Here I sat glancing out the window for some kind of inspiration... but nothing came to me. I jotted random words on my piece of paper, biting my nails with nervousness. My pencil had been chewed to hell along with my crooked bitten nails. I sat in my desk in my quiet room, trying to find something to write about. I, Ophelia Richler, was destined and determined to be a writer or journalist. I could not work in class; I found it too distracting. But I still had no idea what to write about at home.

Sighing, I thrashed the pencil down and it rolled off the desk...and I heard a rattling sound... I looked up to the ceiling and all of a sudden pieces began to slip from the roof. The cracking noise oppressed my beating heart and I, stood there, still like ice. The pieces of the ceiling fell to my feet and the dust trailed on my leg. I brushed efficiently, desperately trying to wipe away the dust. I blinked for half a second and the dust was gone. I looked up to the ceiling and it was as if it never cracked or pieces fell from it. In fact there were no pieces of rattled ceiling on the floor. No dust, or particles in the air, nothing. I shook myself violently and realized I had been delusional. I shifted my weight off of the chair and I felt tipsy, I gyrated until I hit the floor. My head banged against the desk. I tried to not let the darkness prevail me, but it was too late, my eyelids grew heavy, and I was sent to a deep sleep.

Days later, the ceiling caved in while my mother was home, rummaging through my room. I saw it in my head; she went through my drawers, flipped my matrice and sifted through the papers in my desk. She was trying to find a diary, a trunk full of my thoughts, a shoebox with hidden letters, anything so she could expose me to the group home in town, to show them that I was insane. She attempted her best to get me kicked out of the house, and to be put in a jail for minors. She wanted me in jail because I punched her in the jaw one time. It's just that she came too close to my face, and kept jabbering, so I whacked her mouth, sending her landing square on the floor. She just wanted me out. I dreamed and prayed that something would kill her. Slowly and painfully. I got my wish that was for sure. When I came home one afternoon, the ceiling had caved in, just like I experienced, or... saw. I ran to my room and a huge chunk of a brick was clumped down on my mother's head. The blood trailed all over my book collection. I trudged over to her body and found a sheet of paper in her hand. It was one of my poems, and I was unaware of what her last impression of me was. She knew I was crazy, and my poems concluded it. I just stared at her lifeless body for what seemed hours on end. I picked up the cordless phone and dialed 911, reporting my mother's death. I had no idea what caused the ceiling to fall, but I had somehow been the cause of it.

My mother was placed in a morgue and I had to attend her funeral, and even say a eulogy. Why should I have to do it? I pondered over that every night before the funeral. I hated the woman, I wished she would die, I wished vengeance upon her and it happened. The day of the funeral, I sat beside my weeping aunts, her pathetic sisters. My father was not here to attend the funeral. Unfortunately, my mother had driven him to a state where he could not handle her violent outbursts. He told me to take care of her, and told me to give her loving tender care. I knew he loved her, but I did not. She failed me as a mother a long time ago, I treated like dirt just as she did to me. So I am sure my dad was unaware mother was dead. I was snapped out of my thoughts when the minister asked me to deliver the eulogy in memory of my mother. I removed myself from the pew, straightening out my long black dress as I made my way up to the pottum. Before I said a word, I surveyed the room. Old friends were seated in the back, and her sisters and brother sat up front, weeping.

I tried to appear upset, making my eyes water by keeping them open, making it look like I was crying. I sniffed and looked down at the speech I had prepared. All utter bullshit. I cleared my throat and read from the sheet:

"Dearest relatives, fellow friends, old friends, this is a sad time that will are all sharing together. My mother was a kind spirit, a loveable woman." I bit my tongue, preventing myself from saying anything insolent. "She spent many of her days fighting for her..." I muttered 'pathetic' under my breath, cursing myself if anyone heard. "Fighting for her life. She was an ill woman, with many health problems. I, as her daughter am saddened to the core, that I have to bury my mother at such an early stage in my life. She was MY mother, an enlightening soul." I felt like I was droning on and I felt sick to my stomach, I almost could not take this torture anymore. "But may my mother rest in peace... she will not be forgotten, she will always be remembered. And I... I'm sorry... that's all I have to say." I turned away from the crowd pretending to cry and wipe my tears, but I tried to stop myself from bursting out in laughter. What a senile bitch I was. The minister welcomed me with a hearty hug and whispered me a "God bless you". I pulled away from his grasp and started down toward the pews, sitting next to my aunt.

I returned to school the next day after the weekend, like nothing had happened. Like my mother had never died. Well my mother ceases to exist now, and I did not care. People who walked past me either stared, or gave me their condolences and sympathy. During first period I had to sit through another analogy from my history teacher. People were glancing at me, or maybe I was being paranoid. Maybe they were looking at me because it was my fault. It was my fault, it had to be. Why should I pay for it? I sighed and rested my head on my arms.

"Miss Richler?" A voice said beyond my thoughts.

"Miss Richler?" The voice repeated again. I looked up and it was my history teacher. I looked around and realized everyone had gone. The period was over, I felt embarrassed so I shoved all my books in my bag and apologized quickly.

"Wait. I heard about your mother." Here it comes, I thought, 'I'm sorry for your loss if you need to talk I'll be here blah blah blah shit'.

"Yeah and?" I snarled.

"I'm sorry to hear. My mother died when I was your age, it must be a tough time for you. Don't worry, things can only get better." He said from his experience, straightening his thick-framed glasses.

"It's really okay, really." I repeated it over and over again. It did not fucking bother me.

"Alright, I'm sorry. Anyways, you're going to be late for your next class Miss Richler, if things become to stressful you can leave the class whenever you like." I smiled and he smiled back at me.

I walked down the hallway. All of the voices seemed so familiar, ovulating through my head like violent winds. I could hear shrieking and it was pulsating through my temples. I felt as if my head would explode at any mere second. I tried to calm myself and perched on the floor below my locker. I banged my head fiercely against the metal locker. I could tell people were walking by, looking at me like I was psycho. Shards of the main window of the school hallway cluttered all around me. I tried not to step anywhere or catch any of the class on my shoes. I tumbled to the ground and my hands pounced into the shattered glass on the floor. Tears poured from my eyes as I felt the sharp prick of the glass indulge into my skin. I proceeded to lift myself up, but I only fell backwards into the glass. I felt myself become tipsy as I lunged forward to the window terrace. I blinked for one second and the bloodstains on my hands had dissolved, the shards from the window were no where to be found. All I was left with was a pounding headache from hitting my head on the locker.

Was I hallucinating yet again? A huge pit in my stomach felt like a deep hole shoveling through me. I felt as if death would happen again, but I did not want it to. I shook the feelings off. Surely I was seeing things because I was stressed with school, and I had to run the apartment by myself and get an extra job to pay bills. My aunts offered me to live with them, but I declined, I could handle myself I told them. That still did not conclude why I was having these visions, and why I was actually experiencing them. I brushed my shoulders and took a deep and cool breath. I walked over to the girl's washroom. I looked into the mirror and was disgusted with what I saw; a frail face with reddened eyes. I sighed and snatched a piece of paper towel, dubbing my forehead with the water from the tap. I felt a hand press brush against my side and I shivered. I turned around to see a smiling girl with concern in her eyes. I noticed that she was in my English class, but I never spoke to her. Her name was Amina.

"You don't look so good there. you look like a convalescent mental patient recovering from brain surgery." She giggled and offered to dab the paper towel against my forehead.

"Thanks a lot." I managed to throw in a weak smile. A convalescent mental patient is what I felt like at the moment, but I was no way near recovering from these visions.

"I heard about your mom. my mom died when I was ten years old." I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah, seems like everyone has had a mom who died. I don't give a fuck that she's dead." I blurted out and I sounded bitterer than I intended to be. And she would probably look at me with bafflement or disgust. I was wrong, she actually chuckled.

"I take it you weren't very close?"

I did not feel like sharing my personal life with her, but with those sweet seraphic eyes, I could not resist. "No, for the past five years all we have done is fight. We got into minor quarrels but. I just gave up on her. I was tired of her lies. She acted like I was the spawn of Satan for a daughter."

She nodded. "Yeah, I was only twelve but my mom and I hardly ever got along all of my life. Don't worry I know how that feels. Just shocking that she's gone, I was surprised."

"I know what you mean." Suddenly I had the vision of the ceiling collapsing on my mother's head. I thought back that I was probably the cause of it somehow. I felt overwrought with all of this stress and I needed to shake all of these feelings away.

"I have a study period on the library, I should get going." I felt disappointed and had the urge to squeeze her in my arms. It was the first time that someone did not give me sympathy and looked at me with commiseration. Then I realized I had a free period. I insisted to the principle to take another English course. He felt it was unnecessary because I was already in advanced English, Writing and Journalism. My eyes beamed with delectation, I could join her in the library.

"May I join you? I've got a free period, I should get some studying done in the library, but you could keep me company." She smiled and accepted my offer.

Before third period, the morning announcements started and Amina sat at the opposite end of the table, still smiling at me. I smiled back and just revised my notes for English class. The morning announcements blared through the PA.

"Good morning fellow students. Today will be soccer tryouts after school for the junior varsity boy's team. Be sure to come out, and be aware of the fees. We also have the school play soon. Auditions will be in Mrs. Houston's homeroom next week, be sure to pick up a form. These are all the announcements today but just one more thing. be cautious that there is construction workers right across the street, working on the road. Be careful not to drive near there or sit outside at lunch just for today. Thank you and these are your morning announcements. Have a good day. Your principle, Mr. Kinsley."

"Be cautious Amina, be cautious." I said mockingly towards the principle. She smiled coyly and sweetly as her response.

We decided to have lunch together today. I hardly had any friends, just a few acquaintances but no close friends. To my surprise she only had a couple friends. She said she only sat in a corner with her "crowd" and the talked about insolent and boring things.

The sound of the bulldozer clattered and resounded all through the library. It was too hard to get any work done. So I closed my books and put them in my bag. Amina did the same thing.

"You take a lot of English courses don't you?" She asked, glancing at my journalism textbook.

"Yes I do, advanced, writing and journalism." She eyed me as if she was impressed.

"Not bad. I still can't spell that well, and my grammar isn't so great either."

"Well hey, if you're ever having any trouble just let me know, I could tutor you if you're really having difficulties. Not that I'm the best, but it is my favorite subject." I smirked, trying not to sound like a know-it- all.

"I'd like that. I could certainly use your help. Especially with exams coming up next month and all."

We were interrupted by a sudden shrill in the main foyer of the school. Shrieks abounded the room along with a crashing and banging sound. I stood my Amina's side as we rushed out of the library to see what was going on. What I saw had damaged my thoughts for life. and scarred my heart. Window shards filled the main hallway with several students sprawled out with blood smeared all over their bodies. The window was crushed by the digger and handle of the bulldozer from across the street. The whole school came rushing in the hallways trying to help out the severely crushed and unconscious pupils. Amina grabbed my arm and tears filled her eyes.

"What's happening?" She asked shuddering with despair in her voice.

Students limped from side to side, but the bulldozer that spun out of control sliced several people apart who were sitting on the window ledge. Dead bodies lay in a pool of blood, with flesh torn and decapitated bodies. A trail of blood made it's way to the tip of my shoes and I gawked at it. It was from a young female, her hands were preyed apart and her head had been crushed to death. Amina began to sob as she squeezed my arm tightly as possible. I covered her eyes and told her to keep her head down. I took her hand and rushed out of the back exit of the school, away from the collision of struggling and dead bodies. I sat her down in the corner and brushed strands of long strawberry blond hair out of her face. I was ashamed of myself because of these horrible ordeals, extremely less than ordinary events happened. Two events. First the death of my mother and the vision, and then the deaths of the students and my vision and hallucination. What was going on? I was the cause of this mess somehow.

"All those dead bodies.the screaming.the glass. all of that blood." Amina said in pieces, quavering and shaking violently, not managing to finish a full thought or sentence.

"It's my fault." Tears availed me and I held her hands tight this time. "It's my fault."

"It's my fault." Tears availed me and I held her hands tight this time. "It's my fault."

I went home from school early and lay in bed for the remains of the day and night. I left the phone off the hook and kept the lights off. Shadows plastered all over the wall, and the wind was violent that night. Trees banged against my windows, causing a silhouette effect on the walls of my room. Some nights were lonely, and hard to bear because I had no one to hold me at night. It seemed pathetic, but I needed someone to kiss me on the forehead and tell me that the nightmares are insubstantial, that they could never be real. But so many people from the school were dead, even my mother was dead. I had seen faltered images of dead and bloody students run through my mind. I wished that I could cease them from entering my mind. My mind drifted off when I thought of Amina. For the short time that I befriended her, this had to happen. At least I made a new friend. Maybe I could share my thoughts and aspirations with her, I could only hope. Although the nightmares were real, and I was causing these deaths some how. I turned to my side, sighing heavily and trying to drift off into a peaceful sleep.

School was cancelled the next day. To my disappointment because I could not see Amina. Memorials were held for all the dead students and the bulldozer accident was all over the news. It was reported that the driver pulled a wrong lever and the bulldozer went spinning out of control. Coincidence, I did not think so, not after my premonitions and hallucinations. I stopped watching the daily news on television and started out the door to take a walk. It was sunny and the air was crisp, slightly cold October weather. I buttoned up my coat and threw on my scarf to keep warm.

"Ophelia?" A tiny voice said from behind me. I smiled, it was Amina, and I rushed over to her and gave her an enormous hug. I hugged her like she was an old friend, and as if I had not seen her in years.

"Wow, thank you." She smiled, managing the tiniest smile possible.

"Sorry." I frowned, pulling away from her grasp. "Just needed to hug someone."

She giggled. "No worries, why don't we sit down on the bench for a while and talk?" I obliged her offer and we sat on the bench underneath the tree.

"I've been having nightmares Ophelia." She shivered. "About all of those people. I can't believe what happened. And it actually happened at our school, right in front of our eyes."

"I've been having nightmares too, more than nightmares."

"More than nightmares? What do you mean?"

I slightly slapped my mouth, covering it to prevent me from saying more. I already said too much. She looked at me concerned, wondering what was running through my mind. "Ophelia what do you mean?"

"We only just met. and you'd think I was crazy if I told you."

"Doesn't matter, I don't have many friends anyway. I was glad I ran into you today, there was no one could talk to about what happened. We'll get to know each other anyway, why would I think you are crazy?" She looked at me with those beautiful angelic eyes again. Her smile warmed me.

"Because I'm not normal, what I feel is not normal." I looked down to the ground, avoiding her gaze.

"Who is normal anyway? You can tell me anything. I won't run away, I promise." I hoped that she meant that, I hoped she would not think I was some kind of psycho.

"You read the part in the paper about how my mother died right?" She gulped and nodded shyly. "The ceiling caving in was no accident. Or, I caused it somehow." She looked at me uncertain, eyes bulging. "It's not what you think, no I didn't make the ceiling collapse physically but I saw it in my head."

"What like some kind of premonition?" She stared at me, never taking her eyes off of me.

"Sort of. I don't know, I was just trying to write something for my journalism class. All of a sudden I hear this rattling, and the ceiling caves in on me. The next thing I know, I blink, and then it's as if it never happened. So the next day my mother dies, and I don't even know how or why the ceiling caved in on her. Then, when I went to my locker yesterday, I looked over to the window and all of a sudden something broke the window and I fell forward into the glass. or I thought I did. I had blood on my hands, I could feel the shards, and I could even hear screams in my head. I blinked and the blood was gone, along with the shards from the window. The window was not even broken or touched." I felt as if I was a windpipe losing all of its air from all the talking I did. She looked at me in awe. I expected her to run away shrieking or calling me a fucking psychotic freak. "You think I'm a freak, you think I need to be locked up don't you?"

She shook her head. "No, no. I never believed in these kinds of things, like psychics or premonitions, but I always thought about it. And if what you're saying is true, maybe you can predict death, and you can feel when it's coming."

"That doesn't make sense. I must be insane." I tried to suck my tears back in my eyes.

"You aren't insane! I believe in what you said. But you weren't the cause of these deaths, why would you even think such a horrid thing?"

"Because Amina, maybe I was supposed to die in these events. Maybe that's why I seen them."

"But you heard the screams when the window broke, it couldn't have been intended for your death. Maybe you just have a gift." She smiled.

"A gift? My gift is seeing death? That's no gift at all." I clenched my fist, in fear of another death vision or hallucination.

"Maybe, maybe not. Let's hope that I'm not the next brutal death." She laughed. I frowned at her. This was no laughing matter. I only knew Amina for a short amount of time, but I could not lose her. My only friend. "Amina don't you dare say that! I don't know what I would do if you died on me."

"Hey, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. You could be connected to these deaths, but you did not do anything wrong. You never caused any of these."

"I hope you're right."

School started up again, and Amina and I hung out with each other everyday. I tutored her in English and she progressed quite well. I kept busy by going out to places on the weekends with her. She was my new best friend, and for all of those weeks I had not one single hallucination or vision. She had kept me company all those nights. I told her how lonely it became at night, so she slept over whenever she could. When I became exhausted from the schoolwork and my part time job, she offered me some money to pay the bills each month. I declined, but she insisted to give me some money each month. I shared my past with her, and all of my thoughts and secrets. She did the same with me, and it finally felt comforting to open up to someone. She cheered me up and made me laugh when I was down, she did everything possible just to get a chuckle or smirk out of me. She was the best friend I could have ever asked for.

One night when Amina and I shared a pizza, and had our Friday movie night session, there was a knock on the door. My dad was standing there, crying his head off. He bear hugged me and leaped into the apartment.

"Dad." I said, baffled why he had even came back.

"I'm sorry I never came sooner. I heard about your mother months ago, I couldn't come and face you or look you in the eye."

"So you did know about her death." My voice trailed off. Amina stood up and said she was going to leave. I told her to stay, just to go sit in my room for a bit.

"It's nice to see you have a friend." He smiled meekly.

"Gee thanks dad. And it's nice to know that you left your daughter here all alone for months when you know about mom's death." He looked down to the floor and tried to stop himself from crying again. "I'm sorry Ophelia, I'm really sorry." My dad was a normal dad and he hardly had flaws. Just his temper, his awful temper. He never touched a drink in his life, and the same with drugs or smokes. He was only flawed emotionally, and he tended to run away when something bad happened within the family.

"I don't need that five letter word. I've been doing fine without you, and without mom. She didn't care about me anyway."

"That's not true Ophelia, your mother loved you very much."

I rolled my eyes. "No she didn't dad, it got worse after you left. You can't say anything, you don't even know." I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair. "So where are you staying?"

"I was hoping I could move back in here."

"No dad, I've been managing fine without you thank you very much. I have a job and I'm busy with school. I'm doing just fine I tell you."

"But you could focus more on your school work if I was here. You wouldn't have to have a job at all."

"I don't mind it, really. You can move in, but please, not for a while." He nodded and understood what I was saying. But I could detect the hurt in his eyes.

"I'll keep visiting though alright? I'll be on my way, please say hi to your friend for me"

"I will dad, thanks for coming back." He closed the door behind him. I felt a wave of guilt rush through my stomach. I should not have been so cold towards him. I was angrier than ever because he never called or wrote to me. Especially when he knew about mother's death. I just needed time for now. Amina crept out from my room and looked at me with concerned eyes.

"I'm sorry, but I listened in on your conversation. I'm sorry, please don't be mad."

I smiled widely. "Don't be sorry, we share everything together. Say, how about we go for a movie tonight instead of staying in."

"Absolutely. We'll take my car."

Amina and I drove off into the night, it was after seven and we planned to catch a late movie. We talked about random things, and what movie we were going to see. I gripped the window ledge and felt the wave of guilt inside of me again. I closed my eyes and I felt my stomach heave with pain and uncertainty. Amina gripped my hand and asked if I was all right. I could not respond, I just felt so numb I could not even make a move. I opened my eyes and as we drove by, I saw my dad walking on the sidewalk. A blue and white bus was passing by; the wheels of the bus strained and made a creaking noise. He crossed the street, looked over at me smiling and waving. I waved back and the bus bashed into his side, dragging his body along the road. Blood filled the quiet street. I screamed as loud as I could and Amina pulled the car over to the sidewalk. I donned out of the car and ran over to my dad's side. I held his hand, and he felt cold as ice. Blood was dripping from his head and sides, but he still had a smile on his face. My father was dead, this time I knew it was my fault. If I had not have decided to go to the movies on that night. If I had not been so harsh with him, he would be relaxing in our apartment. The vision of him smiling and waving at me stuck in my visions like a brick paralyzing my body. The ambulance came and Amina stood there crying, not knowing what to say to me. I could not find the words to say to her now.

"Do you want me to drive you home?" She asked, underneath all of those tears.

"No, I'll walk."

"But it might not be safe."

"Doesn't matter, I deserve to die now. I fucking deserve to die."

"Did you see his death Ophelia?" She almost hesitated to ask

"No, but I felt it. I felt something. Anyways, I'll be off now; I'm not going to school tomorrow. My daddy's gone."

I turned away from her wiping the tears from my eyes and made my way back to the apartment. Now I was completely alone. I thought of all the "what ifs" but that did nothing for me. There was nothing I could do to bring my mom back, all of those students, and my father. I was unsure why the students died; it was like a missing link. My parents' deaths were obviously tied together, but why did the students die? I wish my dad never died, I felt like scum, I should have died instead. If Amina was next to die, I had to prevent it somehow.

I lay on my bed with distraught and fear raveling through my mind. It was more empty and lonelier than it ever had been. My legs, arms and temples were aching but I brought myself to rummage through old family albums. I looked through the couple of trips we took down to riversides and beaches across the country. It was times that my mother, father and I shared together when we were happy. We stopped taking photographs when I was eleven or so. That was when the fighting between them to began. I stayed out of it mostly. Usually I would sit by my door and peek out of the cracks to try and see them. But I could not, I only eavesdropped on them, that had definitely scarred me for life when they began hitting each other. I never had any brothers or sisters. I was basically on my own most of the time. I slammed the books down to the side of my bed and just sobbed in silent. Tears made me feel like a little girl again. I cried most of the time now, and it was all I could manage to do.

Weeks and weeks passed and Amina helped me through my father's death. We both saw him die, and I was sorry she had to see those entire students die, along with my father as well. She made me laugh as usual with her silly attempt at jokes. I tried to keep my cool and not start crying like a baby. But most of the time I found myself crying into Amina's chest without realizing. She did not mind, she was always there for me as the true friend she always was. She always brushed my long dark brown hair out of my face. She said that I needn't to hide my beautiful face behind my dark hair. The friendship between Amina and I developed into something more. The friendship grew each day, I felt as if she was my soulmate. Someone who I was looking for who would never leave my side, and love me no matter what. I shared my world with her, she shared hers with me. I do not know what I did to deserve such a wonderful friend. We took a walk on the park the last day of school. We shared thoughts about life together. She always made me think beyond the two lines, especially today.

"Do you think we'll see each other after we die?" She asked abruptly.

"After we die?" I asked puzzled.

"Yeah you know. what if we were meant to be friends here on earth? Or soulmates I mean. I wonder if we will go to the same place after we die. I never want to part from you, even after death." The thought sounded so morbid, but I strongly wished she was right. That her and I would still stick together even after death.

Suddenly the winds grew forceful and heavy. The sun disappeared under a cloud and all that was in the sky was dark gray clouds. This was it, this was it. I was going to lose Amina. I closed my eyes and I saw her body pounce against a tree from the pressure of the wind, knocking her skull hard enough to kill her. I opened my eyes, she was still holding my hand tightly. She knew when I got that look of death in my eyes, she knew. The winds gushed passed us and I threw her to the ground, tumbling on top of her, but preventing her from hitting her skull against the tree. I held her tightly to the ground, attempting to be stronger than the wind. I grabbed onto the bottom trunk of the tree and held her as tightly as I could. The storm passed, Anima was still in my grasp. She was still alive and breathing by my side.

"You knew I was going to die, you beat death!"

"Yeah." I smiled weakly, turning my head and the blood dripped from my skull. She shrieked loud which rang through my ears like buzzing bees. I could feel my body becoming week now, darkness almost availing me. She lay me down to the ground and cried into my chest. Her light strawberry hair doused with my blood and her tears. She held my hand close to her chest.

"I will always love you." She bent down and gave me a peck on the lips. Her lips warmed the coldness of my body for a split second. I tried to rush out the words before I died.

"And I will always love you. I did beat death, I beat it for you Amina. We will see each other, soon. I'll always be in your heart. I'll see you soon Amina, I'll see you." I choked on my last syllable and my eyelids grew heavy. "Soon." I took my last breath and I felt her squeeze my hand with all the power she had. I would see her soon, we would be in our own kingdom, roaming it together, being happier than we ever were on earth. I would always be inside of her, she would join me soon. If not, I would wait forever.

I saved her.I beat death for Amina.