9 Months

THAT NIGHT
I made a choice
A bad one now i see
He muffled my voice
My eyes were so teary
I'm sitting in the shower
With mascara on my face
I feel i have no power
I have to leave this place...

1ST MONTH
I have terrible news
I'm a couple weeks late
And the stick just turned blue
So what do i do?
I'm only 15
This must be a dream
I try, but i can't scream
That muthafucker was so mean...

2ND MONTH
My mother asks me
Why, why, why
Every morning i
puke, puke, puke
And all i do is
Cry, cry, cry
And my head
Aches, aches, aches
I wish this thing would
Die, die, DIE!

3RD MONTH
Noone is home
So i go to the stairs...
Oops i fell down
Oops i fell down again
And again
And again
And again...

4TH MONTH
"Hello?"
"Hi, is Matt there?"
"This is him"
"Matt i got bad news"
"Who is this?"
"I'm pregnant"
"What?"
"I want you to come with me to the doctor for the ultrasound"
"Fuck you, you fat dirty slut. That kid ain't mine"
*CLICK*
"Matt? Matt? Hello?...Fuck"

5TH MONTH
Today, i fell in love
I saw something i was made of
With a tiny head and a heartbeat
Soon will be fingers and little feet
I cried today, but i wasn't sad
I cried today because i was glad
This thing is inside me, i am nurturing it
I will help it grow strong, healthy and fit
No longer do i view this as a problem
Because i have the love and courage to solve it

6TH MONTH
Her name is Chantelle
I named her
Afther the only true friend i ever had
I cant wait to tell
My daughter about her name
And all the other things that
Influenced her life
We threw a party
There were baby girl clothes
A car seat, crib, animals, a blanket
I said i was sorry
I didn't choose any of my other friends
For a name
They're still behind me
100%

7TH MONTH
What was that?
I think i heard a sound
Turn around
Half asleep but i can still see
And someone's in the room with me
I gasp in a breath, but suddenly i'm choked
By a super strong iron grip hand around my throat
"Make a sound or a move and i'll slice you dead"
I'm so scared now i'm frozen in the bed
Worst part is i recognize the sound
Seems my babys daddy has finally come to town
He pulls down my pants and i kick him in the balls
Punch him in the face, slam his head against the wall
I jump out of bed with my pants down at my feet
Go for the door, but he's got me beat
He grabs me from behind in a one-armed hug
And a great pain comes and i know i've been stuck
I look down my body at the burning fire
And in the moonlight i see a clothes hanger wire
A blow from behind knocks me right the fuck out
And that's all i remember...cuz then he was out

8TH MONTH
This is so not the way
How can he give me something
Then take it away?
How could such evil lurk within
The father of my child
I hope my daughter, doesn't have such sin

9TH MONTH
My
World
Is
Shattered