I am as lost as you are
Without her.
But I try to carry on,
Holding in the tears
Being strong for you.
Because you need it more than I do.

You try as hard as you can
Not to alarm us with your tears
Your fears
And yet we know you aren't the same
Without your other half.

You try, yes, we know,
But your eyes betray your uncertainty
"What should I make for dinner?"
turns to
"Make something for dinner."
And I know it is hard for you
But it is also hard for us.
You work your sixty hour week
We see you, and yet you aren't there.

Washing dishes with the silent tears
Hoping you won't turn from your computer screen
But you do.
You see me with the washrag dripping in my hands
The wetness dripping from my face
The lost confusedness.

And you rush over,
Arms out,
A concerned look playing across your features.
You gather me in your arms,
Stroke my hair
Whispering "It's okay, it's okay"

We stand like that for an eternity,
Locked together,
Crying together.
Remembering together.
And I realize that while raising a single parent is hard,
Being one is harder.