Monologue of Emotions
Verse One~ Love
Part I~ Dreaming of
It's just out of reach. Felt it brush my fingertips like a soft kiss. Enough to make me want more, dream for more, scream for more, bleed for more. The gap is so far, but my desire is so great. With blind hope I leap over the canyon, falling into its never ending hole. I weep for more, breathe for more, reach for more. I fear I'm not strong enough to go that far. It is the stuff in dreams, reserved for then, and then only. Oh, what I'd give to hold it, to keep it, to feel it. But for now, I never shall. Remaining in this torcherous dream.
Part II~ Embracing Peices
Engulfed by its fire, I am blinded by its light. Saturated to the brink and drowning in its mystery. I say to thee "What makes this so? How can I feel so far away and still be right here?" There is no answer, none is called for. But a simple touch, hand to hand, and heat rushing to my eyes, I find myself sinking into that world again. I no longer know who I am. I want to cry with happiness, but you stop me, holding me close, and not letting me go. No more tears in the warmth of your arms.
Part III~ Mourning past
Far away. Drifting past. I rest my head on the pillow of my sorrow. Tears all ready cried, my eyes are now dry; nothing left to escape the well. Torching the shreds of happiness I'd held. Killing me slowly with words. No satisfaction in living anymore. Might as well sleep to rest a while. No strength to walk, no strength to stand. Holding my head down in this land. Fear of looking into your eyes, afraid to disgrace the old ties. You were mine, but you didn't love me at all? Were they nothing more than lies?! I hate you for what you did, but I love you for who you are!! Why the hell do you tocher me like this?!? I want to kill you!!! But you're killing me instead!!! I can't win here!! How did you get inside my head?!?! Get out!!! I don't want you in my life!! I hate you! I hate you!!How do I stop this? Go away!! I can't live without you!! Why can't I?! Why do I need you so damned much?! Just make it stop! Make it all go away! Why did you go away?! Why won't you come back and why won't you hold me?! Damnit, I need you!!!! Just don't leave me here all alone! Please!! ...Why?
Part IV~ Regreting this
Sleep away the pain. Numb through my soul. Don't even know I'm crying; If I'm dead or alive. What happened to the spark in your eyes? Why can't we have what we used to share? Why is it that when I need you the most you're never there any more? You left me, and you're not coming back this time. I'm sure, because you promised you wouldn't. I'm sorry! So sorry!! I've said so a million times over, but you just won't accept it this time. Don't want me to screw up again, hurt myself and annoy you again. I'm so alone, and always will be, I understand, so unfortunate because I will miss you so much.