AN: I have to begin with an apology. Up until recently, I was a cynical, disbelieving person. My love of logic was so great that I thought there was little room in my life for religion. my lack of faith brought me nothing but misery over the past two years, misery I sometimes took out on others. If you are one of these people, thank you for having the courage to correct me. I know now that you did deserve the contempt I had for you, and I am pleased to now report that, due to a chance encounter in a convenient store, I have finally found my true faith. So Merry Christmas, and thank you for caring for my immortal soul.

It is a cold, harsh winter day,
Brutal in its emptiness.
Everyone is lonely;
separated by the defenses they construct,
to save them from the driving sleet.

Shivering, and miserable,
I stepped inside the tiny store.
I wander through the aisles
Of inane and worthless crap
looking for something –anything-
to fill me; kill my pain.

Twice the cashier asked if he can help me; and twice I decline.
He is a kindly man, with a smiling face
That seems indicative of
Some great inner power

It is several fruitless minutes
until I accept his aid.
Smiling more, he takes my hand;
guiding me through the treacherous aisles
of things that are unnecessary .

He leads me to a lucid fridge,
indicates a higher shelf
and opens the door for me.

With frigid hands, I reach up and take the item.
It is golden, softly luminescent in the harsh fluorescent light.
Pleasantly cool, but my hands are such that it warms them as I hold it.
He smiles at me, and I smiled back as I exhorted
it spreads throughout me, working its way to my extremities, which tingle joyously.
I feel wonderful
Light and free,
Fit to soar through the heavens
on a bit of sparkling breeze.
I am filled with joy.
After toil, angst and doubt,
I have found what is important.

And it is Eggnog.

Bwa Ha Ha Ha Ha! This was SO much fun to write.

Atheists, if I scared you, I apologize.
Christians, if I offended you, consider this:
"Can God make a rock so heavy that He can't pick it up?"

I personally don't think this is that offensive, but my standards are a tad abnormal, so as a precaution I will say: if you must dissent, don't be an idiot about it. That means leave your email. Thanks a lot.

Happy Jesus' half-birthday!