how thin your wrists are and I like how you shake when you aren't feeling warm enough.
- You're weird.
Sari stretches out a hand to the skyline and traces it with her index. It suddenly becomes part of a painting and as solid as a stone.
Because she's a magician and magicians can do that.
Her hand tiptoes on the grey ceiling then hops on each street light. After she's done, they all go out at the same time. I know it's because it's 5.40 but I can't help thinking she put them to sleep in her magician way.
- Don't you think we're part of a dream?
- I dunno.
- But look at this! She exclaims. Don't tell me this is reality! We would love waking up to such a world if it were.
- You sound really cliché right now.
Sari shots a hurt look at me. I can't turn my head quickly enough for her to think I haven't seen it. I don't know why I said that. She makes me feel uncomfortable.
I shake my hair full of raindrops, will this ever end?
- I'm sorry, I finally manage to say.
She bites her lip but doesn't say anything. Why doesn't she leave if I vexed her?
But she just signs my cheek with the touch of her finger and kisses me quietly again.
- Do you think I'm pretty?
I wide-open my eyes on her face, her hair, her neck and her golden aura. Then I shrug.
- Of course I do. You're a magician.