Chapter 33
"I said pass the beer," a slurred voice mumbles, and then a loosely
clasped hand comes into my field of view before I realize that Josh is indeed
talking to me.
"You're drunk," I retort, making absolutely no move to reach into the
cooler next to me and hand him the object of his desires. It's not my policy to
give a drunken man more than he can handle.
"Yes, and I plan to get drunker; now please pass me a beer."
His hand wiggles in front of me insistently, tempting me to bite it off. I
would too, considering my less that social mood right now. Seba and I must be
the only two sober people here since Elizabeth snuck off a while ago to make a
phone call, though I don't know who she'd be calling at this hour in the night. There must be at least twenty people in here
if not more; the TV's on way too loud, but the heavy metal music playing over
it makes it inaudible and the air is so stuffy, the cigarette smoke seemingly
imbibing every pore of me.
"Beer," Josh insistently pleads. Anything to make him stop whining,
and against my better judgment I pass him the refreshment. There is the
distinctive pop of the can opening, a satisfied burp, and the pleading stops
shortly thereafter.
I, however, am not interested in anything and anyone other than the sexy man
sitting across from me. His white shirt is undone three buttons down, giving me
a teasing peek of well-toned chest framed by a loosened blue tie. Add in the
carelessly rolled back sleeves and I want to scream with the tension I feel building
up inside me. Sebastian looks so positively delicious that I could walk up
there and kiss him senseless right now, before anyone would be the wiser. Naturally, I can't do that. Instead, I must sit patiently until that
busty half-drunk blonde gets her grubby hands off my boyfriend who is trying
his best not to be insulting. At least I hope that's the reason why he hasn't
moved away from her, because I think we might have a fight on our hand if
things prove otherwise.
Taking another small drink of the same beer I've been nursing all evening, I
wear my mask of indifference. I'm not
about to let some tipsy bimbo make me lose my cool. Besides, this is a day of
celebration. The graduation ceremony,
all three agonizing hours of it, at first went by quickly, and I cheered after
Elizabeth's speech, proud of our class valedictorian, but by the time they got
to the p's my butt was numb, and I kept trying to catch glimpses of Elizabeth
and Sebastian in the front rows, cursing the damn alphabetical seating arrangement.
Thus, it was with much relief that the final name was called, and I cheered as
loudly as everyone else, although perhaps not for the same reasons. I just
wanted to get out of there and spend the rest of the day with friends.
Unfortunately, that meant Sebastian, Elizabeth, and I ended up dragged by Josh,
Keith, and some others to a big party at a nearby hotel. Some seniors had rented two adjoining rooms.
Add liquor, music, pizza, and more people, most of whom I don't know, and it
was instant party, except I'm not much in the mood for such a big gathering.
However, it's our last big shebang together, and some of my friends I might
never see again, so I went along despite my instinct to flee the crowd. Sure, we still have summer vacation, but I'm
a realist, and I know people naturally drift apart, so I should try to make the
best of the situation.
"Hey, Eric brought a karaoke machine!" someone I don't know shouts over the
music, drawing a mix of groans and cheers from the room.
I, for one, hate singing in public. I'm
an artist, not a pop singer, so I devise a brilliant plan to avoid being
coerced into embarrassing myself. "I'm going to get some air," I announce.
"But…" Blondie begins to protest, then proves she's not so air headed after all
by shutting her mouth when I glare at her. I don't like leaving Sebastian in
her clutches, but what can I do? And if
I stick around much longer watching her giggle and hang all over him I might
say something not so very nice. "Seba,
do you want anything?"
"I.. uhh.. yes! I'd like something… to drink. And I.. uhh.. .need to pee!" he exclaims quickly, pushing
Blondie off of him.
"Hey," she whines then calls jokingly after Sebastian, "need a hand?" but he's
already halfway across the room.
That does it! I stalk out of the room, accidentally hitting Blondie and
a few other people in the shoulder as I weave my way to the bathroom. Pausing outside the closed door, I look
around and knock.
"Yes?" Comes the muffled voice of Sebastian from inside.
"Yo, it's me. Little pig, little pig, let me in."
The door creaks open, and Sebastian pulls me in and shuts the door. "Thank
god you got me away from there!"
Despite Seba's relief I'm still in a cranky mood from having to sit there and
watch that girl paw at him while unable to do much about it, so I reply dryly,
"Someone had to. You sure weren't trying very hard yourself."
"What?" he asks, his voice raising a few octaves. "What was I
going to do? It's every boy's dream to like blonde and busty. They would have
thought I was messed up if I told her off."
"You could have thought of something," I insist, leaning against the sink. "You could have told her earlier you needed
to get some fresh air, had to pee, wanted to get some pizza, or maybe had a
nasty contagious skin rash. The possibilities are endless."
Resting his hands on my waist, Seba nudges me to look at him. "You're so
cute when you're jealous," he says, kissing the space between my neck and my
collarbone.
If he thinks he's going to win me over that easily he's… aw hell. He's right.
Closing my eyes, I enjoy this moment alone, and my own hands find their way to
Sebastian's waist. When I open my eyes
again I'm looking into his warm hazel eyes, and my anger melts away. "Damn it.
I just can't stay mad at you."
"Of course you can't. There no use in wasting precious time when we could
be doing this."
Before I can ask "This what?" his lips are pressing insistently upon mine,
demanding entry. Without complaint I give in.
I open my mouth and his tongue spares with mine, filling me with the
taste that is so utterly Sebastian. My
baser instincts take over as the kiss deepens, and my hands run down the length
of Seba's back. He sighs softly against my mouth as his hands tangle into my
hair. It has been way too many hours since I've done this, and sitting there
for half the night starring at his disheveled self made me only want him more.
"You're so handsome," I whisper as the kiss ends, a beautiful flush
adorning Seba's face.
"Speak for yourself."
The urge to kiss him senseless takes hold of me once again, and desire takes
control. I'm pressing him into the wall
as my hands roam all over his body and my tongue plunges into the hot recesses
of his mouth. In the background the
beat of the music pounds and laughter and singing reverberates through the
walls, but easily I tune them out, savoring the familiar taste and feel of
Sebastian. Now this is how I wanted to celebrate tonight, not crammed into a
stuffy, smoky hotel suite with strangers. This is…
"Sebastian, are you in there?" The pounding on the door makes my heart
stop. "Seba-boy, open up!" I groan and sit down on the toilet
seat. Sure, I adore Liz, but her timing
sucks.
"Liz… what is it? I'm kinda busy in here," he answers in a wavering
voice.
"Oh?" She sounds amused. "I don't suppose you've seen Tobe-chan around, have
you?"
"Maybe," he retorts, his voice piqued with amusement, and I smile up
at him.
Liz pauses. "He's in there, isn't he? You're both in there!" Her voice rises a
notch in volume.
"Of course not, what kind of depraved pervert do you think I am!"
Seba exclaims back. "You know I can't pee in company!"
"Liar. You've got Tobe in there, and I know it. My woman's intuition tells me
so. Now open up and let me in, you dweeb."
"We can't compromise the valedictorian in such a manner. Rumors might get
around!"
"I'm taken. Besides, you two are the ones here with the shady reputations, and
if you don't let me in I'll post online in every forum I can find that picture
from that Halloween when I coerced you into wearing my Mom's pink bathrobe and
bunny slippers."
I stand and Seba makes an attempt to grab me, but slipping from his grasp, I
unlock the door and crack it open. "Get in, quick," I say quickly and
drag her in much in the same manner that Sebastian manhandled me a few minutes
before.
"So," Elizabeth begins, looking from one of use to the other, "I leave you
alone for ten minutes and you end up fondling each other in the bathroom? It
figures."
"What do you mean by that?"
"Oh come on, Tobe-chan, the way you two kept looking at each other in there all
night… I know you two well enough to recognize lust when I see it." She giggles. "It was so cute!"
Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Seba shifting uncomfortably. "It's
really not my fault. Damn testosterone… it makes me horny," he mumbles,
his cheeks reddening slightly.
"Then why don't we leave?"
"And go where?" I ask.
Liz smiles broadly, her eyes sparkling with mischief. "I got us a room. It can be just he three of us. We can grab a
few beers and some pizza then watch movies and gossip like hens all night."
"That sounds good," Seba agrees immediately. "It's an infinitely
more appealing idea than facing Blondie again. I might just be forced to run
out screaming in fear. She didn't seem to want to get the hint when I told her
that I am happily involved in a successful relationship. According to her
logic, all that can't be seen or repeated aloud is fair game to be had,"
he continues, a small frown marring his beautiful features.
"Blondie?"
Liz's eyebrows shoot up. I shrug and
explain. "She's some girl we'd never
met before, possibly from another school – a friend of a friend or something."
"And?"
"And what?"
"What'd you do?"
"Nothing, Lizzie, my Dear. There's
nothing I could do. Besides, it didn't matter."
She narrows her eyes, not believing my feigned indifference. "Liar. I know you better than that; you may
act cool, but I bet you were jealous as hell." I merely shrug again, and since
she knows I won't be of any help, she turns her attention to Sebastian. "So Seba, what happened?"
"Oh, nothing much, except she was ready to make my wildest fantasies come
true. Too bad for her my fantasies don't involve women," he relates
coolly.
"God, I hate people like that," I mutter, my mood darkened again by the memory.
"Ah ha!" Liz exclaims, pointing at me.
"So you were jealous!"
"Whatever." Time to change the topic. I don't want to come off any longer as
the obsessive, possessive boyfriend. "So are we going to go or hand around in
the bathroom exchanging witty barbs all night?"
Elizabeth is clearly contemplating teasing me a bit more, but I guess she's as
anxious as I am to blow this pop stand, and she nods. From her back pocket she takes out two card keys and hands one to
Sebastian. "Here. Room 269"
He looks questioningly at her, the card in his hand. "Aren't you coming?"
"I'll be up in a few minutes. I have to make a phone call first then I'll dash
back here, grab some food and drinks, and meet you up there."
"Sounds good to me," I say and snatch the key card from Sebastian. "Come on lead foot, before Blondie and her
two brain cells figure out you're still missing and come looking for you…
unless that's what you're hoping for."
Before he can answer, I slip out, cutting off his retort with the
bathroom door. "Slowpoke Sebastian," I
tease through the door, and happily leave the busy room.
The hallway in comparison is quiet, blissfully so, the noise from the party
muted by the thick walls and plush wall-to-wall carpeting. I'm well around the corner and halfway to
the elevator before I hear the door behind me open and close again, the
commotion of the room momentarily escaping and spilling out into the hallway in
full force. Then the relative peace
returns, broken only by the weak base beat from the party and the muffled sound
of sneakers on carpet. The silence is disturbed by the ding of the elevator,
and the metal doors open. I can hear Seba's footsteps stopping behind me.
"You better behave this time," Sebastian murmurs, coming up behind and
snaking his arms around my waist. "We don't want to be caught again,"
he adds, but I can hear the smile twisting his lips in his voice.
With the pressure of "keeping up appearances" gone, I take a deep, relaxing
breath. I didn't realize how wound up I
was getting, making small talk with strangers – for Keith and Josh and the few
we knew were not always around – and smiling that pleasant though counterfeit
little smile demanded of such social interactions. It's tiring. I do enough
of that at work without having to dance this dance during my free time as
well. "Don't I always behave?" My hands run along his arms and my hands
rest on his, covering them gently; I like the quiet strength in his hands, and
the warmth of his body, but even when we can't physically touch, I like just
knowing he's there… except, of course, when some bleach blonde bimbo is busy
ogling him. Then, I admit, I get a
little bit jealous.
"Yes. You always behave… behave badly," Seba grins into the crook of
my neck and as the doors of the elevator close behind us, I feel the
tantalizing heat of his kisses upon my neck. "Hurry up and pick the floor
or I might be forced to behave very badly too."
In one fluid motion I push the button taking us to the second floor and return
Seba's kisses.
~~~~~
The door handle presses into my back as Tobias pushes me against it, doing his
best to chase all coherent thoughts from my head with his demanding kisses. And
since I can't get enough of them and of him, it takes a few seconds before I
realize that we do indeed have the key to this blessedly empty room where a
comfortable and fluffy bed awaits a massive make-out session.
"T-tobe-chan…" I groan as he suckles at the skin between my neck and
collarbone. "Inside… we c-can go inside," I expel a hissed breath and
clutch his shirt as his tongue traces the length of my neck.
"Mmm." He fumbles with the card, sliding it into its slot. The little green light flashes, then Tobias
pushes the door open and we stagger inside, clinging onto each other like
drowning men.
"The door…"
"I see it," he mumbles against my flesh, kissing, suckling, and working to undo
the buttons of my shirt. There's a frantic, desperate nature to it all, but I
can understand. Liz will be up soon, so
we haven't much time alone, and there's no way we're going to make out with her
around. She'd be giggling and squealing and snickering nonstop both during and
for hours afterwards.
"The... desk!" I yelp, feeling the corner of the desk hit me in the hip.
"Sorry!" He touches the injured spot.
"Are you… okay…?" The kisses
stop. "What the…?"
Bewildered by this and the surprise in his voice, I crane my neck and look
behind me to be greeted by a large vase of bright pink and white flowers with
glossy green leaves. It's an impressive
arrangement, but it seems too lavish to be another hotel amenity. Reaching around me he plucks a small card
from between the fragrant blossoms, and a feeling of nausea and apprehension
settles in my stomach as I watch Tobias rip open the envelope.
"What does it say?" I breathlessly ask, though in my heart I already
know the neat message inscribed on the card. I've known it ever since Liz
pounced on us in the bathroom with that look on her face like she'd just won a
million bucks.
With a smile similar to hers, Tobias sets down the card and grabs both my
wrists securely immobilizing me within his grasp. "Surprise and happy
graduation! Consider this my gift to the two of you, so make like bunnies and
don't disappoint me. Love, Liz."
My cheeks burn with the confirmation of my suspicions. I struggle to fight hard
against the wave of shyness that washes over me and leaves my skin all goose
bumpy. "I-I guess this means she's not coming up?"
"Sure as hell hope not. That'd be pretty awkward, wouldn't it?" He captures my lips with his in a deep kiss
that leaves us both breathless. Our
eyes lock, and I can't look away. Then
something happens. Something foreign
flashes in Tobias's eyes, something, if I didn't know him better, that might be
seen as unease. "I… I'm going to… go
wash up." He caresses my cheek, plants
a light peck on my lips then steps back. "I… I'll be right back."
With Tobias in the bathroom, I walk across the room and sit heavily upon the
bed. I swallow awkwardly, trying to
calm the frantic beating of my heart. This is it, no interruptions, and
suddenly I feel the weight of my inexperience burning underneath the anxious
desire. For the first time ever we
don't have to take into consideration the outside world. Here we are, just Tobias and Sebastian, two
young adults in love. The realization of what we are about to do settles like a
great weight upon my chest and I sigh heavily.
It is in such times of unease that my brain works frantically to occupy itself
with other thoughts but the essential. Thus, my eyes settling upon the
assortment of flowers, I smile at the irony behind it all. You see, it's ironic
how of all the flowers in the world it's rhododendrons that sit on the table;
they are after all the flower of deceit.
But in a way, they are appropriate for the consummation of this moment,
because we have been nothing but deceptive towards everyone else but each other
and Liz. And funnily enough, Liz through deceit got us this room and pushed at
the walls of the invisible tension buzzing around us. Tonight, sitting in that
chair and starring at him I felt my desire bubble inside me and shrink in the
face of my fear. Thankfully, Elizabeth noticed our stalemate and took things
into her own able hands – she wasn't elected Valedictorian for nothing – thank God yet again for friends like her. My
eyes settle back on the rhododendrons, and my thoughts yet again turn to their
most appropriate meaning. Deceit has been a part of our lives this past year,
sometimes with good intentions behind it and sometimes out of sheer fear.
Tobias and I both hated and used it at our convenience, but how much it'll play
a role in our future I don't know, and no one can predict that. For now, there
is no need for its shield, and tonight I have no other intention but to be
truthful and honest with the man that I love.
I'm nervous. Wringing my hands I try to
dispel the butterflies in my stomach.
Maybe if I walk a bit? No sooner
do I stand up, however, then I feel the need to sit down again, and I plop back
down heavily upon the bed. Maybe I
should take off my shoes. Yeah. That'd be a good idea. It might help me relax and…
"You okay?"
Tobias is standing framed in the doorway, the harsh light from the bathroom rendering
him into little more than a silhouette.
I can't make out his expression, but his voice is laced with
concern. There's a lump the size of
Cleveland in my throat, and it's with effort that I swallow and stammer a
reply. "Y-yeah, w-why wouldn't I be?"
"I dunno." Silence. "It's just… I… " Tobias sighs heavily,
switches off the bathroom light, and crosses the room, but he doesn't stop by
the bed. Instead he stands by the
window and looks out through the gauzy drapes for several seconds at the evening
sky, the light of the city rising up from the horizon. Finally, after a long torturous silence, he
asks, "You're okay with this?"
"If you're thinking that you're forcing my hand, you're not," I
answer, my voice steady and confident, but that doesn't last for long. Although I want to get up, I find that my
legs refuse to support me, and I stammer onwards in my speech. "I… I'm
just nervous you know? I mean… I h-haven't done this… it's… just anxiety… it'll
pass," I exhale in one singular and broken breath.
"Would if make you feel better to know I'm nervous too?"
Tobias nervous? Sex fiend Tobias? Even
now, compared to me he's the epitome of cool, calm, and collected, but upon
reflection I realize he has been acting a little odd. His abrupt need to go to the bathroom and his unexpected
hesitancy make sense now. Though he
doesn't show it as obviously as I, Tobias has his doubts as well.
"Come here," I smile and pat the empty space next to me. "We
don't have to do anything if we don't' feel like it. I'd just like to cuddle
for now." My face is burning as my inner voice tells me the utter stupidity of
that sentence. We both know things are not going to stop at that invisible
barrier we both agreed to before. Not tonight.
Still facing away from me he bows his head and chuckles then says something
under his breath. With a swift motion
he draws the curtains closed, turns around, and smiles at me. Three quick strides carry him to my side,
and the bed sags a little under his weight.
"Sebastian…" He runs a hand
through my hair. "The night is young,
and I don't think I'll be satisfied with just that, not this time."
It's funny how he always calls me Sebastian in times when he is feeling most
serious. Otherwise he uses my pet name, or nickname, whichever one suits his
varying moods. Therefore I know better than to protest the quiet and very
serious affirmation of his desires. I would be a fool to when a similar desire
burns underneath my shyness. "Oh, well that's also fine," my hands
snake around his waist. "I'm yours to do with as you please with
tonight."
"Anything?" He strokes the curve of my
back and grins roguishly.
Then it all begins with a kiss.
~~~~~
It began with the lightest of kisses, a sweet tender parting of lips that
metamorphoses into a full blown, no holds barred, act of passion. Resistance,
even if I wanted to, is futile, and I yield to Tobias, glorying in his taste
and his touch. His tongue, warm and
pliant, runs over my teeth and explores my mouth with gentle urgency, a sign of
things to come. Our desires are
similar, not just the warmth of hands held, but the heat of skin upon naked
skin and the feel of two heartbeats against one another.
Breathing grows heavier now, and nimble fingers undo buttons and peel cloth
back to expose bare skin. With a
feather light touch Tobias runs his fingers along my body, tracing the jaw
line, moving along the slope of the neck, and following the collarbone to the
hollow between the two. He wraps his
finger around the silver chain from which hangs the Celtic ring, Christmas
present from him and symbol of our love.
The chain from which his own gift hangs I can glimpse above the neckline
of his shirt.
"Beautiful." Tobias licks his lips, and
I reach up, latticing our hands together loosely, and pulling him closer. "God," he speaks in an awed voice, "you
don't know how irresistibly perfect you are."
Stretched out upon the bed, the air feels chill against my heated flesh, and I
know I must be blushing like mad, but it can't be helped. "T-Tobe-chan…"
His eyes, normally brilliant green, are now dark, and the irises are large and
fathomless. He laughs, a deep, sensual
throaty sound, and runs his tongue along my chest, teeth grazing against skin,
and muscles involuntarily twitch as he lingers over nipples and other sensitive
spots. "Seba-kun, you're lucky I adore you so or I'd kick your delectable ass
you for calling me 'chan'."
A laugh bubbles to my throat when I open my mouth. I try to tell him something that is quickly forgotten as my
breath hitches and a deep, shuddering, involuntary groan slips past my lips as
his tongue and teeth tease sensitive skin. Through the haze of heat coursing
through me, I can feel Tobias smiling against me. He's enjoying this as much as
I am. His tongue flickers against mine
in a battle for dominance, and another moan escapes me as I shiver with
pleasure.
When he pulls back and I catch a glimpse of his desire-filled eyes I tremble. I
knew the strength of Tobe's desire was great, but until this very moment I had
not imagined the true intensity of the longing and yearning that resides inside
him. It's frightening and intoxicating to know that this exceptional creature
before me wants me so wholeheartedly. I could drown forever in the stormy green
eyes to be soothed forever by the winds of his love for me. I'm falling in love
with him all over again as he hovers over me, smiling so sincerely and exuding
so much love and care that it melts away the last bit of shyness and
apprehension wedged inside me. My heart swells, and the dam breaks, the ardor
of my own passion, desire, and love flooding every corner of who I am. I don't
think I've ever loved more clearly, more passionately and more wholly than I
loved at this moment. The image of his form shrouded in fluid darkness is
branded into my mind, my heart, my soul, and my whole being. Never again will I
be able to I recreate the utter magical perfection of this one moment, drinking
the image of each other, memorizing the curves and angles of each other's body
in the weak lamplight of a hotel room.
Suddenly needing to touch him, to run my hands down the smooth curves of his
back, I reach for him, wanting to touch him as he touched me, and wanting… no needing
to run my hands along every curve and angle. A fire burns below my belly, quenchable only by one thing. Where his body presses against mine I want
more, stronger contact. Driven by this
undeniable need, my hand moves beneath fabric, ardently stroking what I find
there, and Tobias gasps. Such a delicious sound. It's my turn now, and any remaining clothes are cast heedlessly
aside, baring the seed of my desire. My
hands rake down the sides of his body, feeling the smooth contours of his
torso, leading down to his waist, the firmness of his hips, and settling upon
the curved slope of his lower back. I tighten my grip on the warm flesh beneath
my palms, feeling a shiver course through him, and I smile. Resting my hands upon his legs, I lower
myself kissing and suckling upon his inner thighs, feeding off the sweet ambrosia
of passion, and drawing forth more delectable sounds from my lover. There is
nothing more invaluable than watching Tobias writhe in the throngs of passion
and knowing that I am the one that can make him abandon the inhibitions of his
usual self. He is mine, and I am his, and tonight we need not hide behind
required shells of propriety.
What began with awkward uncertainty develops into concentrated
determination. Concerned only each
other, we carry on with the endless touches and caresses heedless of the
passage of time and the only sounds are that of our own union. The contours of
identity blur in the face of searing passion and I lose sight of where I end
and Tobias begins. It is as if we are one fluid consciousness folding and
closing upon itself, drowning under the insurmountable weight of our mutual
pleasure. Passion matches passion; hands reach to stroke and grab, bodies slip
and slide unctuously against one another, clasping each other in a desperate
terror of separation, trapped in each other's embrace and so wonderfully bound
with no desire to escape. Hands roam my
body – his or mine? My consciousness is too hazy to tell – exploring without
shame, feeling the flex and bunching of muscles and touching the ember of
pleasure that sends white-hot stars in front of my eyes, blinding me.
Then movement becomes all the more focused and our cries a little more urgent –
again I cannot tell the sounds apart. No more time for games, embarrassment or
unfulfillment has no place in our haven of pleasure. This moment is ours.
Succumbing to the darker, more feral nature of man, our motions become
more frenzied as the ravenous beast rattles the bars of its cage, needing
release and yearning for the near spiritual brilliance that accompanies it. The
months of denying each other such things break all barriers down, and come
flooding ravenously out, the want, the desire, the need for pleasure,
climax, and satisfaction. And so as our
love is consummated I call out in helpless ecstasy to the sky, fingers dragging
down his back against the pleasure and the pain, causing Tobias to arch against
me like an abandoned Apollo flooded in the half-light of the room. An
exclamation – protest or praise I know not – I hear echoed from his lips and,
in a way, a declaration of our devoted adoration to each other.
Glistening with a thin sheen of sweat that nearly glows with the testimony of
our sentiments, I pant and squirm in Tobias' arms, seeking a comfortable
position. Finally I settle down,
resting against the crook of his bent arm, exhaustion sweeping sweetly over
me. He pushes back damp strands of hair
from my face and kisses me softly on the lips, whispering, "I love you." It's a sentiment I return, and those three
words I sigh out without hesitation.
I'm rewarded with another smile so breathtakingly endearing it's as
though the sun rose in the middle of this dark night.
I'm content to stay like this for however long, just loving the feeling of
being close and being together. My arms wrap around him, holding him tight and
desperately close; he must never leave. To stay like this forever would be a
dream come true.
"Forever…" I utter dreamily. Just as I'm about to fall asleep, however, Tobias
sighs softly. "What's wrong?" I ask hazily.
"Nothing."
He doesn't think I'm going to let it go that easily, does he? "Tobe-chan," I say seriously, my
hand resting on his chest, feeling the calming up and down movement of his
breathing, "you know I'm going to keep on asking. Why do you make this
hard?"
"Meh. I think too much. I don't want to spoil the moment with my brooding."
Sitting up, I stare down at him with concern. "What's wrong? You…" I
pause not knowing how properly phrase my next question, "you… didn't …
like it? Was it bad?" I ask looking away, my cheeks burning with heat.
Thankfully the room is now covered in darkness so he can't see me
blushing.
"Of course not!" Tobias sits up as well, pushing aside the rumpled covers. With his hand on my chin, he turns my head
back to face him. "I could die right
now and be happy, Seba-kun. It was perfect, love, absolutely perfect, but…it's
like a dream. I keep thinking I'm going
to wake up and none of this will have ever happened. Everything will be as it was at the beginning of the year, except
it'll be worse, because I'll have the memory of this dream reminding me what
things could be like." He lets out a
derisive little snort and leans back against the headboard. "Don't mind me; I'm a tortured soul, and my
skeptical nature has taken over my common sense again." Despite this dismissal, his attempt to
downplay his concerns yet again, his hand seeks mine, perhaps seeking some sort
of tangible proof that this is real.
I scoot over to him and wrap my arms around his waist and my cheek once again
finds its niche in the soft fold of his shoulder blades, a place seemingly made
just for it. "Don't say that, it's not a dream," I murmur softly,
closing my eyes. "It can't be a dream, I know you feel it too, right
here," I tell him, pressing my hand against the beating cavity of his
chest.
He enfolds me in his arms and lets out a deep breath. "If it is a dream, I'll kill the first person who wakes me."
There's another brief silence. "I was
also thinking about fairy tales."
"Oh?" I ask, the sudden change in topics startling and intriguing me
to the point where the onomatopoeia was the only coherent thought I could
produce.
"They never say what happens to the princess and her prince charming after the
last page. They just end it with, 'They
lived happily ever after,' but how can that be 'the end'? Isn't that just a whole new beginning rather
than an end? And is there such a thing as 'happily ever after'? How do we know they didn't end up bickering
all the time over taxing the peasants, or the prince didn't start staying out
late drinking with his fellow knights, or the princess didn't have an affair
with the court minstrel?"
I laugh, and push him down on the bed, then straddle him and clasp his hands
before replying. "None of that happened, stupid, because the prince and
the princess loved each other until they became stopped over with age and
unable to have sex. But by that time it was too late to even think about
splitting up, so they stayed together until the very end. How do I know you ask? Well, because true love never dies.
Occasionally it flickers or dims, but all can be repaired with a bout of sweet
ol' luvin'," I tell him, tracing playful circles on his chest.
He laughs. "You're such a hopeless
optimist, Seba-kun. I love it. I love you….
Princess. You know," he continues with
a wicked grin, "back in ye ol' days, they used to use a chastity belt to ensure
their lady's fidelity and preserve her honor.
Doesn't sound like a half bad idea if you ask me. Better safe than
sorry, don't you agree, fair maiden?"
"But I'm already ruined," I pout, "utterly and hopelessly
ruined. No one would want me, and I
don't fancy seeing my penis on a leash," I smirk. "I'm gentle, treat
me as such."
"You forget who you're talking to.
Everyone else may believe you to be the delicate flower, but after
tonight I know better. If anyone needs
to be leashed around here, it's you," he growls playfully and tries to push me
off.
"If I'm leashed, you're leashed," I laugh, and press my weight more
upon him. "You're the sex-fiend here. I must have my assurances you won't
run off with some trollop."
"Now why would I do that when I've got a blonde haired, hazel eyed trollop of
my very own already right here?"
"That, sir, is going beyond the pale!" I murmur in a falsetto.
"Methinks you have overstepped your bounds!" With a huff, I roll off
of him, tweak his nipple as punishment – drawing a satisfying yelp of surprise
– and wrap myself in a blanket. "You'll be sleeping by yourself
tonight," I add in my most serious voice.
"Owie. You must be taking lessons from Liz on how to be mean." Tobias chuckles and embraces me, blanket and
all, from behind. "But I'm horribly,
hopelessly, head over heels in love with him.
The thought of being with anyone else or, worse yet, without him, is
inconceivable," he whispers by my ear, his breath stirring the small, fine
hairs along my neck.
Resting against him, the playful mood dispelled, I shift trying to be free of
the blanket. Finally succeeding, I turn and return his embrace. "Well
that's good, because he loves you just as much, and the thought of your parting
brings him no happiness either," I murmur and kiss him sweetly on the
lips. There is a silence in which he
makes no witty remark, and, drawing him even closer, I whisper, "I love
you Tobias, now and forever, even when we're both old, wrinkled, and
impotent."
"Forever and ever? Is that a promise?"
"Forever and ever," I smile at him, "Happily ever after until
death do us part."
"Sounds good to me. Now since you seem to be all rested up I say it's time to perfect
this happily ever after," Tobias replies with a grin, his hands tracing
down the curves of my body.
"You'll hear no complaint from
me," I answer with a smile, and draw him into another kiss.
THE END
(AN: I can make no promises, for I have another unfinished project waiting for
me, a rewrite of my first work posted on fictionpress, but I'd like to know if
there is any interest in a sequel. I
have an idea set six years in the future; it would contain significantly more
angst, but would you still read it?)