i come to write to you
and don't know quite what to say
how to put it
what exactly i should show or what
i should hide
some things never change
and some things do.

i forgot how much it means
to have you look me in the eye
disconcerting, and wonderful
i can't help myself and i lose track
of time and all the other meanings
of the hour or moment
but the invisible seconds that slow
to allow you to catch my gaze
and it doesn't matter if i need to breathe
when i'm there, when i'm inside.

words between us used to come so well
a flow, and the breathless undertone
i always hear in my mind
of sleepy langour and a caress
in a tone, a piece of subtle language
rolled over your tongue
and across the way
meant for me
i miss that.

i still huddle inside myself sometimes
when i come to that place down and under
where you and i as one always reside
pleasant painful but treasured all the same
and being away and apart i often forget now
how it was, how sweet, how hurtful
how everything about you pulled me in
and up, all those times i cut my own legs out
from under me
well, almost everything.
some things change,
and some things never do.