A/N: The Wings that my friends refer to is the hockey team in my hometown of Detroit - the Mighty Detroit Red Wings. Actually, we just call them the Wings in these parts, but they're mighty because they're quite good.
MORE A/N: This isn't nearly as weird as some folks', but this is just to give you a gist of what random people myself and my friends are.
And thus beginneth:
I Know Weird People.
"Aiee, I'm working on a Stalin speech, so if I come up with some half-assed idea where Stalin comes back from the dead, discount it immediately."
- SDQ, trying to be helpful and provide me with story ideas, while working on a report about Josef Stalin
"Idea: Stalin makes an appearance in the Wings lockerroom. Diagnosis: Stupid. Discard."
- A few minutes later
"Listen to this sentence from my speech. I can't believe I'm writing Communist shit. This is probably where my mom thinks I'm becoming a Commie."
SDQ: Shipyard workers, metal workders, sailors, farmer, anyone who works hard for their living - Stalin is your hope for the future, a hope that will give your children and yourself a better life than you could have ever dreamed of.
ME: Ok, I'm convinced. I wanna be a Commie too!
- Me and SDQ on Stalin
"I'm going to start calling it AOStalin."
- SDQ on picking a new nickname for AOL... She seems to have Stalin on the brain
"Dude, so am I. SO MAD. All my Olympic dreams are being crushed like an old tomato under the boot heel of Mean People."
- SDQ was pissed that the Swedes lost in the Olympics to the Belarussians
"How un-fun. And un-Olympic. Olympia is such a pretty name."
- Hm. I think she's weirder than ME.
"Is he wearing a manbracelet?"
- In reference to what appeared to be a bracelet around Mike Modan's wrist
"Dude, you're like calculus, computers, and I'm over here, 'I can't figure out a website that apparently 38257932895 other people can.' "
- SDQ on Lissa's complaint about her lost Calculus book
"That'd make a good tabloid story. Along with the 'Ku Klux Klan Skeletons Found in Titanic Life Ring' story I saw the other day."
- In repsonse to Vicky's comment about Tim Connolly being a holy virgin
"Ok, ok, Anton Ohno is weird-looking, but Anton Sikasngioashofanisnfdaosn I can tolerate."
- On Anton Sikhuralidze
"It's like, a fake dog."
- On chihuahuas
"So to me, computers are like black holes: They're bad, but no one knows what's actually going on."
- On the badness of computers
" 'Anyways, when the main character died, his last words were...'remember this my pirate brothers...ahoy.' Then he died,' Sean stated."
- The birth of the 'ahoy' craze, as started by RW
"The deer have more to do than us humans."
- On living in Marquuette, Michigan
"There is no life here."
- During a particularly weird chat
"Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?"
- She's a roller hockey goalie, so she's allowed to be insane
- She says this whenever Shanny scores
"Well, nothing goes on in Marquette. I can tell you about dancing deer, but that's about it."
- On the banality of life in Marquette, Michigan
"We're by the ocean, we're by the sea. When we laugh, we go hehehe."
- The first verse of her Rocky Rock Friends song.
"We're the Rocky Rock Friends. There's Myrtle, and Timmy, and Gregory. Fuller and Justice, and old man Bob who lives by the treeeeeeee."
- The rest of the song :P
"I'm busy trying to shove JoeSteve back in his box and keep him separated from Alex's Ozziebobblehead...otherwise they get very creepy."
- On our bobblehead dolls, who have lives of their own
"My computer doesn't talk to me."
- In reference to my talking computer
"Yeah, in French I think his name means very gay or something like that."
- On Colorado Avalanche player, Alex Tanguay
"Yeah, that's why I didn't get the sign. Because apparently non-child molesting homosexuals and dykes not on bikes and jews from normal synagogues were ok."
- Cassidy, on an ignorant anti-semitic homophobic's protest sign
"On a side note - hamsters can swim. Not well, not willingly, but they can."
- In reference to burning a cat and exploding fishes
"Tappa tappa tappa."
- In reference to her tap teacher's teaching style
"Gonads and strife in the lightning!!!!!"
- We randomly say that to one another
"Kill...uhm...kill someone's hamster or something and have them angst over it. See, that'll work."
- On character death in a fic of mine.
- She says this a lot. I think it's Chrissy expressing joy
"Ok, they can have hoppy hat sex if ya want."
- After I misread 'happy hot sex'
"Oh good, someone share with me the insanity of Boydlet. I don't know why I call him that, but I can't stop."
- On a nickname she bestowed upon Boyd Devereaux of the Red Wings
"Do you care if he's a gay virgin?"
- To Vicky on her favorite hockey player, Tim Connolly, who is apparently a good little boy who doesn't like girls
"You want no life?" I'm waiting for my handmade soap to dry."
- Lissa, on her lack of life. Poor Lissa.
"If one is thought of as offensive looking, it is illegal for him to be in public during the day. So this means that if the Milwaukee Admirals sign Mike Ricci, then he can't play day games?"
- In reference to a dumb Milwaukee law
"I feel like the entire world's playing an April Fool's joke on me..."
- Lissa, after she lost her calculus book and couldn't install Baldur's Gate on her computer
"Someone shoot me... Have I ever mentioned that I find John Rocker attractive...at least until he opens his mouth?"
"Runs over and huggles Tammy until she turns plaid."
- After Tammy mentioned she was being neglected in chat
"Not in my backyard utensils! Go back to China!"
"I'm out like a fat kid in dogeball."
"Go drink a bottle of yourself Evian."
"There's something about dancing chickens."
- On why she liked the new Burger King chicken Whopper commercial
"My mom thought sending me to a Catholic school would turn me racist."
- About how her mom wanted to bring her up in a diverse background
"My mom is a pack of lies."
- A few seconds after making her preceding comment
"I'm out trick-or-treating on the highway dressed as a deer."
- One of her away messages
"Fedor should get run over by a steam roller, or caught in the spokes of a ferry going over to Canada."
- On RW's Red Wings story
"Napalm spelling sparkly kitten whore."
- One of our nicknames for Jesse Wallin, ex-Wing and current Flame (AHAHAAA)
"Email, how are you all?"
"How can you hate Vrbi the Love Bug?"
- She doesn't understand how anyone could hate Radim Vrbata, ex-Av and current Hurricane
"Yelle looked like yum on a cracker."
- On the Colorado Avalanche's Better Halves Calendar
"I'm down with Sparkly Whore Kitten."
- Her new nickname for Jesse Wallin
"Lol, Iggy's hot. He would have been REALLY hot back in his day."
- On the 40 year old Igor Larionov ^_^
"We are so on crack."
- Following an odd chat session. I think she's right.
"I started out as a whore, then I smoked a joint, then I was a chorus member for a reeeeeeally long time, then I went into a coma because of my, uh, habits...and at the end I was a whore again."
- On a role she played in a high school play
"School blows monkey nuts."
- And how
"Patty is the friggin' devil's child...and I swear... This is not the cup of coffee I just drank."
- On Patrick Roy and a cup of coffee that was not the cup of coffee she just drank
"Hasek wears a furry bra!"
- On a picture of a shirtless Dominik Hasek. Oh God. I did not NEED that mental image.
"That's still so gross I'm gonna start seizing."
- In reference to Sergei Fedorov and Anna Kournikova using Viagra. Just to let you know, I wasn't involved in this part of the chat :P
"Sergei just needs to be beaten over the head with a tire iron...a few dozen times."
- On Fedorov, again
"MY TEETH ARE FLOATING!"
- On her anger at being unable to use her bathroom...
"They're going at it with each other every 5 seconds. Like...fighting, not macking out."
- Tammy on a hockey game between Boston and Philadelphia
"If they were...I'd be taping it."
- An addendum to the preceding comment :)
"Who wants to play poker for kittens?"
- No clue what that means
"Oh, by the way, we're now calling Jesse 'Chips' so we can have Fisch and Chips."
- Another new nickname for Jesse Wallin
- Me on Vladimir Putin, during the whole "We're Gonna Leave the Olympics" shenanigans
"I hate computers. And Vladimir Putin."
- Me, ranting on Putin
"I heard my computer cursing me and I was like, what?"
- When I turned on the 'speak' function for chats, and my computer began swearing at me
"Death to computers."
- Me on my evil!iMac
- In honor of NewsRadio
"I want to call myself Wonder Woman. Like Dom."
- In reference to a story
"My chat has a man's voice. And my IMs have women's voices."
- On my talking computer
"My brother exploded our fishes' stomachs. I was so mad at him. Then I cried."
- Me, reminiscing on the day that my brother killed six of our fighting Beta fish
"Keep trying to delude yourself. You know you love Baby Chick Hair."
- Me trying to convince Chrissy that she is in fact in love with Brett Hull of the Red Wings
"I didn't say ANAL probe."
- Me to my friends at dinner, when we were talking about alien probes
"My muses are quitters, I think."
- Me on why I can't finish fics
"His mole is slowly taking over his face. You wait and see."
- Me on Enrique Iglesias
"Once you get poked enough, you get used to it."
- Me on hospitals
"Err, with needles."
- A few seconds later
"Gary Buttmunch sucks ass."
- Me on NHL commissioner, Gary Buttmu - er, Bettman
"I like basebally."
- On baseball
More to come.