Why do I always dream of death?
I cannot let me lie.
Am I doomed to focus on my end
And let life pass me by?
I do not want to die, I swear
-Not even when depressed.
Irony, it seems to me
That death won't let me rest.
My funeral parades for me,
Warm words on my cold ears.
But the melancholic joy dies too
When my loved ones shed their tears.
I imagine me a noble death,
Bravely faced, and well.
Say to all, in dying breath,
'I love you; do not dwell.'
I cannot take my own advice,
Torment myself with zeal.
And yet I feel so calm until
Their grief and love I feel.
I have the whole thing planned out now,
So often have I dwelt.
I know my loved ones love me now,
So often have I felt.
But why then can I not just stop,
Pretend that it will never be?
Every moment of my life
Death is the only certainty.