Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters except for myself . A couple of friends and I started RPing since we were bored. And these characters are them. I shall not tell you which is which since it is a bit early and I would rather you figure that part out ) Will you be able to guess who I am? To find out, read…Ze Ship Dysfunctionál!

Real names are not use (unless by permission). Another note, Pirates of the Caribbean had a lot of influence on this _

Intense humor and chaos will be found in an organized manner. Please watch your step.

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It was a dark and stormy night. A young girl with long, flowing black hair pressed her face against the windowpane,  only to give a short scream as a large crack of lightning illuminated the dark sea just a mere few hundred feet away from her house.

"Mama! Mama!" she cried as the girl buried her face into her mother's warm lap.

"There, there, my sweet," the young mother said gently as she stroked her daughter's silky hair. She was dressed in a casual dress, her long black hair trailing down the back of the chair she was sitting in. She had just been looking through an old book when the young girl threw herself upon her. "There's nothing to be frightened of. It's just a bit of rain—" As she said this, a loud clap of thunder roared above the house, shaking the glass in the windowpanes, and causing the little girl to clutch tighter to her mother. "Erm…well okay, it's not just a bit of rain…"

At that moment a young, lanky, handsome man walked into the room and gave them a smile. "What seems to be the matter here?" he asked with a slight foreign accent and brushing his dark brown bangs away from his eyes as he walked over.

The young woman smiled warmly at her husband and gave a small laugh. "It seems that Alicia here is afraid of the storm."

"I'm not afraid!" she said angrily. However, she gave a small scream and clung to her mother once more as a loud banging could be heard from outside.

"It's just the door!" the young mother laughed as she gave her daughter a reassuring hug. She turned to her husband. "Will you get that, dear?"

He smiled and gave a bow. "But of course, Milady," he said grinning.

"How many times do I have to tell you to not call me that??"

He just smiled and left the room. It was only a matter of moments before the sound of more footsteps could be heard and soon three more faces appeared, two young women and one other young man appearing through the door.

The young woman started and stared at the newcomers. "Oh…" She slowly stood up, tears brimming her eyes. "I can't believe it…"

"Well you better!" one of ladies said, smiling widely. "It's about time we came together again."

"You said it," the other young woman said, grinning. "It's been…how long?"

"…I think a bit too long if you ask me," the young male said, looking around the room. "Nice place by the way."

"But of course," the young mother's husband said, smiling at his wife. "She picked it herself."

Alicia stared at all of them, a look of confusion on her small, young face. "Mama…are these friends of yours?" she asked softly.

The mother looked back down at her child and smiled warmly. "Yes…very dear friends of mine whom I have not seen for far too long."

The young man blinked. "Mama…is she your child?!?!?" he yelled incredulously.

The two women cringed. "Well, duh," the first said. "Did you not get the letter?"


"Nope," the second said sighing. She turned to Alicia and gave her a smile. "So you are Alicia. How old are you?"


"Six years old?" the first repeated in slight disbelief. "Has it been that long?"

"Longer," the second said.

Their talk was interrupted, however, as a loud roar of thunder was heard and shook the building, Alicia screaming and hugging her mother's legs.

Alicia's father looked up thoughtfully then snapped his fingers. "You know what would be good? A story. It should help calm Alicia's nerves a bit."

His wife looked at him and smiled. "That's an excellent idea! Lets all move to the parlour. There's more space there."

After a short walk to the room next door, the group of six sat in the couches placed around a warm fire. Alicia sat on her mother's lap and rested her head against her father, who had his arm around his wife. The young women sat on the right couch and the young man chose a recliner placed right next to the fireplace.

"So what story should we tell Alicia-chan?" the first young woman asked.

"Hm…how about the tale of Ze Ship Dysfunctionál?" the other said, a small smile playing on her lips.

They all smiled, Alicia looking at them curiously. "Ze Ship Dysfunctionál?" she repeated.

"Aye, it's a rather fun story," her father said smiling. "And your mother will tell the tale, won't you?"

She looked at him, slightly flustered. "Me?"

"Yeah!" the young man said. "Go for it!"

She looked at all their smiling faces and down at her daughter's eager face and gave a soft sigh. "…Very well…"

Barely audible in the roaring winds, a chorus of voices could be heard, singing a rather interesting song.

Welcome to Ze Ship Dysfunctionál,

Where the crew has odd antics and morale

Crazy pirates, parrots, and bread

You might just say we're completely sick in the head.

We rob, we steal,

We pillage, we plunder,

We grab, we gloat,

And this all through thunder!


...or not...

It's not unusual, at least not to us

So please don't bother to cause a fuss

It's all too strange; we're all deranged

And that's never, ever going to change!

Our ship is made of fire... wait ice...

Wait fire... wait ice...

Oh dang, I can't tell.

Can you?

Dang, it's something.

Who cares?

(Not us!)

We're a ragged bunch of idiots!

Oh wait, that's Ryebread, ignore the last bit.

We forget to untie the ship at the harbor,

Later to hoist up the anchor!

We try our best to loot all the rest

(Though it tends to never work, you know).

So this is Ze Ship Dysfunctionál!

Welcome to Ze Ship Dysfunctionál!

Where you'll never leave, not now!


And so began the tale…of Ze Ship Dysfunctionál!

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Khehehe, I didn't make up that song, my friend did ^^ She's in the RP too xD so no stealing of ze song! Or you shall burn at the stake and walk the plank! O