Authors Notes: - One more chapter left…

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"Do I have to?" Tina whined, staring at the imposing old brick building. She was wearing a new, similarly revealing outfit and her hair was slightly damp. "I'm afraid they'll be something horrible in there…"

The producer appeared in the frame long enough to push her towards the glass doors that led into the lobby of the apartment building. He whispered something in her ear franticly before hopping back out of the shot. Tina sighed and walked inside. She looked around the lobby, which looked like one you'd seen in an old hotel and relaxed.

"Well, it looks a lot better than that last place." She said hesitantly, walking towards the elevator.

"I'm surprised the landlord let them film in there." Seth said thoughtfully, watching the shot switch to Tina walking down the hall towards Donovan's apartment.

"I had to persuade him." Donovan admitted.

"That had to have been a pleasant meeting." Seth chuckled elbowing the still forlorn David.

Tina arrived at Donovan's door and hesitantly opened it. She leaned in and sighed with relief. "Thank god! It looks normal!"

She walked inside and looked around. The walls were a stark white, the floor was a well polished dark hardwood and there were only a few tasteful paintings hanging from the walls. Tina walked into the kitchen with a big grin.

"Let's find out what's in his fridge. You can tell a lot about a guy that way!" She said tugging on one of the expensive aluminum double doors. Inside were dozens of bottles of water and nothing else.

"What the hell?" Tina said in confused shock. She opened the freezer door and found only a single bag of coffee beans. "What is this guy on a liquid diet?"

Everyone in the van burst out laughing. David fell onto Seth's lap, clutching his sides and whimpering in pain between guffaws. Seth snorted he was laughing so hard. Even Donovan was laughing, though while trying to look dignified. He put a hand over his mouth and squeezed his eyes shut; his shoulders shook with silent mirth.

"Oh… god!" David squealed. "I can't believe she just said that!"

Tina closed the fridge and went to the cabinets. She searched through them, finding expensive dishes, cut crystal glasses, normal kitchen utensils and cooking supplies but no food.

"I guess he only eats out…" She mused, leaving the silver, black and white ultramodern kitchen behind.

"I guess you can say that." Donovan snickered his face a little red from all the laughing.

"I'm not even going to touch that." Seth snickered. David giggled on his lap, still writhing in amusement.

"I like the décor." Tina said, putting her hands on her hips as she looked around. There was a dark brown Italian leather couch with matching love seat, a large flat widescreen TV sitting on a cherry wood entertainment system, surround sound speakers dotting the room and a Persian rug on the floor under the couch. The coffee table matched the entertainment system and was empty, save for a brand new trio of pillar candles. Tina picked on up and sniffed it.

"Hum… sandalwood." She mumbled, putting it back.

"I happen to enjoy the smell of sandalwood." Donovan protested, glaring at the TV.

"I should buy you a sandalwood Vishnu." Seth snickered.

"No thank you, I don't need the help of a sex god." He replied, rolling his eyes.

"Oh! Give me one!" David asked, holding up his hand, still lying on Seth, though his head was now in Donovan's lap.

"You need more than just one sex god." Seth sighed, patting David's belly. "You need a pantheon of sex gods."

"Hey!" David whined, sitting back up with a big pout.

"What's with this painting?" Tina asked, walking towards a large painting hanging on the wall next to the bedroom door. It showed a woman on a rocky beach standing up from a chest, clutching an infant to her chest, with two men kneeling beside her. Tina poked at the painting, which had a glass covering and got a confused look. "It's so ugly…"

"That's Danaë by John William Waterhouse you uncultured bint." Donovan said angrily.

"Ouch." Seth chuckled, patting Donovan's shoulder. "Relax, we already know she's got the artistic sensibilities of Andy Warhol."

Donovan nodded in agreement and folded his arms over his chest, still looking irritated with Tina's performance so far. Back on the TV Tina left the painting behind and ventured into his bedroom. She flicked on the light and giggled.

"Wow, this place is weird." She said as she walked in. There were four paintings hanging in the room, all depicting lovely red haired women. The bed was also cherry wood and had a matching chest resting at the foot of the bed as well as long low dresser drawers beside the door. A pair of lamps rested on either end of the dresses and there was nothing else on the polished surface. She slipped on a pair of surgical gloves and opened one of the drawers with glee. Her joy quickly disappeared as she stared into the drawer.

"What the hell? It's like my grandmothers dresser…" She said reaching in and withdrawing a card. Tina opened it up and looked it over.

"See Jane run…" David said slowly with a big grin. "Run Jane run."

"But reading is sooo hard!" Seth protested, mimicking Tina's shrill voice.

"Happy Father's Day." Tina read allowed with a look of growing horror. "He's a father?! How old is this guy!?"

"So that's where you put my cards." David said tearing up and smiling at Donovan.

"I can't very well throw them out." He admitted, glancing towards the camera then glaring at David.

"Weird…" Tina said, replacing the card. She closed the drawer and opened the one next to it. This one was full of boxers, white undershirts and a few draw string pants. She lifted a pair of the boxers and unfolded them. "Humm, silk."

"She didn't even bother rifling through my undergarments." David pouted.

"I don't think there is a woman with that kind of fortitude in existence." Seth teased him.

David stuck his tongue out at him and looked back to the TV. Tina moved to another drawer and crooned with joy when she found a stash of tailored slacks and dress pants.

"He's a good dresser." She cooed. "I'm starting to like him already."

She jumped up and made a beeline for the closet. Flinging open the door she revealed a walk-in closet filled to the brim with expensive shirts, suits, pants, dress shoes, boots and an impressive assortment of ties.

"Jesus man, you've got two walk-in closets full of clothes!?" David exclaimed, gawking at the TV.

"Of course." Donovan replied stiffly.

"I bet there are more than just those two." Seth mumbled with a faint smirk.

David got a thinking look and nodded. Back on the TV Tina entered the closet and began pawing through his clothes. She looked perfectly happy now and all but displayed dollar signs in her eyes.

"I think she's in love." Seth remarked, shaking his head.

"Joy." Donovan sneered.

Tina lifted up a tie and snickered. "I can't wait to meet this guy."

"Defiantly love." David giggled, reaching around Seth to playfully prod Donovan's shoulder.

He slapped David's hand away and glared at the screen. "Can you just feel my joy?"

Tina walked out of the closet and addressed the camera. "Considering my two other choices and this choice apartment, I'm going to have to guy with guy number three."

"Gee and she didn't even look at your sheets." Seth said shaking his head. "Pity, I'm sure she'd find all sorts of neat stuff under blacklight."

"Now isn't that the kettle calling the pot black." Donovan retorted.

The TV faded to black and a producer opened the back of the van. He leaned in and looked at the three men. "Your turn guys."

They looked at each other then grinned manically. "This will be fun." David said with a sadistic smirk.

"I can't wait." Seth announced jumping out of the van.

Donovan just smiled and followed them out. The van was already parked in front of her house. It was an upper class white washed house complete with green lawn and white picket fence. They nodded to each other and stalked towards the front door.

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