A4 Fantasy Adventure:
Chapter 4: The Path across the Bridge with the Pink Fridge
We see the Techno Baron (the same one from the last chapter) kneeling before a mirror which has not his reflection but the image of a dark clouded figure with bright crimson eyes looking down onto him. As he speaks a thunderous like tone can be heard in his voice as if it could destroy heaven itself.
Mysterious figure: How goes the plan Techno Baron?
Techno Baron: All is going as planned my lord. Using the metallic gauntlet of righteousness I have been able to power my cloaking device 24/7 so that no one is able to see my castle.
Mysterious figure: (Sighs) Are you sure about that?
Techno Baron: (Nervous) Um … Yes my lord. Why do you ask?
Mysterious figure: (Annoyed) It's just the fact that I've been watching the evening news to see a report about a mysterious tall black castle like yours appearing out of nowhere near Coventry. You do check that cloaking device don't you Techno Baron?
Techno Baron: (Angry) Ah #%&*ing hell! That cheap piece of crap has failed me again.
Mysterious figure: Considering you were smart enough to build those giant robotic cameras of yours I thought you would be smart enough to check that dam cloaking device of yours regularly.
Techno Baron: (Annoyed) Well I have been busy my lord.
Mysterious figure: (Annoyed) O yes sitting on your ass all day watching German porno fetish videos and drinking alarming amounts of beer can be very exhausting.
Rachel: (O/S and shocked) YOU SICK #*&%!
The Techno Baron jumped in fear at the voice shouting from behind him. He quickly turned round to see Rachel once again out of her jail cell. The mysterious figure groaned in annoyance whilst the Techno Baron sweat dropped in fear.
Mysterious figure: (Annoyed) Why is she out of her cell?
Techno Baron: (Sweat drops) Well um … You see my lord I can explain …
Rachel: (Sighs) You know I'm beginning to wonder about my safety with you.
Techno Baron: If you're worried about what he just said then don't worry my dear. It's all sex, lies and videotape.
Rachel: (Raises an eyebrow) I'm pretty sure that's a lawsuit waiting to happen there.
Mysterious figure: I wasn't lying. This is lying, 'My that was a lovely cup of tea Mrs Boil. Any chances of you letting me get a feel'?
Both Rachel and the Techno Baron stare at the mysterious figure looking confused and unsure with a hint of terrified.
Both: (Sweatdrop) Oooook.
Elsewhere … … …
Grimes: (Shouts) Hurry up you lazy bunch!
Grimes shouted again at the band of brave warriors behind him who were obviously tired from their long trek up the mountain to the castle where Grime's girlfriend Rachel was being held captive.
Sexton: (Confused) 'Long trek'? (Looks back) But I can still see the bus stop from here.
Beach: (Confused) Who the hell are you talking to?
Luke: (Annoyed) What's up with Grimes anyway?
Tim: His girlfriend got kidnapped you idiot.
Tim: (Annoyed) Yes you morons!
Greg: Tim I'm afraid I must apologise for their attitudes I've only been training these guys for a few days and unfortunately there not the best.
McCrea: (Shocked) 'Not the best?' (Angry) Are you trying to say you lot have been sent on a suicide mission?
Greg's troops: (Terrified) Suicide mission!?!
Greg: (Sweat drops) No, no lads we're not on any suicide mission.
Adrian: Then why the hell did Copper let McKernan borrow us for this mission?
Greg: Because we're the only ones who were available.
Greg's troops: Whew.
Grimes: (Shouts) Hurry up already lads I can see the castle's entrance.
McCrea: (Shouts) We're coming, we're coming hold your horses!
McCrea and the others quickly begin to speed up as they attempt to catch up with Grimes who has raced off ahead of them. As the others race ahead Tim begins to slow down as he begins to think about the current advents that have happened to him so far. The one thing that was bothering him was whom actually had the knowledge to build a giant robot like the 'RoboCamera' in the first placed? He knew who ever built it was working for this group called 'Chaos' but who was this person. That's when it hit him. A flashback!
We see Tim sitting in a chair at a library reading a book called 'How to get your Techno Wizard Licensee'. Sitting next to him is his mate (sort of) Sean Marley who is also reading the same book but is looking a bit more annoyed and frustrated then Tim.
Marley: (Shouts) Ah to hell with this crap!
Marley throws his book onto the floor in annoyance whilst Tim just Sighs. That was the tenth time today he had done that.
Marley: (Annoyed) Why the hell do we learn this rubbish anyway?
Tim: (Reading his book) Because we want to pass our star staff exam remember?
Marley: (Huffs) So why are they making us learn all this stuff then? Are they scared that a bunch of us Techno Wizards are going to rally together and start a war or something?
Tim: (Looks up at Marley) A bunch of Techno Wizards did rally together and start a war against the magical Wizards a thousand years ago you idiot! Then it went out of control and soon both tribes of Wizards were fighting each other. (Raises an eyebrow) Did you sleep through your history lessons at school again or something?
Marley: (Punches his fist into the air and shouts) We could have won that war!
Tim: (Still reading his book and mumbles) No we couldn't have …
Marley: The Magical Wizards were losing that war. There was nothing they could have done to stop us!
Tim: (Still reading his book and mumbles) One good EMP blast and they could have won actually.
Marley: They should have been wiped out! All those magic losers should be serving us as our slaves! If it hadn't been for the Olympians we could have deployed the weapon a lot sooner then we did!
Tim: (Still reading his book and looks annoyed) Do you ever shut the hell up Marley?
Marley: (Shouts) THAT'S IT! (Points to the sky) I'm going to follow my dream! (Turns to Tim) Goodbye Tim I'm leaving now to follow my dream and become an evil Techno Baron and build giant robotic cameras and enslave the magical Wizards!
(Waves) So see ya later.
Marley runs out of the library into the sunset whilst Tim just stares at him in disbelief.
Tim: (Raises an eyebrow) What the hell is that guy on?
End flashback ………
Tim stops dead in his tracks with his eyes filled with disbelief. Was it possible? Was Marley responsible for the attack? He shook his head to say no. No it couldn't be Marley. Who ever created those robotic cameras was clearly an evil genius where as Tim knew that Marley was nothing more then a stupid racist idiot who got drunk an awful lot but then again …
McCrea: (Shouts) TIM!
Tim snapped back into reality after hearing McCrea shout out his name. He looked and to his shock McCrea and the others were already a good deal away from him but had only just noticed that Tim had stopped walking with them.
Grimes: (Shouts) HURRY UP TIM!
Adrian: (Mumbles) What a #*%&ing idiot.
McCrea: (Angry) I heard that you git! That's my mate you're talking about!
Adrian: (Try's acting hard) So what? What are you going to do about it mister ginger beard?
Without even thinking it McCrea punched Adrian right in the face knocking him to the ground instantly.
Grimes: (Confused) What the?
Greg: (Shocked) McCrea!?!
Luke: (Annoyed) Hay you can't do that to our mate!
Callum: You tell him Luke!
Sexton: Lads calm down will ya.
Grimes: (Angry as hell) O forget this I'm going solo from now on.
Grimes in an angry mood decides to continue walking whilst leaving the other lads to argue amongst themselves.
Beach: (Angry) I'll punch your lights out McCrea!
Greg: (Trying to stop the fight) You three calm down already. I'm sure McCrea didn't mean to punch Adrian.
Adrian: (Holding a bleeding noise) Yes he did!
McCrea: (Points his finger directly at Adrian's face) Call my mates #*%&ing idiots again and I'll do more then break your noise!
Greg: (Confused) Who did he call a #*%&ing idiot?
Greg: (Angry) Why you!
Greg punches Adrian punches Adrian right in the guts causing him to collapse onto the floor holding his stomach whilst gasping for air.
Greg: Tim's an old mate of mine so don't you dare call him a #*%&ing idiot around me!
Sexton: (Annoyed) Or me.
Sexton kicks Adrian in a certain area that should never be kicked very hard might I add. Soon Tim finally catches up with the gang and soon notices him laying on the floor in pain.
Tim: (Points to Adrian) Um … Why is he like that? Not that I care might I add considering I hated this guy all throughout primary school.
Sexton: (Thinking) Um … he said some very sexist things about your mum.
Tim: (Shouts) WHAT!?! (Raises his Star Staff in anger) YOU SON OF A BITCH!
Before Tim can hit Adrian McCrea and Greg quickly grab him whilst the other members of Greg's squad look on in disbelief but are also talking to one another in whispers.
Beach: (Whispering) Greg's one of us do you think we should let him in on the plan?
Callum: (Whispering) No General Copper ordered us not to reveal anything to him at all.
Beach: (Whispering) But …
Luke: (Whispering) I agree with Callum. We have our orders and we must carry them out no matter the cost.
Beach: (Whispering) I suppose and to be honest I won't miss Grimes and the others. Especially not Sexton.
Luke: (Sniggers and whispers) Who wouldn't?
Callum: (Whispering) Good unlike Grimes we are not clouded by our emotions. We will eliminate the threat to Coventry once and for all. (Turns to McCrea and the others with a sinister grin) No matter the cost.
Beach: (Whispering) Ok but um … Who brought the bomb?
Luke: (Whispering) What!?!
Callum: (Whispering) Luke?
Luke: (Whispering) I thought Beach brought it?
Beach: (Whispering) I thought Callum brought it?
Callum: (Whispering) No I said I would plant the bomb on someone but I didn't say I would bring it.
Beach lets out a 'whew' sound.
Luke: (Whispering) So who did you plant it on?
Callum: (Whispering) Naturally I planted it on Adrian whom is the most expendable of all of us.
Callum: (Whispering) Relax if McCrea had hit it he would of blown up by now.
Both Luke and Beach let out another 'whew' when suddenly …
Sexton: Hold up lads. (Looks around) Where the hell has Grimes ran off to?
Everyone stops what they are doing and begin to look around.
Tim: He must have gone on ahead.
Adrian: (Coughs up blood) No 'duh' you moron!
Tim: (Angry) WHY YOU!
Tim kick starts to kick Adrian in the face whilst McCrea and Greg try to stop whilst Callum, Beach and Luke looking on not one of them noticing that Sexton has begun to walk ahead of them like Grimes.
Grimes continues to run ahead of the others trying, hoping that he will get to the castle in time before anything bad happens to his beloved Rachel. Up ahead he sees a bridge and continues to run towards as fast as his legs will take him when suddenly.
Voice: (Shouts) HALT!
Grimes stops with a puzzled look on his face. Someone had shouted at him to stop but there was clearly no one around for miles. The only thing that was near him was a pink fridge that had been placed right beside the bridge almost as if it was a tollbooth. He shucked his head thinking he was hearing voices due to the stress and worry about Rachel and continued to walk on.
Voice: (Shouting) I SAID HALT!
Grimes stopped again and looked around in confusion. He definitely heard that one this time.
Grimes: (Scratching his head in confusion) Who said that?
Voice: I did.
Grimes: And who are you?
Voice: Don't you recognise the sound of my voice?
Grimes: (Thinking) Wait it does sound familiar ……… Haigh? Peter Haigh?
Haigh: (Cheerful) Correct my old mate Grimes. How have you been lately?
Grimes: (Looking around) I'm on my way to the castle over there mate. My girlfriend is being held captive there. You remember Rachel right?
Grimes: (Still looking around) Well you see she got kidnapped by this giant walking robot camera and now me Tim and a load of lads are on our way to rescue her and beat the crap out of the bastard who kidnapped her.
Haigh: O I thought I saw her when that giant robot camera thing walked by earlier.
Grimes: (Big smiley face) You've seen them?
Haigh: Yep they defiantly went this way a couple of hours ago.
Grimes: (Jumps up in the air) YES! O man I haven't been this happy since I got to third base with Rachel. (Looks around again) Um … Haigh?
Grimes: (Seriously confused) Where the hell are you exactly mate?
Haigh: I'm here.
Grimes: (Still confused) Where?
Haigh: (Shouts) Right here at the side of the bridge you moron!
Grimes looks at the side of the bridge but all he sees is a pink fridge. No surely it couldn't be ………
Grimes: (Worried) … Haigh?
Haigh: (Cheerful) Yep it's me Grimes, Haigh the Pink fridge guardian of the bridge. Say that's rhymes.
Grimes: (Eyes widen in disbelief) … How … did …
Haigh: O you mean my transformation? Well you see it was like this ………
See a lad with long dark brown messy unwashed hair walking along towards a bridge whilst next to him is another lad who has short light brown hair who is looking a bit high and is also holding a cigarette or something similar (wink, wink).
Giff: (Dizzy) Wow man look at all those colours.
Haigh: (Worried) Um … Giff old mate maybe you shouldn't be smoking stuff you've been keeping in your dad's sock draw anymore. I think he's dirty boxers might be affecting it a little.
Giff: (Eyes widen) What? (Angry) How dare you #hic# insult my family's honour you heretic!
Haigh: I heard a 'hic' have you been drinking alarming amounts of booze again? Because if you have don't forget that's Sexton's job and now he's getting paid for it.
Giff: (Angry) Silence you cur! I shall now put a spell on you for your awful lies and … OOO talking trashcans.
Haigh: (Annoyed) That's it Giff (Snatches Giff's cigarette out of his hands) Its time to admit your have not only a drinking problem but also a drugs problem!
Without hesitating Giff reached for his wand and pointed it directly at Haigh's face.
Haigh: ……… Ah crap in a hat.
End flashback ………
Haigh: … And to make matters worse he put another curse on me to prevent anyone from crossing his bridge alive unless they answered three questions correctly.
Grimes: (Eating some pizza) #Munch#, #Munch# … Bummer mate.
Haigh: I'm assuming you wish to cross this bridge right?
Grimes: (Burps and wipes his mouth clean) Correct old pal.
Haigh: Well like I said earlier you must first answer three questions correctly or … (drum roll) DIE!!! (Du, du, du)
Grimes: (Nods) Sure mate I'll do anything to rescue my beloved …
Sexton: (Shouts) GRIMES!
Before Grimes can finish his sentence he turns round to see Sexton running towards him whilst behind him are the others who seem to be still arguing.
Haigh: (Curious) Is that McCrea?
Grimes: (Looking into the distance) Yep and Tim and also sadly Sexton.
Sexton finally catches up to Grimes whilst huffing and puffing for breathe.
Sexton: Grimes mate you shouldn't have ran off like that.
Grimes: (Annoyed) Well excuse me Sexton but I haven't got time to wait for those lot to finish having their 'lovers tiff' whilst the life of my girlfriend is in danger!
Tim: (Catches up) O sorry about that Grimes but Adrian makes some rather 'rude' comments about me so we took turns in beating him senseless.
Haigh: (Annoyed) Dam I can't believe I missed that!
Tim: (Confused) Who said … (Notices the Pink Fridge) … Oh no …
Haigh: Hi Tim long time no see mate.
McCrea: (Eyes bulge out) Haigh!?!
Haigh: O hi McCrea I didn't notice you there.
Greg: Wow that's something you don't see everyday.
Callum: (Confused) What the heck is going on here?
Grimes: The 'high' wizard Giff turned our mate Haigh here into a pink fridge and now he is cursed to be here until so many people pass this bridge.
Adrian: (Huffs) So what? As far as I can see this is just some idiot who couldn't keep his mouth shut.
Greg: (Mumbles) He's not the only one …
Adrian: What's to stop us crossing this bridge huh?
The others begin to chatter amounts themselves whilst Adrian begins to cross the bridge.
Haigh: I won't do that if I were you …
Adrian: (Shouts) Ah shut it you slag!
Adrian kicks Haigh onto his side whilst he continues to walk across the bridge.
Haigh: (Angry) Bastard! (Shouts) Trapdoor!
Suddenly a trapdoor opens underneath where Adrian is standing; he looks down in terror in a cartoon like way and then begins to fall to his doom down into the river below the bridge. He splashes into it hard as he is pulled down into the current whilst the others look at him with confusion.
Luke: (Confused) Wait … Is that it?
Haigh: 3 … 2 … 1!
Adrian admits to swim to safety but suddenly without warning he notices a very steep waterfall directly in front of him.
Adrian: (Splashing around) Ah crap in a hat.
The others look on helplessly as Adrian falls to his doom and his screams of pain can he heard echoing towards them.
Sexton: … Dam and he owed me twenty bucks.
Haigh: Right so I am correct in guessing you all fully understand what happens if you ignore me?
Haigh: Right so who is going first hmm?
Sexton: (Raises his hand) I will teacher!
Grimes: Ah heck …
Haigh: Ok then Sexton. (Coughs) In order to pass this bridge you must answer these three questions and please keep in mind that I have a built in lie detector.
Sexton: Ok fire away I'm not scared. (Knees start to rattle) Much that is.
Haigh: Question one. What is your favourite drink?
Sexton: (Shouts) BOOZE!
Haigh: (Unsure) Um … I'll accept that considering you don't keep track of what you drink. Question two. Who is playing the evil cop in 'The Bill'?
Sexton: That guy from Eastenders who loved motorbikes and who also couldn't keep a marriage together.
Haigh: I'll accept that. Question three. What … Is the capital of the United States of America?
Sexton: (Unsure) Um … Washington D.C?
Haigh: Correct. Congratulations Sexton you can cross the bridge.
Sexton: (Grins) Sweet!
Sexton who is looking extremely happy with himself crosses the bridge whilst the others look on in disbelief.
McCrea: (Unsure) Is that it?
Greg: Looks like it.
Grimes: (Confused) Um … Good for him I guess (starts to clap).
Beach: Right my turn.
Callum: Good luck Beach.
Luke: Come back in one-piece mate.
Haigh: (Shouts) HALT! (Coughs) In order to pass this bridge you must answer these three questions and please keep in mind that I have a built in lie detector.
Beach: (Huffs) … Whatever …
To be continued …
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