(12/9/03) New story time (again)! This one's going to be funny so there! Ha! I love this … okay … maybe I'm taking the idea from my friend Aejavu … but I don't think she'll mind. I would probably never consider this for publication or anything (even if I could) because this is just for fun. Okay … well here we go!

Also … this is the 'new and better revised version'. I changed this because of a review I got and I decided that the reviewer was right so I decided to 'start on a clean slate'. I know it seems like I have a weak backbone and all but … I really don't have a backbone so …this is just my coward ness and my longing to be accepted and not criticized that much coming in. So … excuse my coward ness please.

Summary- "Mom … those are tiny ... they won't fit!" And it didn't, but that didn't stop Elizabeth Jone's mother from sending her to a fat camp to lose weight for over the summer. What's a thin person to do in a fat camp? ... Especially when your trainers are  the guy who serves your food and totally freaks you out,  the most beautiful girl in the universe, a pervert that doesn't mix with spandex, a guy who likes you so much that he goes as far to stalk you, and a really hot guy that could be a potential boyfriend. Let's just say it's going to be a lovely summer

Author's Notes / replies to one review:


1 – I don't mean to be offensive to anybody who is heavy or anything because I have nothing against overweight people. I myself have a few extra pounds and this is through someone's eyes that has never had extra weight on their body in their lives, is extra tiny (she has no figure if that helps), and has had bad experiences in the past. Please just be patient and you will see - like every story with a main character – the character grows. I have just let off a major part of the story but this is to samuraiheaven who commented on this and pointed this out.

2 – This is all very screwed up and it's going to be the same characters as always

3 – The character is thin, it is just that her mother has mental problems and thinks she is fat.

4 – I also wanted to say that this is a humor story … by me … this would explain a lot to people who know me because they know I'm completely insane and I tend to blow things way out of proportion. So … as I was saying, this is a humor story, therefore sometimes this thing will not make sense and things that normal people would never do are done in this story. I'll give you small footnotes when this occurs.

5 – I'm just going to say this: my sister – who is the most fit, and beautiful person I know in the universe – is 5'3 ½ and normally wears small sizes in pants.

6– The Narrator is first person and is telling a story. So sometimes the narrator will 'talk' to you … yeah …

7 – If you do not like fantasy, even a little bit, LEAVE NOW!!!

8 - And of course, you don't have to read the story if you don't like it. Thank you.


"Mom, that's way too small … I can't fit into those!"

"Nonsense!"  Mother replied. "Elizabeth, I know you wear at the least this size!"

"No I don't!" I protested. "And I never have worn that size!"

"Well just go and try them on." My mother said while handing me the pair of jeans. "You need some nice pants and those pants will fit you."

Mumbling, I dragged myself and the pants into the changing room and proceeded into trying to get into the too small pants. The pants didn't even go past my thighs.

"Mom they don't fit!" I yelled through the changing room door.

"Fine then … one size bigger." My mother said as she went to rummage off for some more pants.

Two minutes later mom came back and threw a slightly bigger pair of pants over the door.

"I can't wear this size either mother!"

"Yes you can!"

"I swear that I can't." I said as I put the stupid jeans on.

"Come out and show me." Mother said.

Slowly, I came out of the dressing room and stood in front of mother. Sure … the pants fit alright … I was just wondering if my intestines would be crushed!

What is my mother thinking I can fit into such a small size? I haven't worn pants this small since I was twelve! When I finally grew (although not that much) I had to get a bigger size; normally I wear around a small/mediumish size of pants. That is a reasonable size for a girl of my stature; being only 5'3 and being of a normal weight for my height or so and having no figure whatsoever. Besides … these pants are not the style that I like for they are tight; I much rather have baggy cargo pants.

"Elizabeth … I think we might have a problem." Mother said observing me in the pants. "Why aren't these fitting?"

"Uh … maybe that's because I don't wear pants for models." I said as I started to get back into my school uniform (yes, these are my normal clothes because I go to a stuck-up private Christian school and my mom insists that I wear it since she thinks all my clothes are inappropriate and boyish and sadly the uniform is a gray knee-length skirt, white blouse, and a green scarf that goes under the collar of a shirt – oh – and did I mention the matching hat?).

"I just don't get it." My mother said ignoring my last statement. "I don't think it's the brand … maybe it's because – Elizabeth, you've gained weight haven't you?"


"That's it! You've gained weight; that's why you can't fit into these pants!" My mother declared. I felt my mouth drop; this could not have a good outcome without some pain.

"Well … we can't have you so overweight … we'll have to do something about that …"

"But mom; I'm not overwei – "

"Please, Elizabeth, don't deny it; once you've accepted it the first step to solving the problem is over." My mother said as she picked up her shopping bags and walking out of the store.

I followed her in a bit of a daze. I should have known that something horrible would happen if I let her shop for me. Ever since I was eight I have shopped for myself just because I didn't want to be dragged around a mall being forced into clothes … actually it was more like I would run around with some piece of cloth barely on me while my mother chased me around with a pink ballerina dress in her hands.

My mother was now rapidly walking down the … hallway (do the … hallways in the mall actually have a name? Because I just call that area 'the mall') of the mall and was looking for something. Somehow I knew I didn't want to know what she was looking for … I really hope it's not lingerie again … I shudder just thinking about it.

"Mom, what are you looking for?"

"I think I saw a stand advertising some sort of weight-loss plan around here somewhere …" she answered.

She's actually going to go through with this isn't she? She really thinks I'm fat … this is truly sad. What makes her think I'm fat exactly? I don't look fat … I'm guessing it's her short-term memory problem. That's most likely it; she has forgotten that I have had a small growth spurt when I was sixteen (I was a very late bloomer … and a very littler bloomer at that).

"Found it Elizabeth!" My mom said excitedly.

"Whoop-de-do." I said flatly.

"Look at this Elizabeth," My mother said handing me a brochure, "it's very exclusive and it has specialized trainers, high quality and low-fat food all cooked by a chef, you'll be there all summer and – oh Elizabeth! This will be wonderful for you!"

I looked at the brochure in my hands and saw only a bunch of miserable looking people wearing ugly uniforms toiling away in the hot sun … Oh yes mother, it's going to be wonderful.

My mother walked over to the person at the stand and stated, "I would like to sign my daughter up for this camp."

A very bored looking college student, who was smacking on some gum, looked up at her and then gazed over at me. She then asked, "That's your daughter?"


"And … you want to send her to this camp?" The girl said pointing to a brochure she picked up off the counter.


The girl clicked her tongue which meant 'Okay you freaky person; I'll sign up your thin daughter for a fat camp just so she can live out your anorexic dream for you and become completely miserable'. But in real life she just said, "Alright … just fill out this form and then you'll have to send a check to the main office for three thousand dollars."

THREE THOUSAND DOLLARS?!!!! Three thousand dollars to send me to a fat camp to lose some non-existent weight?! My mother is crazy!! Three thousand dollars could help homeless people and people with AIDS or cancer or something yet she's spending it on me to make feel horrible (if I lose weight that I don't have most likely I'll be a skeleton).

Well … it seems my mother doesn't care that she could be improving other's lives because she's just filling that little information sheet out. Plus, I bet her check book in her purse is just waiting to be signed and then sent off to this stupid organization that will make my summer miserable this year. Sometimes I hate being loaded (I'm not going to be modest, but we're rich because of my grandfather's company) because if I wasn't rich then all this wouldn't be happening and I wouldn't be wearing a skirt and I wouldn't be going to a camp wear I'll have to wear another uniform!

Maybe it won't be that bad …

HOLD IT! Where'd that stupid thought come from? This is going to be horrible.

"Mom, I really don't want to go the camp." I pleaded with my mother one last time. I tried using 'the lip' and 'the eyes' but all I got was:

"This will be good for you Elizabeth and as soon as you get there I bet that you'll be overwhelmed and just so very happy!"

"But mom, surely and truly I don't want to go to this camp. I'd much rather stay here and go vacationing." I think I am about to cry. "I just don't want to go to a place I don't need to go to!"

But … obviously my opinion does not matter to my mother … for I am at a train station with my backpack over my shoulder a week later about to waste my summer vacation at some camp in the west. My backpack is strangely heavy though … very heavy in fact, and I have no idea why it is so heavy because I only packed the bear essentials. I also have a hat on my head – a bucket hat – I am trying desperately not to be noticed by all these other people going to the camp. You see, it occurred to me yesterday as I was stuffing my stuff in into my backpack that maybe some people who are going to the camp to lose weight might not like me because I am not overweight … while they are; there is no logic behind this reasoning and I myself think it's very stupid but … let's just say I take the whole Harry Potter and Dudley Dursley relationship to heart. After stuffing the stuff I then thought up of writing my Will but then I figure I might as well just give it to charity because there is no one in this world that I would give my valuable processions to (examples: motorcycle, CD collection, Playstation II, ect.) except to my little brother; but I suppose my mother wouldn't appreciate it if he was riding around on a motorcycle when he's only ten years old.

Carefully, I try to look up at the monitor to see if the train is here yet. I was lucky enough to be here alone so - if I time it correctly - I could be out of here before you can say … "I'm outta here" (I'm nervous at the moment so don't be expecting anything original and witty at the same time).

A bell sounded all of a sudden and I looked up to see that next to our train number there was a flashing 'Boarding' sign – did all trains have a bell when they're coming in? – No! Concentrate Jones, concentrate; this is my chance.

But as I turned away from the train I found myself squashed – yes, squashed – against a crowd of people that were boarding the train; before I knew it, I was heading straight into the train that would bring me to the camp of my doom.

I was pushed aboard and all I could do was go left; I went left until I reached the end of the train. There I found an empty compartment (since some of them already had people in them, not to mention people who looked at me strangely or greeted me nicely and offered for me to sit (which I didn't because I didn't feel like making a name for myself that I was depressing), and some special few glared hatred daggers at me [1]) and I took my stuff then threw it in the seat. I took the window seat and then pulled my knees up to my chin.

I wasn't going to cry … I most likely would reminisce about all the bad times and then compare them to this. After about an hour of feeling sorry for myself and flipping through some magazines that I had brought with me I heard someone knocking at the compartment door.

"Uh …" I said intelligently.

"Uh …" Wow! This person is at my level!

"What do you want?" I asked.

"I just want to know if there was any room in there." The person stated.

This needed considering; would I rather wallow in my own self-pity or share it with a stranger who most likely will take up half of the compartment?

Let's share the joy; I'm in a good mood.

"Sure, whatever."

I started to move aside my magazines – just in case she had a huge trunk to go with it – but when I looked up I saw a girl and she wasn't fat … she was huge and she had a lot of muscles … and she was scary … and when she saw me she got an evil grin and then started to pull her fist back as to hit me [2] (why? I never did anything to her … oh wait; I'm thin while she's fat right? Oh, I understand completely now; see, my reasoning was correct!!!) … and I also found myself groping for my stuff and my backpack …

And I ran.

More like lunged; but after I got my backpack and dived through the small space between the girl's sausage-like arm and lard-filled leg then hit the wall on the other side of the hallway scrambled up and began frantically crawling on all fours and eventually made my way up to two legs, I ran. I ran like there was fire on my heels, I ran like Death was coming to claim my soul, but mostly I ran like a coward.

 When I finally stopped I found myself at the other end of the train huffing and puffing. I wondered if the people on this side of the train were any better then the ones in the back. Maybe it's like the bus system: if you sit in the back you're a 'gangsta' or just a creepy wanna-be and if you sit in the front you might as well wear a halo above your inflated head.

Now why'd I go to the back again?

Because I'm weak, pathetic, ugly - -

Hmm … A hand has just placed itself around my arm. Should I scream? Maybe, but that would bring attention to myself and most likely the hand's buddy (a.k.a. the other hand) might put a dagger to my throat. So I shall not scream but instead try to contain myself from spazing out like some rabid bunny rabbit.

"Hey! What are you doing out there?" Some voice I didn't know said. I guessed it was the hand's voice … er … I mean the person with the hands' voice. "Don't you know it's dangerous here for people like us?"

People like us? I am sorry freaky person with a possible dagger in their hand; I am not like you. I do not freak out people by grabbing them around the arm and then telling them that they are one of us.

But before I could tell this person who has friendly/psychotic hands my opinion, I found myself being dragged into a compartment and then being forced down into a soft, cushion seat across from two girls (one of them being the hand girl) and an another girl next to me. I observed my surroundings and -- besides the girls – it seemed quite normal except for the fact that this compartment was a whole lot nicer then most of the other compartments. The wood that lined the walls was real cedar and it gleamed with a flawless stained finish. The seats were soft and covered with red velvet and trimmed with a gold-ropey-thingy. I looked up again and saw the two girls across from me staring at me. I stared back at them. And trust me there was a lot to stare at (for one thing THEY WEREN'T THAT PSYCHO, FREAKY GIRL WHO TRIED TO PULVERIZE ME!!!!!!).

The girl with the possible dagger in her hand had very short and messy hair, and it was very fair – almost white. Her eyes reminded me of highly polished emeralds and her tan skin brought out her features. From the stupid grin on her face and just from the way she looked I could tell she was crazy … great, one more to add to the club. The girl next to her made me shake the hands of the green monster of jealousy. Normally I didn't care about my looks – I already knew I was hopeless – but in this case I think I'd do anything just to look like her. The girl's hair was about to the middle of her back and it was a pale blonde that glimmered like a crystal or ice or something pretty that shines. Her eyes were a pale blue and everything about her was just flawless. Her looks gave off this impression that she was very kind and a bit of an introvert.

If I was a guy I'd be giving her a lame pick-up line like 'Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?' But I'm not a guy – thank goodness – so I will not a jerk or pervert and who the heck is that next to me?!!

Yes, I had completely forgotten about the girl next to me who was now looking at me with raised eyebrows for I had fallen out of my seat and was in a very interesting position on the ground because when I had turned her face had been right there in mine and naturally – me being a little coward and all – I panicked and probably gave this person next to me an impression of utter insaneness.

Anyway, she looked at me for a couple of seconds and then back to taking writing down something on a notepad then glancing at a gargantuan textbook in her lap. I guessed that she dyed her hair because it was gray … yes, gray; but it had a certain thing about it that sort of made it look normal … for her that is. Her eyes were green like the other girl's but they were much darker, sort of like ever-green. She was pretty tan but not as tan as the other girl and she looked very intelligent and impassive.

Slowly, I lifted myself off the floor and tried to regain some dignity but to no avail for my foot slipped as I was sitting down in my seat and I landed on my back on the floor.

"You're a klutz, aren't you?" the possible-dagger-girl asked offering her hand.

"At times." I replied as I let her pull me up.

"I'm Alesha." The girl said. She pointed over at Ms. Beautiful and said, "That's Vanessa and she's Ereleth." She finished while pointing at college girl (I'm presuming).

"Nice to meet you." I said wearily.

"Are you an assistant?" Vanessa asked.

"A what?" I asked.

"An assistant … someone who helps with the trainers?" Vanessa explained.


"… You're not a trainer are you?" Alesha asked.


"Then what are you?" Ereleth asked.

"I'm attending the camp here." I said truthfully.

The reaction I got from them was actually quite hilarious. Alesha pretty much did a jaw dropper. Vanessa looked freaked out but recovered very quickly and Ereleth just got up and left the compartment. I almost smiled knowing I had already scared some innocent people on this trip.

"Well … uh …," Vanessa started to say, "If that's your decision … then I support you completely!" She finished with a pearly white smile.

"No Vanessa. Just ... no … no way!" Alesha stuttered. "You – you're like … like … tiny!"

"Tell my mother that." I said with crossed arms.

 "Maybe we should!" Alesha exclaimed. "I don't see why they even let you in! They do check the sheets that are sent in you know."

"Well, I didn't look at the stupid sheet." I said.

"Well you can now." Ereleth said as she re-entered the compartment with a pile of papers.

"What do you mean?"

"Let's just say I have connections in this camp." Ereleth said with a small smile as she sat down.

"Your name is?" Ereleth asked fingering through the papers.

"Jones, Elizabeth Jones." Oh yeah! Got that James Bond thing down!

"Alright …" Ereleth fingered through the papers. "Jones … Jones … Ah." Ereleth pulled out a paper, "Here you go."

Wow … Ereleth does have connections; here's the paper with my name, social security number and everything.

Note to self: Be nice to Ereleth, she has connections and she's probably in the Mafia.

I looked over the paper; everything seemed normal: Name: Elizabeth Jones, Age: 17, Height: 5'3 (I really felt like crossing that part out, spitting on the paper, and then setting it on fire when I read that part), Weight: twice of what my real weight actually is, Blood type –


I screamed; I actually screamed and I think the whole train went quiet.

"What does it say?" Alesha finally asked in a hoarse whisper like she had just survived a dust storm or something.


They stared at me, probably thinking I was crazy … or at least my mother was.

"Man Elizabeth," Vanessa sounded like she was in a daze, "your mother is wack."

"You're right." I said sitting down, still staring at the paper being held by my shaky hands, "And never say 'wack' again; it's just wrong."

A 'humph!' came from Vanessa and Alesha snickered. I was too busy hyperventilating to notice Ereleth's reaction but I bet it wouldn't have given away anything she was thinking.

No … No … This can't be happening … I'm going to be stuck at this camp for the summer. There was no way I could get out of it. I think a bird just hit the compartment window outside. I'm going to die!

The paper slipped out of my hands and slid to the floor where Ereleth picked it up before leaving the compartment again. I also slid into my seat and I stared up at the wood ceiling; my fate was sealed: I was going to a fat camp to lose weight that would most likely lead to an eating disorder.

"Here's a pillow … if you like." Vanessa forced a pillow from one of the drawers above the seats into my hand. I took it with a small "Thanks" and then I put it on top of my head that was now flat against the seat.

I started to mutter stuff like "Crap." "This is crap." "Crap, I tell you." "Crap." "This sucks." "Crap." "This is so crappy." "Crap." Then another voice interrupted at the door.

A guy's voice.

Oh crap.

Not that I really care or anything; I guess I just don't want to look like a complete fool in front of someone who could potentially ruin my life here.

"What's going on? I heard a scream." A very level voice asked. Great, another stolid person.

I moved my pillow slightly so that I could see the person. He was probably around 5'11 or so and had black hair and violently green eyes (did everyone have green eyes here? Why can't they have a normal color … like brown?). His expression gave off that he was bored … very bored.

"Nothing Spencer." Alesha replied. "There's just been some sort of misunderstanding."

"Yes," Ereleth reappeared behind Spencer. "It seems that Elizabeth here was sent here because her mother was crazy."

"Oh." Spencer replied with slightly raised eyebrows as he looked at my pathetic self on the seat. "I'm Spencer." He turned to Ereleth and said with a slight smile, "Maybe she should talk to Eva; their situation is somewhat alike."

Ereleth gave a small smile in return and I heard Vanessa sigh and Alesha make a sound that resembled a growl.

"I still can't believe that you did that to your own cousin Spencer!" Alesha said angrily.

Spencer shrugged and said in an airy tone, "It's not my fault that she lost the bet."

"That is if you didn't cheat." Ereleth said as she pushed past him. I noticed that Ereleth was almost at Spencer level in height. Darn it … tall people. Grr …

"Well … we have another four hours before we get to the camp." Vanessa commented while Spencer silently left the compartment.

"Yeah … might as well take a nap or something." Alesha said as she laid back into her seat.

"You do that; I have some work to do anyway." Ereleth agreed.

You know … as the others began to settle into sleep I began to think about … well … things.

Obviously the people here were either pretty nice or pretty psychotic. Either they will befriend me or hate me, so this means I must try to be nice to everyone. So basically I have to suck up to everyone. I just hope the girl with the beefy/sausage arms that I met earlier isn't in a high place though I doubt it seriously.

I stifled a yawn as I watched Alesha dip into sleep. Maybe I do need a nap … I mean I'm probably safe in here anyway.

That's a good idea; maybe I'll feel better when I wake up. Yeah … that's it. And when I get out of the train my love in shining armor on top of a big white horse will sweep me off my feet, kiss me passionately, and take me away before I ever had to go to the stupid fat camp.

Sure …

… I was right; a bird did hit the window.


Alright … sucky ending to a pretty good chapter (in my opinion). Well …I guess if you're not sure if you want to keep on reading I'll give you a small summary of the next chapter (this will be on my website: ~ Let's just say some of the people here are not only here for physical reasons; they are also a bit mental (see author's note #4 if you are put off by this)

[2] ~ This girl is not really following Elizabeth's theory; she just had this strange urge to bring pain to this girl who was much shorter and much weaker then her.

Summary/Sneak peek-

"Ah! Such radiance, such elegance, such –"

"GET THE FREAK 'OFFA ME!!!!!!!!!!!"

Yes, Elizabeth has now met the most insane person in the universe; for this person likes her …really likes her. And yet they met because he had tripped on top of her. Then of course there's the crazy assistant person who thinks she's some girl called Eithene and the other assistant that serves food and has a strong disliking to getting wet as Elizabeth found out when she accidentally spilled her glass of water all over him. But at least she met her new best friend … but then again she also challenged freaky-fictional characters from movies to come and get her.


Replies to Earlier Reviews:

samuraiheavenI am so sorry. I really mean it. I guess that I was just sort of focused on how great I thought this was going to be that I forgot to change some things to make this more ... nice. Well, you're right though, and I hope you read the author's notes and you noticed the changes in the story. You can continue to criticize me if you like (I really don't care that much) and I hope that you can point out to me if I seem to be getting into my 'insult mode' but I hope that I at least made you change your mind about me being a stereo-type and a selfish person. And if I didn't * shrugs * I guess you can't win them all.

I guess till next time or … something …

-The Lapris Knight