A short story, which should not be taken as any sort of conservative political statement, since I'm a liberal myself.

We'd always hated the conservatives. When they then said they'd enact a new law to make sure people spreading pornography on the internet would get convicted, that was the last straw. Nobody touches our porn.

All of us liberals rose together in one front, seeking out and lynching those close-minded conservatives. Damn things telling us what to do. We picked the most liberal among us and elected him as the president. Then we went home, satisfied that everything was going to turn good now that the conservatives were out of the way.

As we'd hoped, all those boring conservative anti-gay, anti-abortion, anti-anything fun laws were repealed, and we were overjoyed. They even legalized all drugs, something I wasn't really sure I agreed with, but I kept quiet. After all, I didn't want the others to find me conservative. I wouldn't want to get lynched.

I began to get worried, though, when more and more laws kept getting repealed. The president even signed an executive order making it illegal to be a lawyer, saying everybody ought to have the right to do whatever they wanted. Thus, he said, there was no need for any laws, which were just conservative ploys to limit our true potential.

I knew we were in trouble when I saw the president fuck a donkey while holding his State of the Union speech.

Things just went downhill from that. The only law we had left was the one that our president had created shortly after getting elected, namely the one saying that being conservative carried a death penalty. There were death squads out on the streets, death squads who served as judge, jury, and executioner for anybody suspected of conservatism.

A lot of those were eradicated with the bombs. The president had given out the codes for the nuclear silos, saying anybody should be free to launch the nukes if they wanted. And what do you know, somebody really did want to launch the nukes. The explosions were pretty, as long as you viewed them from afar, but the mushroom clouds were a kinda bummer.

After somebody wasted Paris, everybody else who had nukes decided that a pre-emptive strike against us might be a good idea. I had to cross the border to Mexico when my home town got reduced to a crater.

Unfortunately, thing didn't go quite the way I had in mind. Apparently the Mexican leaders had decided that liberals were trouble, and their death squads had orders to shoot any liberals on sight.

What a close-minded bunch. Just goes to show that conservatives are never up to any good.