Confused

Here I sit, yet my mind is else where,
thoughts running wild, heart is racing,
throat so dry my speech is gone, this
is such a foreign feeling, my rejection
is involuntary, what to do now I ask?

Everything twisting, confusion takes
center stage, looking for a place to
run to, no refuge to be found by I,
no place to hide my face from the
world, no one to run into open arm.

Looking up, looking down, my face
gives away the truth, I do not know
what is to come, which frightens me
beyond all else, yet excites me to
such delight, the lesser of two evils.

Plenty of answers are given, none
meet my satisfaction, perfection I
shall find, nothing else shall reach
my goal, cept the treasure I shall
find, where is this wonder of mine?