AN: I have put my favourite quotes here..I don't know I wanted to do that ages ago but since someone else did the same thing I didn't want them to think I was copying but then I doubt they would care and anyway I really felt like doing it. The first come from a they may seme kinda silly.still funny in my opinion, and the rest are sort of.they have a deepr meaning.

1. Love is temporary insanity cured by marriage~Ambrose Bierce

2. Sometimes I lie awake at night and wonder 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night~ Charlie Brown

3. USA today has come up with a new survey; apparently 3/4 people make up 75% of the population.~ David Letterman

4. If it weren't for electricity we would be watching television by candlelight.~ George Gobal

5. I've been accused of vulgarity, I say that's bullshit~ Mel Brooks

6. I told my psychiatrist everyone hates me. He said I was ridiculous- everyone hasn't met you yet. ~Rodney Dangerfield

7. The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with. ~ Marty Fieldman

8. If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it? ~ Steven Wright.

9. Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem. Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash.~

Jerry Seinfeld.

10. Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.~Mel Brooks.

11. I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.~Emo Philips.

12. You're about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest. ~Rowan Atkinson

13. He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.~Joseph Heller.

14. The biggest way to loose marks in finals is to get the wrong answer~Dr R Taylor

15. You're under arrest for stealing empty cardboard boxes! The company needs those boxes to meet it's recycling goals. ~Catbert

16. I refuse to engage in an intellectual battle with an unarmed man. ~Unknown

17. It is easier to ask forgiveness than permission, but it's even better if you just don't get caught!

18. "Don't take life too seriously. You'll never escape it alive anyway." ~Elbert Hubbard

19. I knew it! I knew it! Well, not in the sense of having the slightest idea, but I knew there was something I didn't know

20. You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on~Dean Martin

21. I'm a woman, we don't say what we want. But we reserve the right to be pissed off if we don't get it

22. No one ever won a war by dying for his country. You win a war by making the other poor bastard die for his country! ~Patton

23. "One should respect public opinion insofar as is necessary to avoid starvation and to keep out of prison, but anything that goes beyond this is voluntary submission to an unnecessary tyranny, and is likely to interfere
with happiness in all kinds of ways."

- Bertrand Russell, English mathematician-philosopher (1872-1970).

24. "There are several good protections against temptation but the best is cowardice." Mark Twain

25. It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens

26. Men fear death, as children fear to go in the dark; and as that natural fear in children is increased with tales, so is the other

27. True love never dies for it is lust that fades away. Love bonds for a lifetime but lust just pushes away

28. I was court-martialled in my absence, and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence

29. Life is not lost by dying; life is lost minute by minute, day by dragging day, in all the thousand small uncaring ways

30. It requires more courage to suffer than to die." -- Napolean Bonaparte

31. Courage is almost a contradiction in terms. It means a strong desire to live taking the form of a readiness to die

32. Most people die at the last minute; others 20 years beforehand, some even earlier. They are the wretched of the earth

33. After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one

34. Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck

35. History is a pact between the dead, the living, and the yet unborn

36. Tragedy is if I cut my finger, comedy is if I walk into an open sewer and die

37. I shall not die of a cold. I shall die of having lived

38. Sure, it's going to kill a lot of people, but they may be dying of something else anyway

39. That's the good part of dying; when you've nothing to lose, you run any risk you want

40. Life is a joke. The only way to survive it is to find the right punchline

41. Nothing in education is so astonishing as the amount of ignorance it accumulates in the form of facts

42. I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers

43. Wit is educated insolence

44. It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.

45. Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils

46. God gave men a brain, and a penis, but only enough blood supply to run one at a time,

47. What is there but dark in a world with no light?

But we have light . . . we have the sun, the moon, the stars, and so much wonder and strange beauty around us. Let us enjoy them while we can.

Depression is not an excuse. It is a lifestyle, and it is useful to no one. It is a state of mind . . . one becomes selfish, narrow minded and unwilling to change . . . it is to be pitied, but not to be condoned.

It is as simple as saying no.

48. Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away

49.Who cares, never mind, whatever, go figure, lol

50. It's OK! You all die in the end anyway.

AN: These came from various places, I know most of you may not care but I just reckoned I should put them up because I really like them a lot, lol. Well...there they are, lol, I've got tons more and I put twice more than I originally meant to. the two last ones are some of my linguistic habits, lol (hmm, one is obvious).