Then and Now

I think of time spent; wasted
Hastily and lazy we can't erase it
Sugar casings laced with
Images of your face I'm facing
Slowly the days shift phases
Amazed at trails I've been blazing
Save the betrayals broken promises and token phrases
I'm unfazed by the ways time was wasting
Waking up before the sun's rays rise
Time flies, as do I to where miles become mere paces
The fear I was once encased in erases all doubt and past praises
Our kisses once fulfilled wishes but now their taste changes
I'm past the danger of your anger, see how time estranges
You wore your hand in mine; your fingers symbolic bar cages
Released- your grip ripped my heart though I know the beat still rages
Blood drips like sand in time; a hard hit parting from your soft lips
engages
Forced by time to move to different stages, chapter closed I've turned the
pages
Learned from chasing; dreams aren't even what we seem to need- faith is,
Our antagonistic words descended to violent exchanges
Asian eyes aging lies characterized but the time it ages
I still remember the demise of good-byes, past compromises and
conversations
Who am I faking? You had my heart taken,
The picture of out finality I painted wasn't near its actual formation
So amazing your ways and grace is your hold on me was an uncontainable
invasion
And I know you found another lover, you left me alone broken home and torn
foundations
For a while my mode survival; happiness ended with your arrival, a tense
unavoidable situation
But fuck an explanation, your reasons for leaving won't restart my stopped
breathing; a recreation
I found a new formed patience latent, brought out by erosion and isolation
Time passed me daring- to look past this shit and stop caring; I give into
temptation
Discontent with contempt, times when I think that I should attempt to break
silence; it's past contemplation
The desecration of my heart forces control- nights when my elated mind is
apart from my soul's indignation
Slowly
The snow fall tranquility
A summer past; surrendered ability
The spring before we sprung instability
In the fall I fell into you with broken fragility
Years of friendship lost to silent hostility
Will it be? I already know any use of trying; futility

But I'm a different person now, I can forgive and forget and take a new
breath
I wonder if you were in the same position could you live through what feels
like death
It seems like humanity's implicit definition it to take all doubt and fear
and split it
Contradictory isn't it when you're out of disposition, its passed and
you're expected not to hit it
Your pain infliction played with me and my volatile emotions led me to
addiction
But listen my affliction I grew stronger and more ambitious with conviction
Did it make you happy to see how I felt, the delicate knit of trust and
friendship; to see it melt?
And you don't know the ways I dealt; days when I wanted kill myself and say
fuck this wealth
I guess I want you to see me now in good health
I'm happier now than I've ever been; commanding my own actions with
authority
I used to think what could have been but I got friendships now that take
priority
We wanted different things, I wasn't up to a real relationships required
maturity
Stolen purity, time grows tired but my past's doubts fade from obscurity
Just as a sunset's sure to be its reflection on the water is a surety
I'm reassured by my newfound passion for life that personal happiness is my
only real security