"Janet, did you hear that?" asked Anna, one of Janet's company. She had several friends over for dinner.
"Hear what?" she asked back.
"It sounded like something smashed in the bathroom." came her reply. Janet turned her head and looked at the door for few seconds before slowly walking over. She softly knocked on the door.
"Keily. Is everything ok in there? We heard a noise... Keily?" There was no answer and Janet started knocking harder.
"Keily?! Are you in there? Keily! Why won't you answer me?! Keily!!" She put her hand on the doorknob, expecting it to be locked. She was surprised when the handle turned.
"Keily, I'm coming in." She slowly pushed the door open a crack, the first thing she seen was the blood on the floor. She pushed the door open further and saw her daughter on the floor in a heap.
"Oh my god!!! Keily!!!" She bent down and felt her pulse. It was there, but it was weak. Holding her daughters crumpled form, tears of agony streamed down her face. Her friends quickly gathered around the door, looking in on the scene in front of them. A few gasps, and 'oh my god's were heard.
"Don't just stand there!! Someone call 911!!!" Janet screamed. Anna ran to the phone and dialed the number.
The first thing Keily noticed were the voices, they were so loud. They seemed to echo in her ears and she couldn't make out the words. She tried to open her eyes but the intense light reflecting off the stark white walls and ceiling made her slam them painfully shut again, bringing up her right arm to shield her eyes in the process. That's when she felt a prick in the back of her hand, it felt like something was moving around under her skin. She slowly opened her eyes, allowing them to adjust to the bright lights and seen the IV in her hand, thick white gauze wrapped around her wrist. She slowly turned her hand to see her wrist completely bandaged, a few red spots dotted the gauze were the blood had started to seep through. She carefully let her right arm dropped gently onto the bed as she slowly lifted her left to see the same thing had been done to it, minus the IV. She took in her surroundings. The windows, the walls, the machines, the IV, the bed she was in. Her mom was standing just outside the door talking to a doctor, looking very distraught. Keily allowed this all to sink in for a moment, for she was still a bit dazed. Suddenly, it hit her. She was in a hospital.
'What am I doing here? This wasn't supposed to happen! I shouldn't be here!' she thought to herself and started crying. Janet and the doctor heard her sobs and ran in to see Keily, very much awake.
"Keily, you're awake! I'm so glad you're ok!!" Janet cried, hugging Keily tightly to her chest.
"No!! NO! This wasn't supposed to happen!! I shouldn't be here! I don't want to be here!" Keily cried, punching the bed and trying to wiggle free from her mother's grasp for a few seconds before calming down and hugging her mother back, sobbing.
Keily was required to remain in the hospital for two weeks under strict observation. She felt so dirty, someone had to stand by the door when she used the toilet or took a shower. She wasn't allowed to use a razor, so was unable to shave. The shower curtain was removed so she couldn't try to hang or suffocate herself. She was only allowed 5 minutes in the shower. However, she was allowed to wear her own clothes again...as long as there were no chains. To top it all off, she was required to see a psychiatrist everyday for at least an hour. That is what she hated most about the idea. She had seen psychiatrists before. They asked way too many questions and always seemed so cold and uncaring. None of them had ever been through what Keily had been through, therefore, they couldn't possibly understand.
Keily was dreading her first visit with the psychiatrist. She thought she was going to be like the others, but she was wrong. When she first walked into the office, she was greeted with a bright smile. Keily sat down and they started with simple questions such as "How are you?" and "How are you feeling?" When they started getting more in depth, such as why she felt she had to commit suicide, Ms. Burns, the psychiatrist, noticed Keily seemed very reluctant and withdrawn. That's when Ms. Burns decided to tell Keily her own story.
It turns out that Ms. Burns had gone through an ordeal quite like Keily's. As a teen, Ms. Burns was never really good at school and was always told she wouldn't go anywhere. Her parents didn't listen and she never had many friends, but she always kept trying, determined to prove everyone wrong. One day, a handsome young man asked her out to dinner, being completely beside herself, she agreed. They went to dinner and had a lovely time, that night he walked her to her doorstep and they shared a nice good night kiss. She was so happy she barely slept the entire night. The next day, she walked into the school. In front of her locker was the boy she had gone to dinner with....and his girlfriend. She was so mortified she ran home and grabbed a bottle of aspirin and a bottle of vodka. She downed at least half the bottle when her mother can home and found her passed out on the kitchen floor.
Keily was so amazed by this she didn't know what to say. She returned to her room and thought all this through in her head. She finally had someone to talk to, someone who would understand. Ms. Burns had had it just as bad as herself, if not worse, for suicide was more frowned upon in her time, and she had made it through. Maybe there was hope for herself yet.
The next morning she woke up and took a shower. She washed her hair for the first time in a long time. She put on clean clothes and willingly went to the psychiatrist. Since Ms. Burns had told Keily her story, she thought it only fair that she told Ms. Burns her own. She told her of what happened that dreadful night and Ms. Burns listened intently. Occasionally she would ask questions, just to see further into her story. After the first week, Keily had told Ms. Burns everything there was to know about everything that happened and what had lead up to it. Now it was only a matter of fixing everything so it didn't happen again.
Ms. Burns suggested Keily's mother and younger brother start attending sessions every other day with her so they would better understand what truly happened and the steps they could have taken to avoid it and can take in the future. She also continued having private sessions with Keily. She helped build her confidence and gave her suggestions on how she can graduate or get her GED and went over possible solutions to dealing with John. By the end of the two weeks, Keily was already starting to feel much better. She was still required to see Ms. Burns, as was her family, but it was reduced to two hours once a week. Keily and Janet called the school and requested a tutor to come to their house until Keily felt ready to return to school. They also talked about Keily doubling her classes and going to alternate school so she could graduate with her class.
It took a while, but Keily was finally able to return to school and face her friends...and John. She got up that morning, took a long hot shower and wore semi-tight black hip huggers, black boots and a simple white button up shirt. She let her curly hair hang loose about her shoulders and put some simple silver eye shadow on her lids which brought out the blue of her eyes. She gathered all her stuff and met her mom downstairs for breakfast. After their short breakfast, her mother drove her to school, listening to Keily ramble about how nervous and excited she was. Janet offered comforting words, telling her how she'll be fine and not to worry about it so much, she had faith in her. They pulled up to the school. Keily kissed her mother on the cheek and took a deep breath before stepping out of the car.
"Good luck!" Janet yelled out the window before pulling away. Keily waved and walked confidently up the front stairs and through the doors. She was immediately bombarded by her friends hugging her and asking how she was and saying how worried and sorry they were. Keily calmed them down and explained that she was much better and that she deeply appreciated their concern, than asked them to fill her in on all the important events she missed. She saw John walk down the hall to his locker and wave at her to come over. Keily told her friends there was something she needed to do and walked up to John.
"Hey baby." he said and leaned in to kiss her. Keily leaned away from him and took a step back.
"What are you doing?" she asked.
"What do you mean, what am I doing?? I'm trying to give my girlfriend a kiss, I missed you." he replied and tried again to kiss her.
"I don't want to kiss a cheat." she said simply, putting her hand in front of her face to deflect his kiss.
"What are talking about?" he asked, backing off and suddenly seeming very shy.
"Did you seriously think I wouldn't find out? Do you really think I'm that blind?" she said calmly.
"Find out what? I haven't done anything." He started fiddling with something in his locker nervously.
"Are you that stupid that you didn't think I would see? I was supposed to meet you at the football game, remember? I went to our usual seats, and what did I see behind the bleachers....?" she asked, her voice rising slightly out of anger. His eyes widened and he turned to face her again.
"Yes, I saw."
"Oh baby, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean for that to happen. She's just a friend...It...It was an accident, she came onto me."
"Yeah, well you seemed pretty into it yourself from where I was sitting."
"Oh baby, I'm sorry, but you have to understand..."
"Understand what?!" she cut him off. "That you're a lying cheat! I should have listened to my friends from the start! They told me you would do this, but I didn't listen. I believed in you, you know. But I don't any more. I could careless what you think or what you do, because it's over! Run on back to your little 'friend' and leave me alone!" She turned around and left John standing there, shocked. She walked into the bathroom, put down her stuff and let out a breath she didn't even realize she was holding. She walked over to the mirror and looked at her reflection. For the first time in what seemed like forever, a smile graced her lips and lit up all her features. She hadn't looked like this since her senior started. She was happy again, genuinely happy.