PLANTATION: PART TWO!!
(Note the double exclamation points.)
"LADY UNKO!" Kanraku shouted worriedly, "TO THE KITCHENS! FETCH THE EMERGENCY TANK OF REFRIED BEANS*!!!"
Lady Unko took her gaze off the pink clouds overhead and looked down at Kanraku.
"The emergency tank…" she said to herself in thought with a frown. "But, Master, you got rid of that years ago, remember? During the Taishoku infestation? After that, you said we didn't need such a bother any more…"
"........Do we happen to have any spare Taishokus lying around...?"
Otome turned to Kanraku and death glared her. "Stupid Taishokus…"
"It's not my fault! It's not like I snuck a Taishoku under my bed or anything!" Kanraku shouted back defensively. "Or IN my bed for that matter... "
"They're not in season right now…" Noufu interrupted. "And the SPG is getting closer."
"Damn picky ass Taishokus…" Kanraku murmured. "Maybe if we make an offering the SPG'll go away....?" she suggested.
Noufu shook his head in disagreement.
"I don't think it's worth it... We'd be selling our genders to Omekuma for Eternity."
"Uh, you're right.....DAMN YOU, PLANTATION! YOU'RE NOT USEFUL IN EMERGENCIES!" Kanraku shouted furiously, kicking a random cabbage head in her frustration.
"The SPG is only five feet away from your heads now…" Otome announced weakly. "Four... Three....... Two…"
At that moment, Lady Unko suddenly came bounding out of the Manor all hero like. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" He shouted as he ran towards Noufu and Kanraku carrying a single refried bean. He jumped between them, and placed the bean right there in-between the two.
The bean made a whooshing noise and began to glow. A dome shaped barrier spread out from it, and as the barrier spread, it pushed Otome out, exposing him to the SPG.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Otome shouted as genders began to spring all over his body. His skin became bubbly, and then… he blew up in a freak like way.
Lady Unko stood up, careful not to crush the glowing blue bean.
"Shit! That pie took me ages to bake for the SPG to just come and take it…" she cursed. Studying the remains of Otome. Kanraku turned to her and gasped in an astonished way.
"LADY UNKO!" she shouted. "Your punishment has been cancelled due to saving your Master's and Mistress's life. As soon as we take care of this problem, you can have as much sex as you want."
Lady Unko stared out of the barrier at Reisetsu, who was lying on the ground outside of it. She, too, had been exposed to the SPG, and it had caused her breasts to begin to grow at an abnormal rate and size.
"I wish mine were that big…" Lady Unko muttered to herself sadly, "I mean- oh no! At this rate, the more SPG here bosoms absorb, they'll eventually grow large enough to flatten out the plantation if she tips over...!… Huh? Oh! WOOOO! SEX!"
Kanraku pulled back her left leg.
"Correction; as soon as YOU deflate Mr. Reisetsu's boobs, you can have all the sex you want." And she kicked, sending Lady Unko out of the shield, exposing her to the SPG as well… this time, it caused her legs to go… HAIRY!
"NOOOOOOOOOO!" Lady Unko cried in agony.
"Hey… what's that?" Noufu asked suddenly, pointing up at a glowing red patch behind the pink smoke. "It looks like something breaking through the atmosphere."
Kanraku looked up at the red patch, and then back at Noufu. "More attractive then this pink shit?" She looked out of the barrier and held out her hand dramatically. "LADY UNKO!!! USE THE FORCE! DO IT FOR OTOME! AND SHOUSHIN! And what was his name?… TORIKI! DO IT IN THE NAME OF SEEEEEEEEXXXXXXUAL INTERCOURSE!"
Noufu looked up at the sky, back to the red patch, and suddenly, the patch grew… A large ball like thing broke through the SPG, the whoosh! of its call causing the smoke to scatter in all directions, letting the sun shine on the plantation once more all happy like.
"WAHOO!" Kanraku shouted like a fat man, giving off a Homer Simpson jump.
Noufu ignored her and squinted at the large thing that had fallen from the sky and landed in the broccoli fields, one hand over his eyes to block out the sun, the other picking his nose…
"Gasp!" He cried. "IT'S BLOATY!"
Kanraku gasped very loud and dramatically. "YOU LIE!" she shouted, hissing at Noufu as he flicked a booger off his nose.
"No! Look!" he shouted, pointing even MORE dramatically then Kanraku had gasped at the ball in the fields as it unrolled itself and became the freak known as Bloaty. "I thought it was that big humming bird thing that tried to destroy us last year... BUT ITS BLOATY!"
Meanwhile, the refried bean that was secretly the Sacred Omekuma Protection Bean of the Millennium Force but disguised itself as an average refried bean made a ping! noise and lost its glow as the barrier faded.
While no one was looking at this somewhat obvious event and were busy looking at other not as fancy things, Noufu picked up the bean and pocketed it.
Kanraku walked over to Lady Unko. "BAKA NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!! YOU WRECK!" she shouted in her face, holding her nose up all stuck-up like. Lady Unko stared at her like she was crazy. She shook her head disapprovingly and wondered if she could still get that high-profile job at the supermarket as she walked over to Reisetsu and began raping her slowly, causing her boobs to slowly shrink back to normal.
"Lady Unko," Kanraku announced at Lady Unko finished up the restoration process on Ms. Reisetsu's boobs, "Your punishment has been reinforced, since you wasted all that damn time screaming." She turned to Noufu. "Bloaty deserves some sort of reward, wouldn't you agree, Mistress Noufu?"
"Yes…" Noufu answered, narrowing his eyes. "Indeed he does…"
SUDDENLY, a penis shaped helicopter flew over head out of nowhere… The door slid open, revealing Strawberry Shortcake, wearing her black hooker clothes. She looked around, and spotted the group. She grinned, and then took out a condom from her pocket, throwing it down at Bloaty. As it fell, the condom expanded big enough to engulf Bloaty within itself, somehow managing to shrink to the size of a marble as it flew back up to Strawberry Shortcake's hand. She cackled triumphantly.
Kanraku stared at the scene, her fingers twitching as her brain processed the situation. "........ DAMN YOU, STRAWBERRY SHORTCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKKKKEEE!!!!!!" She shouted in painful agony.
A moment later, the goo that was scattered all over the floor began to vibrate excitedly as it began to fly into the center of the dirt space in front of the manor. Slowly, it began taking shape of the thought to be deceased and hopefully gone forever Shoushin Kahi.
Lady Unko sighed tiredly. " ... Shit!... the SPG must have excited his atoms and caused them to regroup." she explained as the last of the goo finished rebuilding Shoushin.
Kanraku stared at him considerately. "Hmmm...SHOUSHIN! Where are your Star Wars friends?!" She demanded in hopes of finding more nerd slaves… if she could tolerate them. Of course, they are good for relieving stress… especially with the whip…
Shoushin pouted. "They're not my friends."
"Okay, where are your BUDDIES then...?"
" ... SCREW YOU!" Shoushin shouted angrily, taking a stuffed pink rabbit out from nowhere and throwing it up into the air, only to jump up and catch it in his mouth. As he did, a series of bright flashing lights began as he undertook a transformation. A glowing being slowly descended to the ground. Its feet touched the floor, and the glowing ceased, revealing Shoushin, only now wearing Technicolor pants. "I'm gonna go take care of things MY way." He announced, crossing his hands over his chest and disappearing up into the sky in a swirl of rainbow colors. *crosses hands over chest and disappeared in a swirl of rainbow colors*
"Damn it, Shoushin!" Kanraku shouted up into the sky angrily, "JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE PMSIN' DOESN'T MEAN THE WHOLE DAMN PLANTATION HASTA SUFFER!!!!!"
Lady Unko sighed again. "It already has... the SPG had enough time to work its evil."
Kanraku's eyelid began twitching. "Argh... Stupid Omekuma... Always ruining mah plantation...s…"
Noufu nodded in agreement. "You remember that time he made everything really cold?"
Kanraku nodded. "We lost our pet T-rex thanks to him…"
"FEAR NO MORE!" shouted a voice from somewhere in the air.
The group looked around, looking for the source.
Noufu gasped as he saw Farmer Hamaru's mouth twitching. He gasped and pointed at the late Farmer's body as it lay on the ground. "LOOOOOK!"
They surrounded the corpse, as the tip of another head slowly rose from the Farmer's mouth…
AN HOUR LATER.
FINALLY, the body of a girl came out from the Farmer's mouth. She smiled at the crowd who was sitting around the Farmer's body sneakily.
Kanraku narrowed her eyes at the newcomer. "WHO are you?!" she demanded.
The girl grinned.
She had bright blonde hair that she had back in a pony tail under her glowing halo, and dawned a pink ballet outfit with brown cowboy boots on her feet with big butterfly wings on her back.
She raised a finger at Kanraku, "Just gimme a second."
The girl bent down and pulled out from the Farmer's mouth a scepter that was nearly as tall as she was. It was silver, with a large yellow star on the top.
The girl breathed in deeply. "Yep… SPG… this is the right place." She turned to Kanraku. "Now what were you saying?…"
"… WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?!"
"And why did you come out of Hamaru's body?" Reisetsu added.
She girl, fairy, whatever, smiled. "My name is Kanba Musume. But YOU are to call me Ms. Musume. Understood?"
"Hell no, no frikkin way I'm calling you-" Kanraku began, but stopped as Kanba took an apple out from her pocket and raised it up to Kanraku. "I mean, yes Ms. Musume…"
Musume fluttered over to a column on the porch and began rubbing against it fiercely. "Which of you own this plantation?"
Noufu and Kanraku stepped forward proudly and said simultaneously, "We are."
Ms. Musume acknowledged them and stopped humping the column, taking out as penis flavored lollipop and sucking on it loudly.
"I have a proposition for you," she said with the lollipop still in her mouth, "to help you restore this little operation here."
Noufu smiled happily and shook his head. "No thanks, our mob days are over." He said politely.
Musume blinked twice, and then shook her head. "I meant the plantation."
Noufu stared at her stupidly until he finally realized what she was saying. "… OH!"
Ms. Musume threw the lollipop to the side, and Lady Unko and Reisetsu dived for it, immediately getting into a fight over the delectable thing. Musume continued, "As you can see, your establishment has is no longer in operating condition." She said, pointing at the fields as she subbed her hand on her gender area. Kanraku looked at her suspiciously.
"Yeeessss… What's your point?"
"Well, as it just happens to be, I have this key that I won a long time ago at the Mr. Universe competition back when I was living inside the Arnold dude. Ironically though, the only think the key does, is restore plantation to their original forms. As you may have noticed, I have no use for this, but if you'll do me a little favor, I may be willing to part with it…"
Musume hovered down to the ground and lay on it face down, commencing to hump it.
"What KIND of favor?" Kanraku asked, starring nervously at the inappropriate humping.
"Well, there's this package I need you to pick up for me. I'd pick it up myself, but being a Sex Faerie, I'm too busy with my sex to go get it back myself."
Noufu considered it. "Hmmmm… and where is this package?"
"Are you familiar with a place known as The Holy Shrine of She?" Noufu gasped at the sound of her words, his eyes widening in horror.
Musume noticed as she grabbed Reisetsu and began rubbing her face in her breasts. "What's the matter?" she asked in a muffled voice through the makeshift lesbian love.
Kanraku patted Noufu on his back. "That's his home land…" She said softly.
Musume looked up. "Ok, well, whatever. I left a package there when I had sex with one of the people there, and I need you to get it for me if you want the key."
Noufu regained his composure and looked at Musume as she spun around in the air lazily.
"But the entire area before the Holy Shrine is the Land of Lost Sex. That area's completely uninhabitable. It's said to be where Omekuma originated…"
"… I'll give you a cookie as an extra bonus."
Noufu considered the idea.
"… COUNT ME IN!"
"Alright then!" Musume shouted cheerfully. "You may need some help however, so I think you should round up that slave of yours." She sniffed the air. "He's down the road at the local bar, according to the scent." She inhaled deeply again and pointed at some hills behind them. "And there's a distinctly old one in that direction as well as some time of highly-evolved poultry."
Kanraku growled. "It must be Grandpa…"
"But which is the one at the bar?" Noufu asked.
"No clue." Musume answered, "But just hurry up and collect the help you need. I've got to go to this party at- I mean, a WORK think at a strip club- err, the office. When you're ready for whatever you need to be ready for, just push the Farmer's big toe." A circle appeared in the sky, and sucked up Musume as she yelled down, "BYYYE!"
"… WELL, PEOPLE, WE HAVE A MISSION!" Kanraku shouted. She pointed at Lady Unko and Reisetsu, who were still fighting over the lollipop, "YOU TWO STAY HERE JUST IN CASE." She walked over to Farmer Hamaru's body and kicked him in the shins. "YOU stop pretending to be dead." She grabbed him by the ear, and immediately he woke up as she dragged him over to Noufu. "And YOU come with me!"
She grabbed him under her arm and carried him like a book, making a run towards the bar down the road…
In Case Your Eyes Fell Out and You Can't Read Anymore and Need Some Explanation:
*Refried beans are the only thing that can weaken Omekuma.