This is a redrafting of my failed story 'A4 Fantasy Adventures'. The story was good but the way I was telling it wasn't. So after a little rewriting as well as a few alterations to the plot I now present:
A4 Fantasy Adventure:
Chapter 1: Nature Walk
We see Grimes sitting against a tree in the middle of a park whilst in the distance we can see children playing in the background.
Grimes: Man this day could not get better. I haven't seen Sexton all day and any minute now Rachael should be here. Nothing could possibly go wrong for me at all today.
Sexton: (Shouts) Yo Grimes!
Grimes: Ah crap not him.
Sexton walks onto the screen and stands next to Grimes.
Sexton: Where the hell have you been mate? I've got something to show you!
Grimes: You mean like that so – called monster underneath your bed?
Sexton: Yeah well …
Grimes: (Annoyed) The same monster may I add that you got me and the other lads to come gut it open for you?
Sexton: (Sweat drops) Um ……… yeah I guess ……
Grimes: (Angry) The same monster, which we brought a shit load of axes, swords and chainsaws to use on it and it, turned out to be one of your old socks?
Sexton: Yeah but this time its real! I just found out about a metallic gauntlet of righteousness, which can grant its user the power of the gods, themselves!
Grimes: (Sighs) Why the hell should I care?
Sexton: Its rumoured there's a shit load of gold buried with it as well.
Grimes: (Smiles) GOLD?
Sexton: And swords!
Grimes: Shut the hell up about your sword fetishes will ya? Its creeps me out when you talk about it.
Sexton: (Smiles) But I do like swords!
Grimes: You need me because?
Sexton: The gauntlet is buried somewhere in Coombe Abby and no one else will go with me.
Grimes: You're not going to let me get on with my life till I go with you?
Grimes: (Sighs) All right (picks up his staff) Lets go.
Sexton: (Waving his arms in the air) Yippy!
Grimes: Dammit Sexton stop being such a goon! People are looking.
As Grimes and Sexton walk off screen we see Tim popping his head from out of a bush which was behind them.
Tim: The Metallic Gauntlet of Righteousness? Even if it is real I shall clam it for my …
Kid: Heads up.
Without warning Tim gets hit hard in the head with a football.
Kid: Sorry mister.
Tim: (Rubbing his head) Go away before I blast you away you little twat.
The little boy runs off crying.
Tim: Serves the little twat right.
Much Later …
We now see both Grimes and Sexton walking through the thick green forest that is Coombe Abby as tiny rays of light poke through the thick leafs.
Sexton: Are we there yet?
Grimes: (Annoyed) Dammit Sexton how the hell should I know? You're the one who said you know the way.
Sexton: O yeah I forgot.
Sexton pulls out a wriggled up McDonalds burger wrapper from under his jacket.
Sexton: Right according to this map …
Grimes: Sexton that's a McDonalds burger wrapper.
Sexton: No it isn't it's a map, see?
Grimes looks on the other side of the wrapper which has a crude drawing of a forest on it with a massive 'X' on one side of it.
Sexton: It's an ancient map see?
Grimes: For the love of … Sexton that's just the burger wrapper, which someone has drawn on to, you fool.
Sexton: So then how come the drunk guy outside McDonalds was willing to sell it to me for all of the cash in your wallet?
Grimes: (Shocked) WHAT!?!
Sexton: How come you had over 200 bucks in you wallet anyway?
Grimes: (Angry) That's none of your business anyway what were you doing with my wallet anyway?
Sexton: I found it on my kitchen floor the night we had that party and we all got wasted.
Grimes: Considering the fact you have been to the hospital 11 times this month alone to have your stomach pumped makes me question your parents sanity.
Sexton: As I was saying I was going to return to you the day I got out from hospital but then I met this drunk guy outside McDonalds who said he'd sell me this map to the Gauntlet of Righteousness if I gave him 200 bucks.
Grimes: Why did you give him my money?
Sexton: I had too … I was drunk again.
Grimes: (Shocked) AGAIN? HOW?
Sexton: The pub you goon, I went to celebrate with the lads over the fact I had just come out of hospital after I had my stomach pumped.
Grimes: (Sighs) How the hell can this get any worse?
Sexton: (Looking at the so-called 'map') I think we're lost.
Grimes: (Pure rage) HORSESHIT!
At that very moment …
The sound of Grimes shouting 'horseshit' echoes throughout the forest even at its entrance where Tim is just passing by.
Tim: What has Sexton done now?
We quickly go back to Grimes and Sexton who are both standing in one of the deepest parts of the Coombe Abby forest completely and utter lost and in Grimes case with a hint of murderous rage.
Sexton: Well here's another fine mess you've got us into Grimes.
Grimes: (Shocked) ME?!?
Grimes: You're the stupid twat who brought that stupid burger wrapper in the first place and might I add with MY money!
Sexton: Waitaminute! I just had a thought!
Grimes: What about?
Sexton: Are we anywhere near Wimbledon Common?
Grimes: Tell ya what Sexton, lets pretend for a minute that you have some form of a brain and lets also pretend you understand the urgency of our situation.
Grimes: We our both lost in the middle of one of the biggest forests in Coventry, we also have no food or water and no idea what kind of vicious animals are waiting to devour us. Do you know how long we have left to live Sexton?
Sexton: Um … let me think … carry the two … plus the one … is the answer cheeseburger?
Grimes: (Sweat drops) … (Silence) … (Even more silence) … Do you have a gun on you by any chance Sexton?
Sexton: Ah nope.
Grimes kicks the nearest tree in annoyance whilst shouting:
But unfortunately he also pisses off a few all ready unhappy squirrels that then begin to throw nuts at him.
Grimes: (Covering his head) OUCH! Son of a …
We see a very annoyed Tim who has just lost Grimes and Sexton.
Tim: (Angry) Dammit you stop to take a whiz and the next thing you know you're lost your prey.
Minutes later …
After the 'incident' with the squirrels Grimes and Sexton are still wandering Coombe Abby completely and utterly lost but hope has now appeared as Sexton has discovered some tracks.
Sexton: Good thing we found these tracks right Grimes?
Grimes: (Unsure) Yeah, um … Sexton?
Sexton: Yeah mate?
Grimes: (Points to some rocks) Didn't we past that very same rock formation only a few minutes ago?
Sexton: (Looks back at the formation and then back at Grimes) Really?
Grimes: In fact to try you the truth I think we've come this way before.
Sexton: (Scratches his head) Are you sure?
Grimes: I'm pretty sure we're going around in circles Sexton.
Sexton: No we're not.
Grimes: (Puzzled) How can you be sure?
Sexton: Well for starters by only looking at these tracks I can tell who these guys are.
Grimes: OK then brainiac tell me, who are they?
Sexton: Well for starters I know for sure these guys are both male and are probably aged between 16 and 18. Also one is a wizard as you can tell by the fact he is dragging his staff. The other is probably some kind of fighter who is wearing body armour and carrying two swords, which are strapped across his back.
Grimes doesn't answer. He looks at his staff, which he has been dragging along the ground and looks at Sexton who has two swords strapped across his back.
Grimes: (Angry) Sexton you've just described us you goon!
Grimes: (Shouts) YES!!!
Sexton: Soooo … we still lost?
Grimes: (Sighs) Yes Sexton we are.
McCrea: (O/S) Not anymore you are lads.
Sexton: (Confused) Whom?
Grimes: McCrea? Is that you?
McCrea: Of course it's me Grimes, who else would be willing to come and rescue you?
Sexton: Good point.
Grimes: Please tell me you know a way out of here?
McCrea: Of course! Unlike Sexton I actually plan out my adventures in case I get lost.
Sexton: Who what now?
Grimes: So you have a map?
McCrea: No not really.
Grimes: Ah crap in a hat. So how are we going to get out?
McCrea: I left a trail of breadcrumbs along the path I took.
McCrea moves the bush behind him to reveal several animals eating the breadcrumbs, which were littering the path.
McCrea: (Shocked) The hell?
Sexton: That can't be good.
Grimes: That never happened in the original story.
McCrea runs towards the animals and starts shouting and screaming at whilst waving his hands around the place.
McCrea: (Angry) Stupid animals! Piss off!
Suddenly the squirrels start throwing nuts at McCrea.
McCrea: Agh! Stop that! I travel all the way from Ireland only to get attacked by squirrels? This sucks!
Grimes: How can this get any worse?
Suddenly a giant robotic foot lands behind Sexton and Grimes.
Sexton: Um … Grimes?
Grimes: Don't say anything Sexton, I know about the robot. (Looks over to McCrea) Well Mr 'Noble Warrior' aren't you going to attack it?
McCrea: (Angry) #&*$ OFF!
Grimes: (Angry) Hay! We don't say the F word in this story you got it?
Sexton: Um … what exactly does the robot look like McCrea?
McCrea: (Looks up) Well for starters it looks like a typical giant robot but with one small difference.
Grimes: Which is?
McCrea: It has no head and its main body is well ... (unsure) believe it or not is just a giant camera!
Grimes: … A giant camera?
Sexton: Have you been drinking?
McCrea: (Angry) Sexton you goon you know I don't drink during the day!
Sexton: Well excuse me but I'm finding it very hard to believe that there is a giant robot behind me with a camera for a torso and furthermore …
Grimes: (Looking up) Um … Sexton maybe you should look up.
Sexton looks up to see what McCrea had described earlier which is indeed a giant robot with a photographic camera for a torso.
Sexton: Well there's something you don't see every day.
McCrea: You can say that again.
Sexton: Well there's some …
Grimes: (Annoyed) Dammit Sexton it's just a figure of speech!
McCrea: I think we best run away in the opposite direction of that thing right now.
Sexton: Why do you say that McCrea?
Suddenly the left hand of the 'RoboCamera' retracts inside and then a machine gun appears in its place.
Sexton: WOW! Did you guys see that? It was like something out of Transformers or something! … Guys?
Sexton turns round to find McCrea and Grimes have run away.
Sexton: Ah nuts.
Seconds later …
We see Tim walking through the forest of Coombe Abby looking at his surroundings whilst holding a map.
Tim: Which way did Sexton take Grimes anyway?
Suddenly Tim begins to hear a large stomping sound in the distance.
Tim: (Confused) What the …?
Suddenly we see McCrea running out of some bushes and towards Tim.
Tim: (Confused) Mc …
McCrea: (Terrified) Save yourself Tim (Runs past Tim)!
Tim: (Confused) … Crea?
Then we see Grimes running of the same bushes attempting to play a rock n roll tune on his guitar staff.
Grimes: (Panicking) Dam I can't play a tune while I'm running for my life!
Tim: (Confused) Grimes?
Grimes notices Tim and stops right in front of him.
Grimes: TIM! Thank goodness you're here.
Tim: What did Sexton do know?
Grimes: Got McCrea and me lost in a forest with a giant killer robot, which has a camera for a body.
Tim: (Confused) A giant what? Have you been hanging out with Giff again?
Suddenly Sexton starts running out of the bushes like his life depended on it.
Sexton: (Angry) Why the heck didn't you tell me you were about to run?
McCrea: Because you were looking up at it like a goon, goon boy.
Grimes: Plus we needed a good distraction.
Suddenly the giant 'RoboCamera' rips down several trees and begins to walk over towards the gang.
Tim: (Shocked) Good lord!
McCrea: (Worried) It has a machine gun for a hand now?
Grimes: Don't worry lads I have a plan (turns to Tim) Tim, teleport us out of here mate.
Tim: (Sweat drops) Um Grimes …
McCrea: I forgot Tim's 'Star Staff' can teleport people and objects from one place to another depending on the fact that he has to go to that place first to actually teleport us there.
Grimes: (Sarcastically) Thank you for the lesson Mr McCrea. What are we going to learn tomorrow? (Looks at Tim) So why the heck are you just standing there? Teleport already!
McCrea: (Mumbles) Snotty git.
Tim: Actually Grimes there's a slight problem with your plan.
Grimes: Which is?
Tim: … My Star Staff isn't working.
Grimes looks at the approaching robot and then back at Tim.
Grimes: Ah crap in a hat. (Turns to Tim) What do you mean its not working?
Tim: (Annoyed) I mean its not working! (Shakes the staff) It's busted!
McCrea: You're joking right? (Worried) Right?
Sexton: (Panicking) What are we going to do? WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO!?!?!?
Grimes: (Shouts) Sexton shut up!
Sexton: (Scared) Then do something dammit!
Grimes: Guess I'll have to considering the fact I'm the only one who actually bothers to carry their own weight on this team.
Grimes: I mean McCrea and myself are the only ones who actually bother to carry their own weight on this team.
The 'RoboCamera' continues to move towards the gang with the machine gun arm aimed directly at them.
Grimes: I know I promised my parents I wouldn't use this spell on any living creature (Evil grin) but seeing how this thing isn't alive.
McCrea: What do you need us to do?
Grimes: I need you and Sexton to distract it!
Sexton: What did he say? I wasn't listening.
McCrea: Um … Grimes said you had to distract the robot by yourself.
Sexton: (Confused) He did?
Grimes: Um … (Nods with an evil grin) Yeah I did.
Within seconds Sexton grabs his two swords and charges towards the 'Robocamera' with an insane look on his face screaming at the top of his lungs.
Grimes: (Turns to McCrea) You know that was better then my plan.
McCrea: Funnier might I add.
Tim: (Looking over his Star Staff) I've got a feeling that I should get this working A.S.A.P.
We now see Sexton attempting to attack the 'RoboCamera' but unfortunately he isn't able to damage its foot (which is as big as him) at all.
Sexton: … (Looking up) Ah crap in a hat.
We see Grimes, McCrea and Tim discussing Grime's plan whilst Sexton's screams can be heard off screen.
Grimes: First I need Tim to get the shield option on that good for nothing 'Star Staff' of his working.
Sexton: (O/S) HELP ME!
McCrea: (Confused) Dammit how can that thing miss?
Tim: (Talking to Grimes) Look it's not my fault the thing isn't working.
Grimes: Can you get it working within the next ten minutes?
Tim: (Confused) I … guess… but …?
Grimes: Great whilst your doing that me and McCrea will watch Sexton losing.
Sexton: (O/S) HA! You've really got terrible aim you know that? Who bothered to build you anyway? You suck!
The 'RoboCamera' 's right hand retracts and a huge glowing chainsaw replaces it.
Sexton: … Me and my big mouth.
The scene goes back to Grimes and the others.
McCrea: Glad I'm not him.
Grimes: Tim is it ready?
Tim: Only force fields I'm afraid.
Grimes: (Smiling) Just what I wanted to hear (turning to Sexton) Sexton you can come back now.
Sexton suddenly goes flying into the air screaming for his life and hits the tree directly behind Grimes and the others hard.
McCrea: (Closes his eyes) OUCH! You ok Sexton?
Sexton: (Singing) 'I'm a little tea pot'…
Tim: … I'm sure its nothing too serious.
Grimes: Tim activate your force field to protect us whilst I perform this spell.
Tim: Um … ok.
Tim activates the force field whilst Grimes begins to play a tune on his guitar staff.
Grimes: (Singing and playing) 'Money doesn't make the world go round … (Shouts) ONLY BIG EXPLOSIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!
The 'RoboCamera' stares down at Grimes and the others whilst under it a small energy forming under it.
RoboCamera: (Robotic voice) Fascinating.
McCrea: Waitaminute it ca …
A bright light engulfs McCrea and the others before he can finish his sentence.
To be continued …