Formerly posted as "Abandon Me Not," this was looked over by my sister, torn into little pieces, and completely revamped. I wrote it for a friend who was contemplating suicide; fortunately, he seems to be doing a lot better now, so I never gave this to him. I guess I'll save it for future times of depression, although hopefully I'll never need to whip it out of hiding.

Here I stand, with word so soft
Stretching battered hope aloft
Trying hard not to depress
While fighting apprehensiveness

It pains my soul that you can't see
How I try so hard to be
Just the way you want me to
While to myself remaining true

And yet, please tell me, should that be?
Seems you care more for roommates three
And though your friendship they have earned
The jealousy within me burns

And though their wisdom I'll accept
My heart is full with tears unwept
That they to you all things can speak
While I my words inside must keep

You sometimes to me troubles spill
But then you wish yourself to kill
Please know, my spirit you would break
If you the path of doom should take

In thoughts of you I think of tea
That kindly you prepared for me
And times of talk, with no goodnight
'Til dawn with rays of morning-light

When troubled, you've encouraged me
To strive for all that I can be
And though I've not yet all attained
I've wisdom from your knowledge gained

You've taken time to calm my fears
And stop the flood, before the tears
Have chance to surface from below—
You're wonderful to me, you know

And now at last the chance has come
To give some back, for all you've done
But how am I to make you whole
When fear is gnawing at my soul?

I feel so terribly inept
At keeping you from final step
I dread each day of hearing news
That you the path of death did choose

'Tis five years that I met you, friend
Is now this happiness to end?
If so, please wake me from this dream
Tell me your face I've never seen

For surely that should be my aim
From mind and soul to shroud the pain
Pretend that troubles don't exist
And if you leave you won't be missed

And yet if I the option had
To from my life remove the sad
Remembrances that my heart weigh
I would not time with you unsay

For though I'm troubled much for you
Your words have often led me through
From drowning-pit of fear and rage
To peaceful dreams upon a page

So careful, friend—haste not to meet
The false-friend Death though seem he sweet
By living still you may perchance
Yet make your tired soul to dance

But if you down this path should tread
Though with you I with sorrow pled
If by your will Death meets with you
Remember this—you've killed me too.