i'm lashing out
acting wild
passing round the grass until
i'm past the point of passing out
empty bottles on the ground
been finished in just half an hour
you can find me dying
down the hall
mixing pills with alcohol
i finished all my tylenol
so i'm looking for a violent brawl
tonite's the night i might just fall
and not expect to wake at all
so let the strippers take it off
hookers getting aids but fuck
christians try to change the world
fuck it all, i just don't care
i'm a shitty scrapper
but when i'm hit i'm laughing
i'm a masouchistic bastard
when i down a fist of asprin
if i'm wasted i get plastered
so the pain it tickles laughter
one day will be my last here
if i could stay awake
long enough to take
more shit than i can even tolerate
i'd be gone and all is great
i just can't wait till saturday

the shit i think is realistic
i don't just get depressed to bitch shit
please let me clear my head for just this instant
and let me be content with living

i don't try to glorify dying
it's all i have to wish for crying
nothing else can ease the pain
i wish i could be selfish
put a bullet in my brain
the next best thing is temp relief
weed and drinks keep me from thinking straight
still missing that sweet face
but too numb to really feel the pain
who can live like this and say
they wanna live and appreciate each day
who can fake for days
and waste away, praying to space
as one last test of the faith
just me, i'm not saved
no grace or redemption
i'm left with no help
or a trace of protection
so fix a gin and tonic
fuck it, get the gin and skip the tonic
hit the shit and tip the sonic
limits of this system's volume
i'm gettin inches within god
i hope i don't wake up at all