I am numb
Only a shell
Of what was once here
Only a carcass
In a land of vultures
But I feel no pain
I feel nothing
I do not feel hope
Or despair
I only feel ashamed
And wish that they would
Stop looking and pointing
In my direction
What have I done?
I do not understand
And yet
I feel no compulsion
To try to comprehend
I like this feeling
Of nothingness
For feelings cause
Weaknesses
Which I cannot afford
But in the midst
Of my own silence
I am forced to wonder
If I have finally gone
To the place where
You do not return
A place
Of institutions
And white coats
Will they still love me
If I go to that place?
Or will I return
To more of a nothingness
Then is here now?
I cannot
Will not
Think these thoughts
For they will drive me
Down a road I cannot take,
If I have not
Already taken it
I wish that someone knew
Or even cared that
I do not know what I have done
To be stripped of my life
So crudely
By a man who knows no meaning of love
But knows all too well of lust
Now you wonder why I sit here
Silly people
I sit here because it takes
Too much strength to stand
Do my bruises and cuts
Tell you nothing?
But, I cannot
Will not
Think these thoughts
Or feel these feelings
They will drive me mad
And so I return
To the numb state
I was in before
And no one stops
On this busy street
To help me up
Or to help me at all
I guess it takes
Too much time
To care