Changing the sheets seems such a simple thing, but really, it isn't. You never want to do it, it takes up to much time; Removing the quilt, and washing the cover, removing the top, and bottom sheet, and maybe a blanket, and don't forget the pillow cases, sometimes you even have to soak the pillows.

But it's all worth it in the end; you're rid of all the unwanted molds and never-before-seen creatures that hide in-between every layer.

You're rid of the stench of alcohol from last night's party (and only god knows what else.), your rid of the fleas from the dog and cat, and your rid of the lettuce that feel out of your sandwich you were eating for a midnight snack.

Your rid of all your hair that has fallen out while being asleep (although you are not yet bald), you are rid of the bottle from your 3 year old daughter Jane who was scared of the thunder about three nights back, you are rid of the squishy thing which has been wetting your toes during the night (decayed flannel?), you have found your lucky pen, and the ten dollars you needed earlier to pay for your son Michael's little league rugby , you have also found your husbands secret stash of 'Playboy' magazines inside his pillow case, while also discovering your stash of chocolate has disappeared.

You have found your reading glasses with one lens missing, and your husband's wedding ring, you have found a short but descriptive note of how your teenage daughter Joeen is going to kill herself because you won't let her go to the rave, although she will then complain to God about the lack of social life and the drainage of cute guys up in heaven.

You find your 17 year old son Rari's surf chain and a photo of his 16 year old girlfriend Melissa wearing nothing but a skirt. You find a tooth (what the.?), and then remember that you punched your husband for finding the playboy magazines, but he claimed it didn't hurt (another dentist bill, can put the $10 towards it), and you find your favorite album of 'Sherbet' which Rari and Joeen both hate; it has a scratch through the middle (MENTEL NOTE: no pocket money for the next three weeks).

You also find a discount voucher for 'Sanity' (will use to get another 'Sherbet' CD), and a cotton wool bud stuck to a lolly pop.

All in all, you learn cleaning the sheets is a messy job, but one that has to be done more often, before unwanted things build up.

-Siobhan Austen Date: 21/November/2003