It's so strange, this
Feeling of hollow emptiness
The foreign quality of a
Once familiar place…

It's so strange
I'm so out of place, surely
Sitting uncomfortable by my father
Exchanging nervous giggles and glances with friends
We're here to start a journey
Or so they say
Except I have the strangest feeling that I've already taken mine
And maybe I took a wrong turn, because I swear
This can't be where I'm supposed to be…

It's so strange
The way they call us adults
One minute, and the next
We're their kids
And the way they can talk of a God with such reverence
But then use his name to exclaim
To yell and defame
Our church an auditorium
It's all so strange…

But then I realize that no one is here by choice
And no one is a good Catholic girl or boy
Just a good kid
Honoring their fathers and mothers
By lying and whining
Chatting through a service and poking fun
At the goth kid's hair and that weird girl's shoes
No one cares about Christ
This religion's a façade
And so maybe it's okay
For me to get confirmed
Even when I don't believe
Because no one really does
Not the epileptic old man with a pointed hat and rosary beads
Not the priest who's seen so many of his colleagues
Disrobe themselves, others, consequently defrocked
Not any one else in this carefully layered spongecake
Laced with subtle poison that will lull you to eternal sleep
With the promise of eternal life…

And if the whole religion does not believe,
And I do not truly believe,
Then perhaps it is not such a falsehood
For me to confirm membership in this Church.
perhaps….


perhaps….