Title: Queer Life

Author: Yih

Warning: Slash. Don't flame and if you do, I guess that mean you can't read can you?

Based on? I have no clue, it popped into my head.

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Character Quirks (the data sheets)

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Simon Xu (Si) bioengineering major, sociology??? 5'8, 140lbs, black hair and dark chocolate brown eyes. 175 IQ. Gay. Introverted, naïve, perfectionist, shy, intense. Loves to sleep, reads anything, enjoys solitude. Dislikes loud people and places.

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Livvy Lee (Liv) creative writing, sociology 5'4, 110lbs, dark brown hair and light brown eyes. 130 IQ. Bisexual. Bipolar, random, blunt, moody, fanatical. Loves to shop, adores cats, writes like crazy. Dislikes superficiality and the monotony of life.

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Lucas Vaughn (Luc) international business 5'11, 160lbs, light brown hair and hazel-gray eyes. 150 IQ. Straight. Extroverted, thrill seeker, easy going, witty, honest. Loves to lounge around and hang out with his close friends. Dislikes liars and people with weak wills.

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London Dermott (London) english

5'7, 135lbs, light blond hair and blue eyes. Straight. A Junior dating a senior. The object of Liv's crush.

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Mum- Liv's mother, a wonderful cook, divorced once, now happily married.

Will- Liv's stepfather, filthy rich, stern but generous.

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Phase 1: Indeterminate

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1.1: Coming Out (October 17, 2003)

"I have a problem."

"So what's new?"

"You aren't very sympathetic are you?"

His best friend laughed and placed her feet on his lap. "You didn't know that? After all the years that we've known each other; after all the years that we've been best friends? You didn't know that? That's unreal. That's hilarious. That's---"

He pushed her feet off his lap and got up from his seat and placed his hand over her mouth to shut her up. Most days her over dramatic exaggeration was funny, but today wasn't one of those days. "I have a serious problem," he enunciated clearly. "I have a huge problem."

"So spill it," she remarked when he dropped his hand. "I can't help you if you keep saying you have a problem and don't tell me what it is, you know."

He took a deep breath. Did he just come out and say it? "I'm."

"You're. what?"

"I think I'm."

"Just say it! You know I'm not patient and there's this really good TV show that's about to come on and you're blocking the telly, prat."

What was it with her and British slang? "Maybe I should just wait until after the damn show."

"You can if you want," she remarked, "but you're gonna have to wait a few hours 'cuz tonight's marathon Sunday! There's Alias and the Practice to watch! Watching Sydney makes me wanna be a spy, like really."

"I'm gay."

She blinked. Then she blinked again. "Well, I'm bisexual," she stated nonchalantly. "What's the big deal?"

"Well," he muttered, scratching the back of his head, "I don't really know. I think I'm gay."

"You think?" She arched an eyebrow. "You think? You don't know? You think? You don't just think you're gay. You have to know that you are, like I know that I'm bisexual. I mean sure, guys and penises are hot but girls are bloody sexy too."

"How do you know?" he croaked. "How do you know?"

"What makes you all hot and bothered?"

"I've never been whatever you call it bothered and hot."

"How old are you again?"

"You know how old I am."

"Humor me."

"I'm 18."

"You're 18, and you're a normal and healthy male, right?"

He nodded.

"And you're telling me that you've never had an erection? A wet dream of any kind?" her voice was gradually building up volume. "Wow, I'm 'pressed. I mean bloody hell, are you a eunuch?"

He rolled his eyes. "I've had an erection." He blushed after he said this. "Sort of."

"Sort of? How do you have a sort of erection? You either have one or you don't. There is none of this in between business, Si."

"Well," didn't she know how incredibly embarrassing this was?, "it got kind of firm."

"If it got firm, you had an erection, baby boy. My goodness, I've known you ten years and you only tell me now that you didn't even know if you had an erection or not? You've been missing out. If I'd known you were this innocent, I would have despoiled you. I always figured that you knew everything, you smart ass you."

"Just because I know scientific theories and philosophical arguments doesn't mean I know anything about sex."

"Obviously, but considering you have the orientation of orbitals memorized for the f-orbitals, I'd figure you'd known the entirety of the Karma Sutra."

"What's the Karma Sutra?"

She groaned, loudly. "You're kidding me, right? An 18 year old male with the I.Q. of 175+ doesn't know what the Karma Sutra is?"

"No," he responded dryly, "I don't, so why don't you inform me, Livvy?"

She cringed. "Don't call me Livvy. You know I hate that name. My mum has this obsession with names ending with the e sound. I just love the whole name system she has with Jamie and Lily," she mumbled sarcastically. "Yeah, really. I get to share my initials with a sister that's as opposite of my being as can be."

"Off topic."

"Sorry, but your fault. You know I dislike it when anyone calls me Livvy. Do yourself a favor and remember that I prefer being called Liv."

"Your mom calls you Livvy."

"Yeah, so I'm whipped, you don't need to remind me."

"What's the Karma Sutra, Liv?"

She grinned deviously, he was almost afraid. "It's a timeless book on sexual positions. The pictures are well worth the price, especially when the figures look like sticks and they're in the most erotic positions imaginable."

"You're a sick pervert, you know that?"

"I'm a normal, hormonal female," she retorted. "You, however, are not. So, when did you decide that you were gay?"

"Yesterday."

"Yesterday, and you're stressing out about it today like your whole world depends on whether or not you're truly homosexual? You make it sound like the crisis of a lifetime. That's not like you, Si. You're usually thoughtful and contemplative, too reflective by far. You need to go out and have some fun once in a while."

"I seriously thought about it yesterday, but the thought has been on my mind for months."

"That's more like the Simon Xu I know and love."

"Do you think I am?"

"That you're gay?"

He nodded.

She shrugged. "Maybe, but I don't really know. We could always test it out though."

"Test it out?"

"I could find a really hot and sexy and drool-worthy guy and see if it gives your penis a rise."

He choked and sputtered. She, being the good friend that she was, hit his back hard until his throat started operating regularly. "You're joking, right?" She had to be joking; she was always pulling hoaxes like this. A habitual droll she was. "You're not serious, are you?"

She stared at him point blank and a miserable feeling of dread settled in the pit of his gut. "I'm dead serious. How else are we gonna find out whether you're gay or not? Testing it out is the best policy. And if we really wanted to make sure, maybe we ought to hire a call boy to give you a bj. Then we'll really know, besides you probably need one. No wonder you're all uptight."

He should have known. He had known her for ten years after all, and he should have known she always went through with her wildest and craziest ideas. Queer girl that she was. "What's a bj?"

"You're not serious, are you? You don't know what a bj is? AIYA!"

"Liv, what's a bj?"

"It's stands for blowjob." She studied his facial expression and sighed heavily when she saw no recognition. "For a genius, you are ignorant. A blowjob is when someone, in your case possibly a fellow guy, stimulates your genitalia with his mouth to make you orgasm."

"Oh." He blushed furiously. "Oh."

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Author's Note: My first original slash story ever. It'll be done in a continual short story style. Comments are highly appreciated. I know this is different style than normal for me (that you've seen), but I think it works. Hope you liked it!