i never ever raised my hand, never tempted to hit
i never clenched a fist or even named you bitch
never faking shit
or making lists of things that needed changing quick
i gave you gifts and paid for shit
when you're the one who's happy little family is rich
i gave up rest in a second
when you needed attention
in the winter after midnight you just needed a visit
then i quit the best position that i'd ever fucking been in
to be free in the event that you needed your man
so here i stand an empty man
two months after we're just friends
she's in love again
once again i'm reduced to nothing
what the fuck was in the spliff i hit
how could i think a chick this childish
smile, feud and cried with
was the true to start a new life with
naive at high prices
are not my type of snake eyed dices
fighting right till we're both suicidal
night after night we're hitting high notes,
acting like we're rehearsing for a recital
amplified and grew 9 times in size
rage and pain turned to hate inside
i took my coat and toked outside
she opened drawers, found a knife and let it slide
i'm holding close to my gonads and strife
all we both need was some understanding
love and compassion but now that won't happen
i've thrown my own captain
out his own boat laughing
and now i'm gasping,
and hacking alone
cause this world's cold and there's no going unbroke
there's no chance in hell she'll be around when i'm down
on my own i'm flying solo
no more cushion to blows,
no more holding someone close
when cold moments arose
don't you think that i notice
i'm hopeless, i know that we can never be close and
we'll never be known as matrimonious soul mates
waiting at home for the door or a phone ring
for no thing
knowing it won't ring
i told her i won't change my mind on this whole thing
smoking dope in chains
drinking bottles of rum
wondering what the fuck have i done
ending all that i have
and losing all that i am
i was falling for love and landing deeper in drugs
the land of the buzz
coming from to honey bee with love
to waking up face flushed, confused as fuck
abusing stuf with illegible labels
that are said to be fatal
taste hot like rebecca romaine-stamos
burnin my throat, again i passed out
landed face down and my mouth on the table


these eyes i see through
can't see through the weed fumes
these eyes cry too
behind the lights when i'm reminded of life
when i had a family
a chance to be happy
hand in hand we'd be laughing
fall asleep in her lap
with her hands wrapped around my neck
she kisses my forehead, i kiss her back
we just connect like triangular zacks
and that'd suffice
we each had to sacrifice but the price was light
what made me change my mind
oh yeah that's right
the lies and other guys in her life
flies lingering and i'm thinking where's she been
while my dick is diggin in
can't trust the woman even if she didn't
she would've given the chance at a better man
so i get a gram into my system and end it
she gets offended and i get the cold shoulder
my whole world is opened
and closed on the same token
so all goes unnoticed
i'm alone with no friends
holding close to lonliness
eyes opened to my phoniness
once blind i now realize
i was so self absorbed in my own strife
preoccupied with my own life
i ignored those important
shortened an already short hand
but fortunate my boys can
forgive this rediculously pathetic romantic
and extend a hand of friendship

for your ficticious stories
your bullshit and forced sorries
a dependant princess but poor eh
for every morning i get bitched at for your sake
for sick days and pay checks that were less than great
and stress on days i'd otherwise get to sleep
obssessive is one way to understate
for taking away my patience
day after day making demands
for all i hate and can't stand
i'll say what i once thought i can't
you fucking bitch, you deserved every hit
from your past boyfriends and parents
you don't merit life
you're a greedy fucking parasite
naive tike with nothing nice but what she buys
can't fight cause nothing's right
your head's practically barren
how the hell can you pretend to wanna parent
can't take a tylenol without me there, man
you can't add or substract,
you have no path or direction
you just take dick and compliment intelligence
with no concept of what's relevent
you're hella dense and worthless
cry time and time again about your friends leavin
what did you expect?
servants cause you got sick?
jesus fucking christ, your life is plush ya know?
roughest bumps you have in life are bubbles
jaccuzzi tubs and first class
flying for a party at the drop of a hat
and you don't work or attend class
you're a fucking liar
a cheap bitch looking for an expensive passifyer
i don't know why i can't get by her
she finds love in two months, so why can't i huh?
i still want that life beside her
but i hate that fucking wench with every fiber

be fucked if i go back tonite but be loved,
that's my sacrifice,
we can try it in the afterlife
but, i won't fight for the rest of my life
with a wife who acts like she's 9
never beat you
i treat you
never leave you
i need you
i'm bleeding from seeing you
falling for people so easy too
i told you the truth
i do and will always love you