Praying To Forget

By Goth-girl1

(Based on a true story)

Sorry I haven't written in a while, I've been

Swamped with schoolwork.  Well, I'm back!

Sometimes I can be the greatest fool

And torn through my selfless fate

How dare you show me the negative?

Or the vengeful side of me

Why on Earth did I ever trust you?

Why did I ever meet you?

Put on the spot, ashamed beyond shame

Hurt as though I never cared

Something about you and who you were

Told me that you were okay

I believed you and I regret it

How is life better for me?

I've seen you with your so many girls

Did I mean a thing to you?

Was I just another of your girls?

Or did you feel something more?

Why, oh why did I do the nice thing?

And stay with you when you lied

When I saw you kiss another girl?

Admitting it shamelessly

The night before everything ended

I urgently spoke to you

I told you that you were hurting me

By never putting me first

You hung up quickly; you had to go

And I waited for the end

Wanting you here and wanting you gone

Leaving me depressed and lost

I would have waited for a while

I figured you might just stop

But I couldn't count on it

Rather I just mourned my loss

I read what you wrote me in my class

You want to just be my friend

Everyone turned to see my crying

Angry, laughing, burning tears

I saw you again and heard your voice

You pretended nothing changed

I pushed you away, for once and all

You tried to make me return

You couldn't hold me there and I ran

After telling you to leave

That you would not use me anymore

And you ignored every word

You pretend that we can still be friends

My pride tells me differently

I want to burn your image out of

My so aggravated mind

I wish you well, but I wish you gone

I want you out of my life

So I cannot ever think of you

And loathe your horrid presence

I never want to see you again

So why do I somehow miss you

And the person that you used to be

Why do tears fall from my eyes?

Free my tormented mind

From all memory of you

I will the bane emotion away

And the part of me that cares

In the smallest of places I care

And you never really left

You're still here, haunting my thoughts and dreams

If you truly cared, you'd leave

I have feelings for the image I see

When I close my eyes and know

The kindred soul I thought that you were

And I wish that you were back

When I see you in reality

Your laugh makes me want to cry

I am filled with rage and painful fear

What can I do as of now?

I feel so bad that I want to call you

And then the thought surfaces

That you are the reason that I cry

And that you hurt me so much

In an alternate reality

You never would have kissed her

You would only have had eyes for me

And I would be calling you

Not writing this poem in your name

I will never let you see

The reminiscence and memory

Before you showed me the truth

I know that what my friends say is true

I can do better than you

But somehow it's hard to accept that

I never wanted better

What did I ever demand from you?

Save loyalty and respect

I part with you for the final time

Praying that I will forget