The scene was one of an ordinary police arrest, with police cars still whooping and flashing, but this is no ordinary story. For the criminal was a small creature, clad in holiday attire. He was an elf. Used to be one of santa's. Yes, used to. Here's the story...


Carl, like all other elves, was an exact replica of the perfect elf. A genetic clone of George A. Dinglehopper. Carl, though, was nothing like George. He was rude, lazy, and an all-around-not-too-nice guy. Santa noticed this, and gave Carl one chance to prove himself a worthy elf. Of course, he didn't change one bit after the warning. So, since they couldn't afford an idle elf around Christmas, Santa fired him. Now, you may think it's not a big deal, and that he could find work again. Not quite. I highly doubt you've ever seen an elf walking down the sidewalk dragging a briefcase.

So, Carl went into denial. He got a small apartment, and banished everything cheerful and festive. He was like that for a few years, and everyone thought they had seen the last of Carl. Well, they were wrong. All that time, he was hatching an evil, oh so evil plan. See, when the horrid holiday season was over, and all the decorations were packed neatly away, he would sneak into their houses. Then came the most evil climax in his plot; he would tangle their Christmas lights!! At this point, he would laugh rather evilly.

In Carl's demented mind, this was the perfect ploy to ruin Christmas. If people's Christmas lights were too tangled to put up, than there'd be no holiday decorations. And with no holiday decorations, there'd be NO CHRISTMAS!!!! When his train of thought reached this point, he did the whole mwahaha thing quite uncontrollably. Laughing evilly had become a habit of his.

He did this unnoticed for a considerable while, until one Christmas, just as he was beginning to chuckle satisfactorily at his evil work, a child's wide eyes peeked into the doorway. Carl, of course, was oblivious to this, until...

Mommy! Daddy! There's a thing in our basement!

Two sleepy-eyed adults came stumbling down the stairs. As the mother looked up, she screamed, and the father quickly dialed 911. A few moments later, the cops arrived. They escorted a creature in handcuffs to their vehicle, his pointy hat askew and his shoulders still shaking in silent peals of laughter. Some say that Carl is still in jail, giggling to himself. Others insist he escaped, and is still tangling Christmas lights. Watch out, or yours might be in danger!!