Possessed. You automatically think of demons, don't you? Unable to control anything? This is the story of Renai, Roku, and the rather obsessive demon, Twilight. Warnings: Shonen-ai (boy x boy love). Uhm. yesh. it's rated this *points to the rating* for a reason, thank you.



Kanjin na toki ni wa itsumo soba ni inai Nani ga taisetsu na mono na no ka wakarou to mo shinai Daremo ga kimi ni akiakishiteru****

Renai Shoshinahate stared at the faded yellow wallpaper on the other side of the next to empty room. His violet-gray eyes frozen and unblinking, dark circles had been gathering under them for quite some time, it seems. He looks to be about 15, if you ignore how pale and unreasonably thin he is.

'No one touches Renai.'

Renai's throat instantly tightened, and he would have swallowed in one big gulp-if his mouth weren't so dry. The voice comes at the most awkward times, most often when people are nearby. Throughout the past year that the Voice had been speaking to him, he learned that it was content when he was all alone in the dark. When the Voice spoke to him, he/she/it was possessive of him.

The soft knock on his door made him jump slightly-the kind of slightly only people who knew him well and long would notice.

"Renai.?" it was his mother, his timid mother who kept to herself, who feared the world, who feared not letting go, "Renai, dinner's ready. Come down and eat, sweetheart."

It took him a moment before he could speak, "Yes, mother."

'No, no, no!' the voice yelled in his mind, in his head, 'No one shall touch you!!!!! And continued to screech.

Renai took in a deep, shuddering breath, and whispered, "They won't touch me."

The voice paused in its screeches, and Renai felt the mental nod in the back of his mind. The nod was wary and barely trusting, but Renai was satisfied enough with it. sometimes the voice became so loud he saw the people nearest to him cringe and shiver and odd things such as that.

Renai walked down the stairs, his feet making no noise as they made contact with the old carpet. He could already smell the delicious aroma of the well-cooked meal, the delightful scent teasing his stomach, making it growl with impatience.

He made sure he sat far away from any human contact. This was odd, because the only humans present were his parents. His sister, now 17, was off doing whatever 17-year-old girls do at her age. Most likely drugs, he thought.

'Mmmm.' The voice smiled, and Renai narrowed his eyes and concentrated on silently eating.

"Renai." his mother began. She always spoke like this, saying the name while trailing off and almost as a question before she slowly got to the point.


"You know that school starts next week, don't you.?"


"It looks as if you've grown. We should go shopping for new clothes, you could try them on and see how they fit."


The voice didn't do anything, say anything. The voice acted as if it wasn't there. Maybe it had left. but Renai seriously doubted that. It always went away for lengths at a time before abruptly coming back when Renai began to think that it was over, that he was free.

No, perhaps the voice would never leave.

Renai had carefully woven his way through the people, making sure no one, NO ONE touched him. The voice still hadn't returned, and he sincerely hoped that it wouldn't wake up and see all these people so perilously close to him. He and his mother had already bought several bags of clothes, and now she was window shopping. Renai had no choice but to follow her.

What made it worse was that he was carrying all the bags, which wasn't good for his maneuverability.

Finally, he thought as his mother led them out the front door, and he sighed with relief.


Renai realized he was on the floor. He realized that the bags of clothes were scattered around him and the person who had fallen on top of him. His heart pounded in his chest, and his eyes grew wide in fear as he stretched out his mind, listening and waiting for the voice to start.

"Whoa, sorry dude," the boy who'd collided with him said apologetically. He definitely had a weird accent- and who the hell said 'dude' on a regular basis....?

Not trusting his voice, he slowly nodded his head and dared to look at the speaker. Died red hair- a rusty red- and catlike eyes with naturally tan skin and lazy clothes. Lazy clothes being the type that held very few details and hung off his body, making him seem thinner that he actually was.

Renai looked at his eyes again.

"Dude, they're just contacts, relax."

Again, Renai nodded, noticing his mother biting her lip nervously out of the corner of his eye. She definitely wasn't going to help him.

The voice stirred, and Renai tensed. "No," he whispered.

"No what..?" the boy asked, puzzled.

Anger flooded his head suddenly, flashes of red and bright, blinding yellow obscuring his sight and the screams in his head blocking his hearing. He clutched his head and buried his face into something soft-he didn't know what and he didn't care.

But this made the voice scream louder, and the soft something that he had oh-so-briefly depended on quickly scrambled away from his body. The colors died, allowing him to see the strange boy staring at him with wide eyes as his body twitched.

The screams became louder and louder until he couldn't hear anymore. He knew it was there, but he couldn't hear it at all. Renai sat on the cold white floor in the mall entrance, clutching his head and not noticing the screams that came from his own mouth.

The kid in front of me definitely had issues, and the chick over there scared half out of her wits must be his mother. I continued to stare at the kid as he sat on the floor and screamed while he clutched his head.

But my mind was replaying one scene over and over again..

The kid had buried his face into my stomach, which had surprised me, but before I could move, something moved me. I had fallen onto the floor, and while my body twitched I could see the kid look at me.

Just look at me.

I could see his violet-gray eyes.

I could see the terror filled in them.

And my mind replays it all over again.

Finally, the woman speaks: "Re-Renai!! Renai snap out of it! Stop screaming! Stop it!!! RENAI!!!!!"

Finally I snap back into reality, as the woman pathetically pleads from a distance. A crowd has gathered- of course a crowd has gathered, the kid is screaming in the middle of the floor and clutching his head like an insane man- and only because the violent convulsing of my body has stopped am I able to run over to the ki--- to Renai.

"Hey!!" I yell, pulling his face up and staring into his eyes, "Stop!!!"

The screams got louder- I didn't know that was even possible.

"STOP!!!" I yell, staring straight into his eyes and holding his head so firmly in my hands I knew that he hurt.

Renai blinked, realizing that there had been a haze clouding his vision, even if the colors weren't there. This boy's hands were causing the sharp pain around his head, and the catlike eyes glaring into Renai's own.

The voice stopped suddenly, and Renai followed suit.

"You okay, dude?"

'It... It's TOUCHING you!!!!!'

But the voice didn't scream.

Renai pulled away, fearing the screams might return, and nodded.

"Dude, you can talk, ya'know."

Renai swallowed, and said, "Yes."

"Good. Get your crap together, then."

Renai gathered the clothes into the bags, and ran out the doors to the car..

'You have been very bad, Renai.' The voice hissed, 'Very, very bad.'

Renai stifled a whimper and drew his knees closer to his frail, bony body as he sat on his mattress.

'And you know that bad boys have to be punished, yes?'

He felt a single tear roll down his cheek.

Then the door opened, washing his dark room with light.

"Hey," his sister leaned in the doorway, "We need to talk."

Renai nodded, and shuffled his body to one end of the bed, leaving beyond more than enough room for Rein. She sat down, staring at her feet. Renai realized that they must have looked totally pathetic sitting there, in his room. One: his room is old and faded and empty and falling apart. Two: His sister never talks to him. Never. Three: He was huddled in the corner of the wall- where the corner of the bed met the corner of the room.

"Renai," his sister began, "I've been meaning to ask you-What's wrong?"

"N-nothing." Liar, liar, pants on fire.

"I'm your sister you're supposed to tell me these things."

"What things?"

"Well..." She trailed off, shook her head and began again, "Kara's brother's girlfriend's cousin saw you freak out in the mall today."

And how does she know?!!! The voice glared.

Shut up. Renai nodded slowly to his sister.

"Mom told Daddy, and they're thinking of getting you a shrink."

You don't need a shrink. The voice told him, You don't need anything but me.

Renai sincerely wished that what the Voice said wasn't true.

"So-you know. I want you to tell me if anything is wrong or weird.. okay?"

Renai nodded, and stared at his sheets. An awkward silence followed. Just as his sister started to get up to leave, he spoke.

"Wait. I'll tell you."


"Yes... but you have to promise not to tell anyone, all right?"

"I swear on my soul," she whispered.

"Okay," Renai lowered his voice- and told her what he'd been going through for the past year, deeply wishing that she wouldn't tell anyone, just like she had promised.

School had started, and as Renai desperately ignored his homework-so he wouldn't have to weigh himself down as he ran home-he worried about his sister. Would she keep the promise? Could she be trusted to..?

Nothing answered him.

Not even the voice.

But the voice would know, wouldn't it? He could still feel it back there, just waiting for someone to touch him. P.E. was the most difficult, because in P.E. you were required to touch things. The teacher-Fuji-sensei- glared at him and did the whole 'whatever, just do the damn work' look.

**** You're never around during the crucial times You're not sure what's important to you Someone's sick of you ~Gackt "Mirror"

A/N: XP Review!!! If you want to read more, there will be a chapter 2. Ja!