another year

another year on this miserable Earth
no, this violence is cool
another year in this miserable life
no, I don't care when she treats me bad
another year of pretending
yes I'm happy
another year of living in hell
no, none of this shit bugs me
another year of crying myself to sleep
me cry? where did you get that idea?
another year of living a dead life
no, I'm having loads of fun
another year of keeping it in
no, I'm not keeping anything from you. what would I hide?
another year of trying to decide
no, I can't leave. gotta stay. I'm strong
another year of acting
I don't care what you think, I like myself
another year, slowly killing me
die? I don't ever want to die

another year, except I don't wanna face it
I don't wanna fake it

can I go on a long vacation?
can I go far away?
can I leave, and never come back?
will this life ever change?
am I ever gonna be happy?
or will I alwase be miserable?
will it all go away? please?

I'm so sick of it
so sick of pretending:
I'm happy
I'm love it all
nothing bad happens to me
I can't wait for each new day

the truth?
I hate it
I'm so fuckin depressed
my mom treats me like shit
I dread mornings,
stay awake all night worrying
what's gonna happen tomorrow?
what new crap is going to ruin my life?

so sick of being shit
so sick of her
so sick of her crap
"you're a bitch"
she says
I say "stop,
leave me alone. I ain't that bad"
she says "quit acting like it"
how the hell am I supposed to do that?
I act the way you raised me
now you try and change?
you caused this all, accept it
I can't change, I tried
I hate my life
tried to change it
nothing happened.

now I'm saying
"what's your problem?
what you think mine is?
leave me the hell alone.
you already got me thinking
I'm worthless
don't need no more of your shit"

stay the fuck out of my life
it's gonna end soon anyway
can't spend another year
living this shit-filled life you say is mine
can't face it, cause I don't wanna lie
don't wanna fake
don't wanna say
"yeah, I'm so happy"
when I'm crying inside
don't wanna show you
how totally dead I feel either
don't want you to know the truth
but I don't wanna lie
can't show you either
so I'm just gonna leave
hopefully, gonna go far away.
never gonna come back
never gonna deal with all this again
so sick of it
sick of the lies
the truth
the shit I take
the life I fake
the parents that say
"you so bad. Your brother
gonna be as bad as you.
you just encourage him"
so sick of everything.
gonna be gone soon
can't take another year of it