Disbelief

by Lalita

...

Was I blind, not to see

All the signs in front of me?

I should have guessed, I should have known

I couldn't reach you on the phone

You weren't there and I was scared

But now it's all more than I can bear

My heart is heavy with all this grief

I am struck with disbelief

I hate to see you in that bed

I hate to think of you as dead

You're not gone, but you're not there

You can't see but yet you stare

You're alive but you're not the same

I never wanted you to change

They say you're confused, but you'll be okay

I know they're lying, I can tell by their face

I need you daddy, don't you know?

Sitting beside you, my heart broke

I love you daddy, don't you see?

All this shit is killing me

I'm fifteen now, fresh fifteen

Yet joy my birthday did not bring

I don't care about all the fights

In my eyes tears shine bright

I forgive you, daddy; do you forgive me?

I pray that God will hear my plea

I hold your hand as you breathe

I watch you always as you sleep

The car is totalled, and so are you

What happened is just unbearably cruel

You're awake but you're not here

Nothing in your mind will ever be clear

Just know that I will hold you always near

To my heart you're forever dear

...