Sitting down at our table, I watched as Penny went to work, whispering to the first wide-eyed freshman who wandered into her line of vision. It was beautiful to behold, rather like watching a graceful cat stalk its clueless victim.

After Penny finished with the freshman, she left it to go spread the word. Before long, the entire band knew about it-

-that is, the entire band, except for the drums.

"The cult. They don't associate with non-worshipers. What do we do?" Crysta whispered.

I thought. Brilliance struck. "We get word to them that Ivan is returning. That he'll meet his flock at midnight at the practice field. It'll be like a pilgrimage for them."

Anne looked at me quizzically.

"Ivan was a drumming god," I explained. "He graduated four years ago, but his name is still uttered with solemn reverence by the drum cult. Seriously, I think they keep a statue of him in the drum room back at the school. I bet they make sacrifices and everything. Perhaps that's where the music's always disappearing to," I mused.

Crysta grinned, then frowned. "But how do we get the information to them?"

"Get the pit to relay the message. The pit people almost count as drummers, so the drums will communicate with them," Fin explained.

"Band is way more confusing than I thought," Anne shook her head.

"All right, everything is in place," Penny grinned proudly as she returned to our table. "At eleven thirty, we strike. The trumpets will take care of the guy's cabin."

"What about the other girls' cabin," Crysta asked. "we're all in one cabin."

"No problem. Mrs. Shredder is in that cabin. She always has a glass of milk before she goes to bed, remember? And she brings her own gallon of Lactaid Milk, which is kept in the medicinal fridge. When I go to take my meds, I'll slip a dissolvable sleeping tablet into it. She won't wake up until well after breakfast."

"Where did you get a sleeping pill?" Anne asked Penny.

"I never reveal my sources."

"All right," Fin said, changing the subject. "So at eleven thirty we start. Should we synchronize our watches?"

"Oh oh oh," Penny exclaimed, " We have to call it Operation Turtle."

"What?" I asked my friend, looking at her like she had lost the last of her marbles. Which is a ridiculous attitude to take since she never had any.

"Just let her have her way," Anne said, rolling her eyes.

"It's usually best," Crysta agreed. "And we shouldn't synchronize our watches. No one in this band can do anything on time. It'd be a pointless venture."

It was eleven fifteen. No one in our cabin actually went to sleep after lights out, no one actually ever does. Well, except for the Band parent. She was sound asleep, snoring away like there was no tomorrow.

As I lay their, thinking happy thoughts about how I had just discovered that aliens really do exist, and that milkshake I had coming my way, I heard some rustling as two girls got up and left the cabin. Drummers. I figured that they must have some kind of purification ritual to go through before meeting their deity.

As the minute slowly ticked by, bringing operation Turtle closer with every instant, the gravity of our situation began to sink in. We could be hurt, killed, or even cause the destruction of the world as we know it. Or worse…be abducted and turned into mindless drones akin to Plymouth. I could just see it. Crysta, Fin, Anne, Penny and I, all lined up perfectly. Marching in step. And, oh god! Blinking in unison. Blink, blink, blinking as one. The Horror. The Horror.

My eyes popped open. Someone was shaking me. I rolled over.

"Come on, Dana," Penny whispered, with Anne and Fin flanking her. "We have ten minutes before Operation Turtle. You have to help me get Crysta up. She fell asleep and you know how long it takes for her to wake up."

"Ok," I nodded, "But are you sure ten minutes is enough?"

It turned out to be plenty of time. It only took us 9 minutes and 35 seconds to get her into that semi conscious state where thoughts do begin to register.

We then moved over to the band mother's bunk, under the careful surveillance of everyone else in the room. The rest of the girls in our cabin were still in their bunks, ready to dive under their covers if we awoke the wrath of one of the trinity. I was really feeling the love right then.

We leaned over her, tools in hand. She snored. I began to wonder if she had had any of Mrs. Shredder's special Milk.

"Did she get a hold of the Milk?" Anne asked, voicing my thoughts.

"I did see her go into the med center with Mrs. Shredder. They had a bag and I smelled something suspiciously like chocolate chip cookies," Penny answered. As if to affirm Penny's statement she let out an exceptionally large snore.

"Should we still…" Fin began.

"Wait a second, you can smell chocolate ship cookies through a bag?" Anne asked in disbelief. "Were they fresh?"

"No, they smelled like the cheap kind you get at the store," Penny responded.

"Can we discuss Penny's extraordinary power of smell later?" I asked. "We're kind of in the middle of Operation Turtle."

"Should we still Prank her, though," Fin asked. "I don't think we should, since she obviously won't wake up."

Crysta shook her head in agreement, smiling like an adorable two year old. She obviously hadn't quite managed to join the living yet.

"But what if she isn't drugged?" I whispered.

The band mom rolled over, and the noise she made could be labeled as a snore. But it more resembled a nuclear blast 1,000 times more deadly than that of Hiroshima. The five of us were knocked flat on our backs.

"Ok, so she's drugged," I said, not bothering to whisper as I staggered back onto my feet. "But think of all the pain she's inflicted on us. Can we really let this opportunity pass?"

Crysta frowned and shook her head no, as Penny quickly helped her back to her feet. I think Crysta had tried to go back to sleep while sprawled out on the floor.

"Well," Fin began, "You do raise a point. All those inspiring pep talks beginning with 'YOU ARE THE WORST KIDS IN THE UNIVERSE' does deserve some kind of reward."

As we started to syran wrap the snoring woman to her bed, our cabin mates began to creep out of theirs. By the time we had used up the syran wrap and toilet paper (the sizes you find at Sam's) the entire cabin had joined in on the project, everyone getting their turn. Stepping back and looking at the mass of white and plastic, we all agreed it was the most harmonious thing we've ever created. We had Fin take a picture so we could sell it to a museum as a Modern piece of art. We all also wanted a copy, poster size of course. It was quite the bonding experience. I nearly got teary eyed.

We were the first cabin to reach the woods surrounding the practice field. It was 11:45, the time we had told the other cabins to be their. Which meant they would arrive in ten minutes. I was correct.

"Penny," I whispered, as the last cabin arrived, "What do we tell them when they ask what the surprise field trip."

She looked at me like I had suddenly turned into Brittany Spears. "That it's a surprise. Duh."

"Silly me," I sighed.

Crysta looked at her watch. She had finally woken up. "Where do you think the drummers are?"

I shrugged. "It doesn't really matter. The trumpets brought their instruments. That'd be enough to wipe out a fleet of space ships. I hope."

"Should we have brought our instruments?"

"No, silly. We're flutes. we can actually play our instruments."

Suddenly someone shouted, "Look!" It was a trumpet, and he was staring up into the sky with wide eyes at a bright light began to descend. The slamming of a car door startled me. I glanced over to the access road. It was MR. Trek's car. He must have been waiting there since before our arrival. I then turned my eyes back to the sky.

The bright light sunk slowly down to earth as we all stared at it in disbelief.

"Now that's a surprise," I heard someone whisper. Penny had outdone herself this time.

The entire band turned and stared at Penny (NOT as one), expecting- well, I don't what they were expecting. Maybe they thought she was going to turn into some sort of soul-sucking demon because their eyes were wide with terror. Penny then explained to them that I had discovered an alien plot to take over the world using marching bands and that Plymouth Marchers really weren't really human. I am not sure if it is a good sign, but the band accepted our word without question and readily agreed to help us take over the alien ship.

"So when I say charge, I want the trumpet to begin playing as loud as you can, the rest of us will charge the ship and seize control," Penny instructed. Listening to Penny recite our simple plan, I began to wonder if we weren't in just a tad bit over our heads. Oh well, I thought, They're still aliens and that means I still get my milkshake.

The ship was finally in view. It was a big pyramid shape hunk of shiny black metal. As it landed, it sent a wind whipping wildly all over the place. After the deafening roaring wind subsided I opened my eye. It had landed on the fifty yard line and stretched over 100 yards. Before I could begin to guess the height, the outline of a door appeared on that smooth black surface, and it began to open.

Slowly and majestically the alien ship's door began to open. When the portal was halfway down, it suddenly stopped. The entire band watched in dead silence, the first time it has ever done anything silently.

"Why in the name of the King can't you fools do anything right?" the booming voice echoed.

The door again began to lower majestically; however, the moment had been ruined.

The silhouette of a tallish human looking thing suddenly appeared in the doorway and sailed down the ramp. The silhouette almost managed to salvage the moment, but unfortunately it had the poor taste to stumble halfway down the ramp and roll the rest of the way. After it stood up we got our first good look at it.

"Omigod," whispered Anne. "It's Elvis."

A gasp swept through the band as this registered. We were being invaded by a race of Elvis impersonators.

"What was that?" the Elvis Alien Guy snapped.

"Charge!" Penny cried out and the trumpets answered her call. Their performance was spectacular, it brought tears to my eyes. It turned Mr. Trek and Elvis Alien Guy into blubbering idiots. A group of Elvis Alien Guys with Guns suddenly rushed from the ship, but the trumpets reached a particularly high not in their song and they were all knocked out. More EAGG's poured from the ship, but they too fell before the trumpets ear tearing notes.

The rest of the Band rushed forth and began disarming the senseless EAGG, and the battle was apparently won, which was a good thing because the trumpets, bless their souls, had completely worn themselves out.

"Good Job," Penny began. Unfortunately, she began to early, because a towering figure suddenly appeared in the doorway, followed by what looked to be another contingency of EAGGs.

"In the name of The King, we place you under abduction!" It cried.

The trumpet section tried to play again. They manage to get out a few horrid noises that knocked out the closest EAGG's before their lips fell off from exhaustion.

"Fall back to the woods!" Penny cried.

Anne, Fin and I followed Penny, who was still toting round Crysta, back into the woods. We turned back, and noticed that the rest of the band was frozen in terror.